When Worlds Collide
by AuburnFan01
Summary: Sequel to Congratulations  which should be read before you read this one . April and Stark discover new things about each other - and their families - through their engagement and road to the altar. April/Stark, other pairings down the line
1. Sharing the News

**A/N: This is a sequel to my story _Congratulations _and picks off a little after the ending. Obviously it's an April/Stark pairing and the same Stark/Arizona friendship from the last one. All other pairings/friendships are still up in the air. As always, nothing can be fluffy and perfect all the time, so expect some true Grey's style drama down the road!**

* * *

><p>"You're engaged!"<p>

Robert scowled and shook his head as he shut the door to his office. He and April had agreed - after their professional discussion - that they would keep this under wraps and not tell anyone for a little while; that had strictly been because they were so amused by the bets that were being made about how long they would last. That, and Robert wanted to wait until he had actually bought her a ring, and she had wanted to be there to pick it out with him. With their conflicting schedules, it had been difficult finding a free hour when the shops were open. But they had done it, and now he was engaged to the woman of his dreams.

However, that didn't stop his agitation as he hissed, "Arizona, you need to not broadcast to the world."

"Oh, please! The entire hospital is going to know once they see that rock on her finger!"

"I don't care! That doesn't give you the right to shout it to the rooftops!"

Arizona put her hands on her hips as he sat down in his chair, exasperated. "Oh? And now who's shouting it to the rooftops?"

Robert glared at her. "Look-"

"You're engaged!"

He sighed heavily at the exuberance in her voice before he stared at her. "Do you act like this whenever you hear good news? Because I don't know how Callie deals with you."

Arizona only smiled, knowing his jab was an attempt to get her to go away. Instead of leaving like he wanted, she hit his shoulder with a soft punch and said, "I can't believe you proposed and she said yes!"

He scowled. "You thought she wasn't going to?"

"I didn't mean _that_," Arizona told him with a roll of her eyes and a sigh. "I just...I can't believe it! This is a big deal! How are you not more excited?"

"Because I'm dead on the inside from this conversation," he responded dryly and scowled when she glared at him. "What?"

"You don't want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about!" He laughed slightly and shook his head. "I proposed and she said she needed to think about it, and a week later she accepted. I bought her the ring and we didn't say anything until to anyone until she had a ring on her finger. There's nothing else to talk about."

"But you're engaged!"

"I know!" After a few moments of silence, he grinned. "I'm engaged."

Arizona laughed at the giddy smile on his face and pulled a chair so she was sitting beside him. "So...Have you guys started planning anything?"

He shrugged. "Not yet. I just put the ring on her finger this morning. But...I'd give her whatever she wanted."

"You'd do a big wedding?"

"If that's what she wanted," he answered honestly. "I mean...It's her first wedding and - hopefully - her only one so I think it should be special. Hell, I'd go to a justice of the peace if that's what she wanted."

"I think it's sweet."

"How many people did she show the ring to?"

"Just me and Callie," Arizona answered. "We caught her in the locker room while she was changing into her scrubs and Callie saw the light shine off her ring. She was more excited than I was - if you can believe it."

"I can't."

Arizona laughed and hit his leg. "Oh, I can't believe you're engaged. This is fantastic!"

"Yeah, which reminds me, her and I are having this dinner-thing tomorrow night as a celebration thing and...And you and Callie can come. So far it's me, April, Jackson, Lexie, Meredith, Derek, and I have no idea who else."

"You don't sound too happy about it."

"Oh, I'm not."

Arizona laughed mockingly. "Does April know that?"

"I can't say no to her," he answered with a smile. "Not with things that make her happy and things that she want. Like I said, this has to be special and be everything that she always dreamed about. It's...It's worth it. Her happiness is worth my suffering for a night."

"You're a good man."

"I know."

"Oh, that's not narcissistic at all."

"Hey." He pointed at her. "You're the one who said it, not me. I was just agreeing with you, which is the polite thing to do."

"Sure." She smiled. "Do you need any help preparing food? Because I can be a mean cook in the kitchen if I really want to be."

"If you want. It's not expected. April and I could have it covered. Which reminds me, we aren't doing it at my apartment - that's way too small."

"So where are you doing it?"

"Meredith offered us to use her house and we're all going to eat in the dining room."

"Well, that's nice of them."

"Yeah. I think they'll enjoy the company. I don't know though." Robert shrugged. "I don't know Meredith or Derek that well, anyway. They probably just did out of kindness and probably don't even want us there."

"Well, if you need help Callie and I would love to pitch in. Just let me know."

"Does Callie know you're recruiting her help for this?"

"No," Arizona answered with a shake of her head and then a smile. "But she won't mind regardless. She's a big girly girl and she'll agree with everything you're saying about how the wedding needs to be special and everything that April ever imagined. She'll be all into it."

"That's too much estrogen."

"April's too much for you already?"

"No, no. April I can handle - even when it is that time of the month. I just don't talk to her then," he answered with a soft smile. "It's just her and Callie and you...That's too many women. I'm only one guy."

"Do you want our help or not?"

"Yes, please. I'll die if it's just me."

"Oh, I'm so happy!"

He scowled and watched her walk away, giddy and laughing with the same excitement that he felt, but for a different reason. She was happy because weddings were fun and a good time, but he was happy because this was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with; he was looking forward to spending the rest of his life with her and waking up beside her every morning - for good. He was so excited because she was excited, because this was what he was waiting his entire life for.

Getting to - and down - that altar would be hell, he knew; but it would be a hell they'd travel together, and that made it aces with him.

Step by step, he told himself silently; that's how he would survive this. He just hoped he didn't have the urge to kill someone in the process.

* * *

><p>There was something about wearing an engagement ring that was so thrilling for April, and she wasn't even sure what it was. There was this air around her - it felt so amazing that she constantly had butterflies in her stomach. Every once in a while she would glance down and catch the shimmer in her glance and find herself smiling softly because she remembered the morning and how he had gotten down on bended knee. It had a simple proposal - just like when he broached the subject in bed.<p>

She was in the bathroom, hurriedly brushing her teeth because she was late for work, and he had walked in, a giddy smile on his face. She could remember feeling confused and then smiling as soon as he bent down on his knee and produced the box. Robert had given a quiet - yet confident - speech about how much he loved her and how much she meant to him and that they had gone from despising each other to this relationship that knew only love but no hate. Somehow - though his words were normal in a proposal - he had brought her to tears and she had accepted even before he had the box completely opened. Robert had smiled before he slipped the ring on her finger and kissed her gently before ushering her out the door because she would be late otherwise.

It really was like any other morning.

But it wasn't any other morning. She was engaged to be married! April couldn't help but smile as she turned back to her charts. Nothing could bring this day down for her.

"Hey, April."

Well, maybe nothing.

She turned to face Alex who was walking toward her with a chart tucked under his arm. Ever since she and Robert had moved in together, she had asked him to at least be civil to Alex and let him in on some of his surgeries. He had complied, rather reluctantly, and had started to allow Alex in on more surgeries and cases. However, Alex was still being a jerk to him and made quips about their relationship - even though Alex had no idea that Robert could hear every word he spoke from rumor mills and the shadows that he lurked in sometimes when he didn't want to talk to anyone. April scowled immediately, fearing he was here to cause her grief and try to bring her day down. "What do you want, Alex?"

"That Matthews case you put me on..."

April looked up from the chart when his voice trailed up; he was staring at her, surprised, and she asked, "What about the Matthews case?"

"What's that?"

She looked down to where he pointed and smiled. "It's a ring, Alex."

"You're engaged?"

"No, this is a purity ring," she told him sarcastically - a defensive maneuver she had learned from Robert after being around him so much, at least in the professional arena.

He scowled.

"Yes, it's an engagement ring." The only thought in his head that they were sleeping together was when she moved all her stuff out of Meredith's finally; he had no real concrete proof that they were sleeping together because it wasn't like they had told anyone. April had told Lexie and her sisters, and Robert...Well, she didn't think he had told anyone perhaps Arizona. As far as anyone else was still concerned, she was still a virgin. Now she was certain the rumors would circle about how they wouldn't have sex - probably - until their wedding night because she was a goody-two-shoe and would make him wait.

"You're engaged?"

The surprise in his voice was clear, but it didn't stop a roll in her eyes. Everyone had thought they wouldn't make it, that they were a strange couple, but Alex was the one who voiced the most discontent. If it wasn't for Alex - and her own nervous fears that had been for naught - they wouldn't have spent months without another. But, as Robert had told her frequently, the past was the past and there was nothing they could do to change it. They simply had to move forward as best they could. "Yes, Alex. I am engaged. Some would take that surprise as offensive, you know."

He shook his head. "I just...I can't believe it."

"Well, believe it." She showed him her hand. "Because it's real and there's a diamond to prove it."

"That's quite a ring."

April chuckled giddily. "It is, isn't it?"

Alex looked more dumbfounded than anything else. "Wait...You're engaged to Stark? To...To Stark? The guy who wanted to cut off a girl's leg and can be a complete jackass like one hundred percent of the time."

"Alex," she turned to him, "you can be a complete jackass one hundred percent of the time but someone is going to want to marry you one day."

"But why _him_?"

"Because I love him."

"God, you do?"

"I do," she answered, ignoring the disgusted look on his face. "Now, Alex, if you don't have anything else to discuss besides my engagement and how happy you are for me, then I think you should turn around and walk away."

"You're turning into him."

"Some of the things he does here work, Alex. You might not like them because you don't like him, but it's effective. He gets things done."

"He's willing to cut off girls' legs!"

"So you're going to hold one thing over his head the rest of his life? That'd be like me hating you because you freaked out on me when we almost had sex. It's ridiculous and stupid and it'll only end up hurting you in the end." She shook her head. "It's already hurting you, Alex. Because you could learn a lot from him but you're not because you can't be civil with him."

"April-"

"If you can't be happy for me - for the fact that I've found a relationship and I'm happy - then I don't have anything to say to you outside of work."

"Wow."

"Don't wow me," she told him, more upset now than anything else. "This is supposed to be a good time for me, okay? And if you're going to be negative, it's not going to be a good time for me. I'm engaged to be married, damn it. And if you aren't going to happy for me - if all you're going to do is bring me down - then I don't want to talk to you unless it's about work. Because I don't need that."

"What has he done to you?"

April only scowled as she watched him walk away, angry and frustrated. She shook her head before she turned back to her charts, but she couldn't get his words out of her head. She couldn't forget, and it bothered her that she couldn't push the comment from her brain; it bothered her because she didn't want it to poison her and therefore poison the only amazing thing besides becoming Chief Resident that had ever happened in her life.

* * *

><p>When she found him later that night in bed, curled up with a novel by Twain, she leaned against the doorframe and watched him read; he didn't know she was there, the book practically pressed to his nose because the font was so small, and he continued to read undisturbed. April decided that she loved watching him in these quiet moments which were rare but powerful. She felt like a bystander at the zoo, who had the luck to see the lion come out of his fighting mode to relax, finally. This apartment was his den, a place where he could relax and be himself free of outside judgment, where he didn't have to put up a facade of distance. He could let his walls down and not care.<p>

She was the only person he could be himself around. Although there were times when that bothered her - because she wanted him to have people to be open with - she didn't mind it now; she felt honored, in fact, that she was the one he chose to expose his soul to, that she was the woman he loved. April realized now that what Alex had said - about him doing something to her - was all a lie. If Robert did anything to her, it was make her thankful that she lived and breathed on the same planet as he did. He made her feel like she was on cloud nine, that she was the only woman in the world that mattered.

And that was enough to remind her why she had accepted his marriage proposal. "Hey."

He looked up from the book, his glasses sliding off his nose. Robert only stared down at the fallen glasses and scowled. "Hey."

April chuckled and pushed off the doorframe, moving toward the edge of the bed. "You really need to get those tightened, honey."

"Oh, yeah?" He picked them up and placed them back on the bridge of his nose. "This coming from the woman who constantly complains about her bike but never goes in to get it fixed?"

"Please, I have a month or two to wait before the weather is nice enough to bike outside. You need your glasses fixed as soon as possible." She didn't say anything else as she crawled up the bed, moving so she was straddling him; she smiled and gently pulled his glasses off, putting them aside before she turned back to him. He stared at her, patient and not agitated that she had stopped his reading. "We should stop by tomorrow morning."

"Before work?"

"Yes. They're open then, aren't they?"

"I guess we're going to find out," he answered with a smile. Robert sighed and leaned his head against the plush headboard when she rested her hands against his chest. "How did your day go?"

"Good, I guess."

He could sense by her tone that something had happened that she didn't want to tell him. "April."

"What?"

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened," she answered, her voice reaching a higher octave - his way of knowing, too, that she was lying to him. "It just...It wasn't the best day on record is all."

"Did something happen?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary." April sighed when he stared at her gently, though persistent. She began to gently trace the outline of his collar and told him, "Okay, just promise me that you won't freak out."

He scowled. "I can't make any promises."

"Please?"

Robert sighed. "All right, fine. Just tell me."

"Alex was giving me some crap about our engagement earlier, and-"

"Karev?" He sounded disgusted. "This is about Karev?"

"Robert-"

"April, come on. I thought we were past that and his butting in and that having an affect on your-"

"He doesn't have an affect on me, Robert!"

"Clearly he does," he answered quietly, gently moving so she would slide off him as he moved from the bed, into the bathroom; he wasn't surprised when she followed him in there and leaned against the doorframe. No words were spoken, but he could feel her gaze on him, concerned and apologetic. After a few moments, he leaned his hands against the sink and looked into the porcelain bowl. "All right, I'm sorry, April. It's just...He's still somewhat of a sore spot for me."

"I know." April moved so she was behind him and wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin against his shoulder as she stared at them in the mirror. He was staring at her, his eyes emitting calm though she knew he was tense. "And I'm sorry I brought it up."

"I'm not." He covered her hand with his as it gently rubbed circles on his chest. "I just...I wish he would mind his own business."

"If it makes you feel any better, I told him off."

"Yeah?"

She nodded and smirked when he smiled brightly at the thought. "He didn't look too happy after I did it, either."

"Good."

She smiled and kissed his shoulder gently when the smirk persisted on his face. "I don't want you confronting him, Robert. I handled it."

He only stared at her through the mirror before he sighed. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"All right. I can respect that." He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. "But if he causes any more problems for you, I want to know about it. Because I'm going to say something if this persists."

"Going to be my big, bad protector?"

"I'm not just protecting you, April. I'm protecting us."

April found her heart melt at his words - at how strongly he wanted to protect and preserve their relationship. However, she couldn't help but ask, "You honestly think that I would let him get to me that much that it would threaten what we have?" She knew her track record wasn't supporting her, but times had changed; she had changed. She no longer cared what Alex Karev thought about her relationship. All that mattered was what she - and Robert - thought about it. The only other opinion that perhaps mattered was her family's. "Robert-"

"It's a fear of mine," he cut her off gently. "Because people talk. And talking and comments can hurt and make you think about things in a different light."

"Have some faith in me, please."

He sighed. "It's not that I don't have faith in you, April. I just...I know what people say. I hear them as much as you do. But I'm different than you. I don't care about what anyone thinks of me personally or professionally - besides you. But you...You care about what other people think of you."

"Is it so bad that I want people to like me?"

"Not at all."

"So what's the problem?"

Robert turned to face her before he picked her up and gently placed her on the countertop so she could wrap her arms around his neck while he wrapped his arms around her waist so she didn't fall. "I don't want something to happen to us because people can't mind their own damn business."

"I won't listen to them," April told him, kissing him gently in reassurance. "It's just words. What you and I have...No words could destroy that."

"April?"

"Yeah?"

"You know how much I love you, right?" He laughed when she extended both her much, as if that was the limit of his love. "I love you more than that, honey."

"Yeah, but that's as far as my arms can reach."

"Well I'll have to make you a machine that'll make your arms stretch to the moon and back," he whispered gently before he kissed her, smiling against her mouth when she chuckled. She tasted like chocolate and he pulled away slowly. "Honey?"

"Yeah?"

"You had a piece of that cake on the counter, didn't you?" That cake had been a gift to him from his next door neighbor whose young child he had agreed to babysit for a few days while she took a class.

"No."

Robert tilted his head to look at her after she scoffed. "April."

"I didn't!" She sighed when he glared and smirked at her, eying her carefully as if he didn't believe her. She couldn't help but laugh. "I swear, I didn't!"

"Then why do you taste like chocolate?"

"Because..." She paused to think for a moment, and in that pause he pulled away from her to walk back into the bedroom where he would soon enter the kitchen to find that she had - in fact - taken a slice of the cake. April jumped from the counter with a groan and grabbed his arm, spinning him around and pulling him back into her. She threw her arms around his neck and wrapped one leg around his so he was forced to hold her up and couldn't run away from her.

He only stared down at her. "You think I can't carry you into the kitchen like this?"

April laughed. "I'm sure you could, but you won't."

"Oh, no?"

"No." She shook her head. "Because I can think of something better to do than worrying about that chocolate cake which was so-so."

"I haven't tried it yet."

"It was just okay," April told him. "I've had better."

"It's still cake. And-" He stopped his rant into how cake was fine with him as long as it wasn't dry and gross when her words registered to him. "And what's something better to do than worry about my cake-stealing girlfriend?"

"Having sex with your cake-stealing girlfriend."

"Well that's nice, too." He smiled when she rolled her eyes with a shake of her head.

"Come on." She moved away from him but grabbed his hand. "Let me show you how thankful I am that you're letting me do a big congratulatory dinner tomorrow night."

"Oh, yeah." He chuckled softly as she pulled him into the bedroom. "Definitely better than cake."


	2. An Engagement Ruined

"Come on, Meredith! Don't walk away from me!" Derek sighed as she ignored him, still, and walked into their bedroom with Zola - who was growing quickly with each passing day. Meredith had known that when it came to Zola, he would do anything and if Zola was around when they were heading into a potential fight, Derek wouldn't yell at her once because he couldn't bear the thought of yelling at his daughter and making her cry - especially when his issue was with her mother and not her. Derek followed her and shut the door gently as Meredith bounced Zola in an attempt to get her to laugh. "Meredith?"

"We aren't talking about it."

"You're running away."

"No," she shook her head. "I went into the bedroom because Zola doesn't need to see the other children around here."

Derek smiled at her reference to Jackson, Lexie, and Alex. "We have to talk about it."

"No, we don't."

"Yes, we do."

"No," she answered firmly. "I told them - they didn't ask - that they could come over here for a nice dinner. It's easier that way anyway, Derek."

"On who? Them?"

"Yes."

"I don't care about them!"

Meredith smiled and shook her head. "April was with me, when you were shot and in the operating room and Cristina was trying to take a bullet out your chest. She was with me, Derek, when I miscarried. And when I screwed with the trial she was the one person who didn't yell at me. She simply sat by my side and told me she was there if I needed anyone to talk to, because she knew what it was like to mess up."

Derek crossed his arms at her argument, realizing now that whatever he was going to say would be futile. "Meredith-"

"Derek," she cut him off, stressing his name, "she lived here for a while. And...And her family doesn't live here and she needs someone to celebrate with."

"When did you become such a champion of family?"

Meredith smiled again and lifted Zola slightly. "When this little girl walked into our lives. Now, I don't want to argue with you anymore. We're having the dinner here, and that's that."

"I can't talk to you right now."

Before he could walk away - out of the room and away from her - she called out, "Post-it!"

"Post-it?" He turned around to face her and chuckled softly. "You can't call post-it here."

"Why not?"

"Because it doesn't apply."

"Oh, yes it does."

"How?"

She kissed Zola gently in attempt to give her a second to think; her eyes glanced up to the post-it that they had framed on the wall and immediately she smiled. "You broke all three post it rules."

"How?" He sounded surprised now.

"Rule number one: you love me when you hate me," Meredith told him. "This...This is not love. You bailing on me when I agreed to hold a dinner is not love. Which brings me to the second rule: no running away ever. No one walks out. That was the agreement."

"You didn't yell post-it when I stayed at the house for a couple days."

"I don't want to talk about that," Meredith brushed him off quickly, seeing as that was still somewhat a sore spot and totally defeating her point. "Besides, you can't walk out on something as simple as a dinner - not that you can walk out on anything else, either!"

Derek nodded. "What third rule did I break?"

"We take care of each other," Meredith told him proudly. "And you not being here for me during this dinner - and the chaos of getting there - that's not taking care of each other."

"For one thing," he walked over to her and kissed her gently before he kissed his daughter, "I do love you right now even though I hate you. For another, I was running away. I was simply running into the kitchen. There's no saying that I wouldn't have come back. And three, I do take care of you and I will take care of you and support you through this ridiculous thing that you agreed to. I just want the right to complain about it first. Can you give me that, Mer, since I'm vowing never to break our post-it again?"

She nodded and smiled. "But why, Derek?"

"Why what?" He smiled when Zola turned to him and hit him gently on the nose.

"Why do you want to complain about it?" Meredith saw that he wanted to play with her, and handed their daughter over to him, smiling at him while he bounced her around their small room.

"For one thing, I like my house quiet."

"We haven't had quiet in here our entire relationship."

"And for another thing," he continued after she shot down his first reasoning with a roll of her eyes, "I don't even know Dr. Stark. See! I'm calling him doctor! What does that say?"

"That says that dinner is going to be a great opportunity to get to know him." Meredith scowled after a moment. "You mean you've never worked with him on a case?"

"Never. Mostly it was Arizona when it came to a child," Derek told her. "I have heard rumors, though. And not just stories from you."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Like he wanted to cut off a girl's leg?"

"Yeah, he did want to do that," Meredith told him and scowled when he began to laugh. "Derek, that's not funny!"

"No, no," Derek shook his head and stopped laughing with a smile. "That's not funny at all. You think he'd be upset if I brought that up at dinner?"

"I'd be upset."

"Oh, no, we wouldn't want Mommy mad at us, would we?" He kissed Zola's head gently before he turned back to Meredith. "Fine. When's the dinner?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Don't sound so surprised," Meredith told him with a shake of her head. "It'll be fine. We aren't cooking anything, Derek. They're just using the kitchen."

"And then the dining room."

"Yes."

Derek sighed before he conceded, "Fine. I'll go along with this and pretend it was all my idea but I want sex tonight."

Meredith smiled and shook her head. "Fine."

"Good." He smiled. "You think he'd be upset if I bought him a mutt and named him Max?"

"Derek!"

He only laughed and shook his head.

* * *

><p>Somehow everything had run smoothly. April couldn't believe how they had pulled it off, but it had happened. Robert had the same controlled, calm confidence making this dinner like he was in a complex surgery. There were barely any slip ups - and ones that happened were taken care of immediately before anything could spiral out of control - and he had remained collected throughout where April, sometimes, didn't know what she was going to do. But he had pulled it off. And he had told her that if she needed to take a minute to relax and breath that would be fine with him.<p>

Before April knew what had happened, she and Arizona had been kicked out of the kitchen by both Robert and Callie. Scowling, April only shook her head as she sat down on the couch. "They kicked us out, just like that?"

Arizona shrugged. "Callie loves to cook. And apparently, so does your fiancee."

"He was just starting to let me into the kitchen, too."

Arizona laughed. "And then he kicked you back out. Don't take it the wrong way. He just...He doesn't want this to be stressful for you."

April smiled at his concern and sincerity. "Weddings are stressful by nature."

"Well, he's probably going to do the best he can to make sure you're as calm as possible. And let me tell you what, April, you were not calm in that kitchen. For a surgeon, you don't really handle personal situations well."

"I don't know what it is. I'm calm in the ER and with people's lives, but not with food."

"And that's what Callie and Robert are for," Arizona told her with a smile. "So now you and I can relax while they worry and stress and cook."

April scowled. "I wonder if they're getting along in there."

* * *

><p>Callie wheeled around to find that he was staring at her while whisking eggs. "Don't stare at me like that."<p>

Robert only scowled more. "All right."

"All right, here's what's going to happen. You and I are going to work together to make sure this dinner goes off without a hitch, and to do that, you need to let me take over. Because I'm not like Arizona. I can't work under you. I'd go crazy and want to kill you."

Robert smiled finally. "I appreciate your bluntness."

"I'm a blunt person," Callie told him. "Now, what are you doing?"

"Working on the breadcrumbs? Are you going to do anything besides stand there?" He smiled when Callie only glared at him; this would be interesting, that's for sure. But he didn't mind battling her. Having never worked with her on a case, this was certainly different. He wasn't used to someone challenging him so openly, but he was up for the fight.

"You do want this to go off without a hitch?"

"No, I want this to be the most stressful times of April's life so she doesn't want to walk down the altar."

Callie scowled at his sarcasm; she was beginning to hate that. "So you do your thing and I'll do my thing."

"Sounds good to me."

"All right, get to it."

"I am," he told her, smiling slightly when she glared at him. "You might want to take your own advice, though."

This was going to be an interesting evening.

* * *

><p>Dinner had gone off without a hitch. Everyone had a good time, laughing, joking, telling stories, and April was surprised to find that Robert and Derek hit it off. She hadn't expected that; what she had thought was going to happen was there would be an awkward silence between the men, but she was happy now to discover that wasn't the case. April was glad, too, that there were finally seeing him for the man that she knew, not the snide surgeon that they were all used to.<p>

April smiled at him from across the table where he was animatedly talking to Derek about something; he hadn't even realized she was staring at him, so she turned to Lexie, who was busy eyeing the salad that she hadn't finished from earlier. "You know, Lexie, you haven't touched your food all night."

"I know."

"You feeling all right?"

"Fine."

April scowled at her short, blunt answers and the way she refused to look at her; April knew there were times when Lexie thought she was annoying, but they were friends. They talked and listened to each other - much like Meredith and Cristina but not so dysfunctional at times. "Lexie?"

"What?" Lexie sighed. "I'm sorry, April. I didn't mean to snap at you. This is your engagement party. You should...I shouldn't...I'm sorry."

"What's wrong?"

Before Lexie could answer, their conversation was interrupted Robert, who placed a gentle hand on his fiancee's shoulder. "Lexie, you mind if I steal April for a moment?"

"Honey, it's-"

"No, go ahead," Lexie cut April off with a wave. "We'll talk later. It's not a big deal."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead."

April took Robert's hand and scowled at the thoughtful look on his face - like something was bothering him and had been for a long time. Though she persisted, he didn't say anything to her until they were outside, on the porch, safe from the pelting rain. Finally, when he shut the door so they could have some privacy, she asked, "Robert, what's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"So then why'd you pull me away from them when-" She was cut off when he kissed her suddenly; though he had taken her by surprise, she responded gently, unable to come up with a good reason why she should push him away. Finally, when they separated, she asked, "Is that all you wanted?"

"No."

"What?"

"Don't hate me."

April scowled almost immediately, before he could even finish the sentence. She crossed her arms defensively and asked, "And why would I hate you?"

"I just got paged."

"What?"

"Yeah. I have to go. It's...It's one of the kids. They're prepping him for surgery and...I have to go," Robert told her, his tone apologetic. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, leave her alone here with everyone else. But he had to go; that was work calling, and as a surgeon he couldn't simply turn that down. She must have understood that. "Honey, I'm sorry. I just-"

"Go."

Robert simply stared at her, trying to analyze whether she was angry or upset or not surprised at all. When he found nothing except a blank stare, he discovered that his legs wouldn't move. He couldn't go until he knew she wasn't furious at him. "April-"

"I said go," April told him. "A kid's life is at stake. You don't have time to stand here and wonder about how I'm feeling."

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm not surprised," April told him. "We're doctors, Robert. These sort of things happen. When you're called to go, you're called to go. There's nothing else to it. I'll take care of everything here."

He hated that she had to do that, that she had to field the questions and bid everyone goodbye without him there; that's not what couples did. At engagement parties, they stood side by side and they were supposed to be going through this together. Work was preventing any of that from happening. If there was ever a time when Robert hated being a surgeon, it was right now. Because right now...Right now he didn't want to go. He wanted to stay here, with her, and be the guy that she needed him to be; he didn't want the guy that everyone else needed him to be. With a sigh, he told her, "I'm so sorry, April."

"Go, Robert. Seriously. Go be a doctor."

He kissed her gently before running to his car and pulling out of the driveway in lightning speed.

April watched him go before she sighed; soon all she stared into was darkness. Though it felt ominous, she wasn't afraid. Maybe it was because she stood on this porch - a place she knew she could call home if she needed to - or maybe it was because she had faith in him, that no matter what challenges were thrown Robert's way, he would always come back to her the same person.

* * *

><p>He was home four hours later. He tried to come in without waking her, but it proved impossible to maneuver his way through the dark bedroom without turning a light on. So, instead of turning on the light which he would need to change, he threw his phone on the nightstand and fell in bed beside her, staring up at the ceiling like he had come home from the hardest day of work in his life.<p>

When Robert sighed, he knew she was awake by the way she turned and rolled over to look at him. He didn't meet her gaze and asked, "How'd the rest of the party go?"

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yeah. We chilled for a little after you left. Told stories, jokes, whatever," April told him before she yawned. Gently, she rested her hand on his chest. When he didn't look at her, she asked, "How was the surgery?"

"He didn't make it?"

"What?"

"Bled out," Robert answered with a heavy sigh. "Just...Just like that."

"Honey-"

"That's the second time this year."

April sighed heavily; he refused to look at her, like the last time he had lost someone. For a man who put up a facade in front of everyone else - who made them think that he didn't care - he really did care; it rocked him when he lost a patient, sent him in a downward spiral that lated only until he focused on his next patient. Every death was like losing a pat of himself - and it was only worse if he knew the kid, grew attached to the kid. If there was anything that their relationship had done on a professional arena, she was certain she helped his heart open. He wasn't as cold anymore, and she couldn't help but feel partially responsible. If it wasn't for her - her optimism and perky demeanor - he wouldn't be laying here now, exhausted and emotionally drained. Right now he'd be going to bed alone, but he'd be sleeping. He wouldn't be lying awake at night, wondering what he could have done differently.

"Hey."

He tilted his head to look at her. "Yeah?"

"You want to talk about it?"

Robert shook his head. "Not really." With a soft sigh, he turned so he was laying sideways and staring at her. "I want to hear more about what happened at the party."

"You didn't miss anything, honey, really. As soon as you left the party kind of died down. It wasn't anything big."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," she told him gently. It was clear to her that he didn't want to talk about the surgery - and she didn't want to talk about the party - so what else did they really have to talk about right now? April felt bad for shutting him down, for telling him that she really needed sleep for the shift in a few hours, but she couldn't help but scowl at the cold look in his eyes - like he was slowly building up his barriers again so it didn't hurt so much the next time.

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Will you stop?"

Robert only blinked before he stared back up at the ceiling. "Go back to bed, April."

"Will you sleep?"

"Maybe. But," he glanced at her, "you need to sleep for work tomorrow. And...And I do, too, so we should sleep."

She removed her hand from his chest and took his hand in hers; he wouldn't sleep tonight even though he insisted she slept. Just because she couldn't be awake and conscious of his pain, their hands kept them connected. She supported him, and knew he would be better tomorrow morning after his wounds had healed and his mind spent all night realizing that it wasn't his fault that the boy died, but some sick twist of fate.

"April?"

She was half-asleep when she heard him; blankly, she murmured, "Hm?"

"I'm going fishing with Derek Sheperd this weekend."

"What?"

"Fishing," he repeated. "With Derek Sheperd. This weekend."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Yes, really. I like to fish."

"Am I going to learn something new about you every day?" She smiled when he didn't answer, and instead continued to stare at the ceiling as his mind went to a different world, the surgical world where he replayed every movement, every cut, until he was certain that it wasn't his fault. there was nothing she could do for him now; the only thing capable of saving him was his memory and faith in his skills.

She fell asleep moments later.


	3. Reasons to Love

"You look like you're heading out into the wild."

"That's because I am, honey," Robert told her as he threw a few extra pairs of socks into his bag; he scowled before he reached and threw a few more in, just for good measure, because if there was anything he learned growing up, one could never be too prepared. He sighed heavily and turned to face her. She was laying down in bed, a romance novel in her hand, and staring at him like he was crazy. "What?"

"You have enough socks there?"

"You can never have enough."

"Why do you have so many?"

"Because if I have learned anything growing up fishing with my father, it is that your feet get cold and you don't want to put cold feet into wet socks. The one article of clothing you want is dry socks."

"You fished with your father?"

"And my grandfather," Robert answered with a shrug. "We went every year and came home with enough fish to last us a month and then we'd have a few neighbors and family over to have a massive fish fry."

"Sounds like fun."

"It was." He smiled when she rolled her eyes; he knew her sarcasm by now - a habit she had learned from him. "You don't like fishing, do you?"

"I don't get the appeal of waiting patiently for a fish to come eat your bait. Nothing happens."

"Is that why you like trauma so much? There's always something going on?"

"I do not like trauma so much." She scowled when he stared at her. "Robert, come on. You know it doesn't matter to me where I'm working as long as I'm working."

"Oh, so plastics just makes your skin tingle?"

"Honey, you're the only thing that can make my skin tingle." She smiled when he only stared at her. "Aw, I thought it was good."

"You know what would have made that line better?" When she looked at him expectantly, he told her, "If you weren't reading a romance novel that's filled with sex."

"Hey, romance novels are good."

"Sure."

"They're empowering for women," April argued. "And they always get their happy ending. Can't I want to read a book where there's a happy ending all the time?"

"Doesn't that get boring?"

"Doesn't fishing get boring?"

"No," he answered defensively, shaking his head. He smiled. "But, I see your point. Just because it's boring to me doesn't mean it's boring to you. What's this book about?"

"A woman and a guy-"

"Get together? Oh, gee, how the hell did I call that one?" He ducked when she threw her book at him. Snorting, he straightened and commented, "Feisty."

April wanted another book to throw at him, but having none she found herself powerless; a pillow didn't seem fitting enough - besides, she liked the comfort it gave her behind her back. So instead of firing another round, she scowled. "Can you pick that up?"

"You know, April, when you're trying to mean and want someone to do something for you, you don't be polite about it. You be mean," he told her. "You don't say please and you don't say can. You say, 'Pick that up.'"

April crossed her arms. "Would ever tell me, 'Pick that up?'"

Robert paused to think for a moment, crossing his arms. "I wouldn't say it nastily." He laughed. "I want to live."

"Fine." She gave him a confident, angry stare. "Pick that up."

Robert snorted again. "No."

April threw her hands up in the air. "Well, how can I be mean if I tell you to do something and you don't do it?"

"How do you do it with your residents?"

"I take away cases, make them do meaningless things, threaten them sometimes. But, I can't do that to you. This is a partnership. I can't treat you like that. You're my fiancee," April told him, smiling suddenly. "I like that."

"You like what?"

"Fiancee."

He smiled and bent down, grabbing the book for her. Gently, he threw it on the bed beside her. "You're welcome."

"It's not appreciated."

"False nastiness doesn't suit you," he told her as he continued to pack for this fishing trip. "I think you should go back to being nice."

"But you just said-"

"And I was wrong."

April smiled suddenly. "I beg your pardon?"

"I was wrong," he answered, loud enough for her to hear so he wouldn't have to repeat himself again and admit his fault. "I like you a lot better when you're nice than when you're mean. And I was wrong to try to teach you differently."

"It was kind of fun."

"What?"

She shrugged at his smirk. "It's different. I'm not used to being mean. So...It was kind of fun, I think. I might try it some more."

"It'll be joking mean instead of malicious, right?"

"When am I malicious?"

"When..." He stopped. "Well I've never seen you when you feel attacked, so never."

"Exactly."

"Are you going to just sit there and watch me pack, or are you going to read your book?" Robert asked her, eyeing her carefully because he didn't like to be stared at while he was trying to do something. She looked at him like she wanted something, and that alone was enough to keep him grounded and moving around the bedroom.

"Does it matter that I'm looking at you?"

"Yes."

"I can't look at you?"

"No."

April scowled and threw her book down, crossing her arms with a defiant - and somewhat angry - stare. She simply stared at him, unmoving, like she was watching him perform a surgery from the observation deck. It was making him uncomfortable, but he stood his ground and returned his stare. They stood like that, for moments, before he sighed heavily and let his arms fall down in accepted defeat. "It just makes me uncomfortable."

"When I stare?"

"Yes."

"Why?" She chuckled. "When we weren't together I'd stare at you all the time."

"You did?"

"Oh, please." She waved her arm at him. "You were stealing glances, too."

"How come I never saw you?"

"Because your pain and anger were blinders for what was right in front of you," she told him. "You do that a lot, you know. When you're hurt, that's all you see. I stared at you quite a bit, you know."

"Couldn't keep your eyes off me?"

She rolled her eyes at his cocky grin. "Why does it make you uncomfortable that I stare at you now?"

"Because I know you're doing it. And you're staring at me like you want something."

"I don't want anything."

"You just want to stare at me?"

"Yes!" She laughed. "Your ex-wife never stared at you while you were married, Robert?"

"Not really." He paused to think for a moment before he nodded. "Yeah. She never really stared at me, not like you are. And when she did, she wanted something or I was in trouble for one thing for another."

"Well, I just want to look at you."

"Can you not?"

"No."

Robert sighed before he kneeled on the bed. "Okay, how about we compromise? You can stare at me but only when I don't know that you're staring at me and it's from a distance. I get uncomfortable when I know people are staring at me."

"You never have that phenomena that someone is staring at you?"

"Not with you."

April snorted. "Men really are oblivious."

"We are not," he argued, defensively. "I just don't feel weird when I don't know that you're staring at me. That should be a compliment."

"How the hell is that a compliment?"

The language from her surprised him, still, but he continued. "Because it shows how comfortable I am around you."

She shrugged before she added. "I'm going to miss you, you know."

"It'll only be for a few days. Like, two."

"You know," she glanced down at the blue comforter she made him buy - because blue was her favorite color - and then glanced back up at him again, "I've never slept in this bed without you. Even when you came home from a night shift, I'd always wake up with you there in the middle of the night."

"You going to be all right?"

She smiled at his genuine, immediate concern. "I will. It'll just be weird, is all. I'm not used to sleeping without you."

"Do you not feel safe?"

"Robert, I'm going to have to learn to sleep without you. There are going to come nights when you're working through the night or weekends when you have a seminar you have to go to. It's going to happen. I just have to get to used to it."

"But this is your first time and-"

"If I don't do it now, the next time is going to be my first time. And are you going to get all protective then? Because if that happens, then I'm never going to sleep here by myself. I need to learn."

"And you need to feel safe, too."

"Are you just looking for an excuse to not go fishing?" She knew she was wrong when he gave her a scowl and continued to pack for his trip. April sighed after a moment and watched him."When are you guys leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning," he answered quietly, agitated that she didn't feel safe and he was leaving her.

"Honey," she crawled to the other side of the bed. On her knees, she threw her arms around him and pulled him against her, his back against her chest. Sighing, she began to tenderly rub his chest. "I didn't mean to make you upset."

His body sighed - as if some of his tension was released with her touch. "I want you to feel safe here, April. This is your - our - home, and you need to feel safe and comfortable and able to sleep here at night without worries."

"I'm not worried, honey," April told him quietly, kissing the nape of his neck gently. "It'll just be weird not to have you beside me when I wake up, that's all. That doesn't mean that I won't feel safe without you here."

"It doesn't?"

"No." She kissed his cheek when his head tilted toward her. "And, if need be, Meredith offered her couch to me. She says the house'll be somewhat empty without Derek there."

Robert laughed. "There are three other people living there."

"I know," April answered. "But then I left and now Derek is leaving for a couple days so the house'll feel like a ghost town. If I feel unsafe at any time, I'll go there."

"No. You'll call me and I'll come home."

"After I go there."

"Fine," he conceded. "But you call me immediately, you understand?"

"Yes," she answered, smiling when he turned to face her, wrapping his arms protectively around her waist. She straightened and kissed him gently. "Now, you finish packing so you and I can spend some time together before you leave."

"Yes, ma'am." He kissed her once before he returned to his preparations. He knew, deep down, that she was staring at him, but he didn't turn around. Oddly, he was comfortable in the unknown with her beside him. Before it had been a scary road but now - with her as his partner - suddenly the unknown wasn't so scary. He didn't mind facing the darkness so long as he had her. And he figured that, right there, was enough of a reason to love her if he didn't have anything else.

* * *

><p>A day had passed and April found herself alone in their apartment for the first time. The realization that it was theirs, and not his, never got old. She smiled at the thought, cuddling up on her side, pretending that he was laying beside her. She would have fallen asleep completely - undisturbed - but a sudden noise bothered her. Immediately, she tensed and stared around the room, alert.<p>

There was the noise again.

It took her a few moments to realize it was a knock.

She scanned around the apartment for a possible weapon and sighed when she found a baseball bat in his closet - because that would do something if someone intruded with a gun. It was all she had, however, and with her heart racing, she hoped it - and adrenaline - would be all she needed. Slowly, carefully, she maneuvered her way to the front door.

There was the knock again, this time more frantic than before.

With a breath of courage - and her bat at the ready - April opened the door. She half expected to see an intruder, but was shocked at the sight before her. A woman stood before her, surprised by the bat. April knew her face was more surprised than the woman's. The woman - short with blonde hair - was covered her blood, her face caked over with blood, a gash above her eye and a bloody nose. Her face, hands, and wrists were covered in blood that April felt the need to throw the bat to the ground. This woman had already been through enough tonight. Facing a woman who fearfully held a bat wasn't going to help the situation. And, from April could collect, this woman wasn't an attacker, but a victim.

April peered at her. "What happened?"

The woman only scowled and shook her head. "You aren't my brother."

"Wait!" April moved to grab her arm and froze when the woman immediately jumped away, afraid of being touched. She put her hands up defensively. "Is...Is your brother Robert?"

"I know him as Rob, but yeah. Who are you?"

"His fiancee."

Her eyes - one of which was purple and bruised - widened in surprise. "He's engaged?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Why don't we get you to the hospital?"

"Okay." She watched April shut the lights off and move to lock the apartment before she asked, "You're just going there in your pajamas?"

"These people see me half naked. Pajamas won't make a difference."

"You're a doctor?"

April nodded and attempted to be as gentle with the woman as much as possible. She felt her tense even as she gently took her arm. As she led her down the hallway, she said, "I'm April, by the way."

"Rose."

"All right, Rose. The hospital is going to take good care of you, I promise." April gave her a soft smile and reassured her disbelieving stare by adding, "They have to because I'm Chief Resident and if they don't do their jobs, they'll be hell to pay."

Rose laughed slightly. "I'm glad you answered the door and not Rob."

It was weird to hear his name that way, but not awkward because April felt herself smile. "Yeah?"

Rose nodded. "Then there would be hell to pay."

April nodded slowly in agreement; as soon as they reached the hospital, she would call him, she decided. And she hoped Rose was right - that her faith in her brother wouldn't be shattered - and that there would be hell to pay. "Rose, can I ask you what happened?"

"I didn't duck in time."

April glanced at her and sighed slightly when Rose shrugged helplessly. There were a lot of things she still didn't have the hang of in life, but she understood this. Rose's boyfriend - or whoever - had hit her once and then found himself unable to stop. It became clear to her that Rose wanted to change the subject, so April asked gently, "Why'd you come here?"

"Because he's my brother," Rose answered. "And no matter what...He's always had my back. Where is he?"

"A fishing trip."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Don't tell him about this," Rose pleaded. "I...I don't want him to know. There's...There's no reason to worry him. Please, April. Let's just keep this between you and me."

"Rose-"

"Please," she begged through the pain. "He'll lose it if he sees me like this."

"First thing tomorrow," April compromised, "I'll call him. Deal?"

Rose nodded. "Deal."

"All right." April hit the button to the elevator for her. "Now let's get you to the hospital and get you checked out. You should have gone there first."

"My first instinct was to go to my brother's," Rose responded simply, as if her moment of need she could rely on her brother the most - more than any doctor at any hospital. If this wasn't such a dire situation - and if Rose wasn't in such bad shape - April was sure she would have smiled. No matter how distant he was with his sister, they had an unbreakable bond; if one of them was hurt - and if wasn't by them - there would be hell to pay.

April wrapped a protective arm around Rose's shoulders. "Everything will be okay, I promise."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know your brother," April told her gently. "And he won't rest until it's okay."

Rose smiled and, as the elevator doors closed, she commented, "I like you, April."

"You won't like me when you have to get stitches in your forehead," April answered with a soft smile. "You need to talk to the police, too."

"Not tonight."

"Rose-"

"Not tonight," Rose answered firmly, just like her brother did when he wanted to end a conversation. "I'll file charges in the morning, I promise."

April tried her best to believe her. She almost shivered at the thought of Robert's reaction when she called him tomorrow morning.


	4. Shattered Faith

Rose hadn't gotten her way. April had forced her - well not forced, just explained that the only way they'd have a solid case against her attacker was if they took the evidence tonight - to file a police report that night. She had, at first, resisted, before she realized that April was right and if she wanted justice, she didn't want any evidence to be compromised. So, she went through the pictures and the questions, detailing how it had started out as a simple argument over laundry which had turned physical when he swung at her. Somehow that fight had escalated further, and he hadn't been able to stop. The assault had ended only when she kneed him so hard that she was certain he never would get up again.

Now, after the questions and pictures were done, Rose asked April, "You're going to call him, aren't you?"

"He'd never forgive me if I didn't."

"He's got a stone heart, that way. Didn't used to always be like that, you know. There was a time when he'd forgive someone for just about anything."

"Lauren?"

"You've heard about her?"

"I've met her."

Rose laughed through the pain; she thought she wouldn't be able to laugh again, so shaken up that sometimes it hurt to smile. But this woman - her brother's fiancee - was slowly bringing her back to life with her honesty and her acceptance that Rose no longer wanted to talk about the attack; she respected that this woman wouldn't push the issue. For the first time tonight, Rose actually felt safe alone with another human in a room. "Did she make a good impression?"

"Well, the first time I met her - your brother and I were dating - she came up and said she needed to see him. I asked who she was, and she said she was his wife."

"For all the cheating she did on him, she always had this sick thought that he would never leave her. She always thought he was hers," Rose told her with a shrug. "And, for their marriage, he was. I don't think he ever cheated - or thought about cheating - once. Not even after he found about the affair."

April smiled. "He's a good man."

"You must know that."

She smiled again. "He's definitely had his good moments. He, uh...He said that you two aren't that close."

"We aren't. Haven't been for some time."

April's movements were careful as she sat down in the chair by Rose's bedside; she didn't want to do anything that might startle her soon-to-be-sister-in-law in her fragile state. "Can...Can I ask why?"

Rose smiled. "You don't have to be a nervous nellie about it, you know."

"I don't want to overstep any boundaries," she answered rather timidly.

"You can't do worse than what's already happened," Rose told her, motioning toward her bruised eye and stitched up forehead. "So don't worry about overstepping any boundaries."

"But I do."

Rose smiled at her concern. "Don't worry about me. I...I'm fine."

"You're as bad of a liar as your brother is."

"Is he a terrible liar?"

"Oh, yeah," April told her, remembering when he had first told her he loved her; she had seen right through his lie that noting was on his mind, and the same went for his sister - never mind the fact that it didn't take a brain surgeon to know that Rose wasn't all right after her attack. April was certain - if it were here - she'd be a mess; she was certain she wouldn't have the strength to put up a facade like Rose was. "And you are, too."

Rose sighed. "Clearly, I'm not fine. But'll I'll be all right. I'm stronger than you think."

"Your boyfriend beat you."

"I don't need that reminder."

April recognized the snide tone instantly - and knew with Rose that it was a defensive mechanism, as well. "I'll I'm saying is that...when someone you trust hurts you like that, you aren't fine afterwards. You...Your entire faith is shattered."

"Oh? And you know that for a fact?"

April shrugged. "I've had a couple rough goes of it, but nowhere near as bad as you. Which is how I know that what you're feeling...whatever it is...it's painful."

"I don't need your help."

April smiled. "You are just like your brother."

"I don't need your help," Rose repeated, though she didn't move from the hospital bed.

"No, but you want it."

Rose simply stared at her, coldly. "All right, I'm listening."

"I think you should talk to someone."

"You know what's best for everyone else?"

"I don't pretend to," April answered. "But I know your brother - and even though you aren't the same person - you two are very much alike. And when something is painful for him, he doesn't talk about it. He tries to avoid it as best he can and it eats him alive. If you're anything like him - and you are because you're avoiding what happened to you - then it's going to eat you alive, too, if you don't talk to someone."

"Do you have someone in mind? Because right now I don't trust anyone." Rose wouldn't divulge that she was beginning to trust April; she had her brother, too, who she trusted more than herself despite their dark differences but who else? She had thought she trusted her boyfriend and now she was in a hospital bed, covered in wounds he had inflicted on her body in a savage rage that she never knew was imaginable. Rose wasn't even sure she trusted herself, anymore, and she hoped a good talking to from her brother - who always kicked sense into her - would change that.

"I don't know...I can get someone in touch with you, though."

"Can we figure that out tomorrow morning?"

April nodded. "Yeah. We can do that."

"You're going to call Rob tonight, aren't you?"

April shrugged. "I'm thinking about it. I'll be here through the night but tomorrow I have to go to work."

"I can handle being alone by myself, you know. I'm not a baby."

"I know you can. I just...I don't think you should be alone right now. It's bad enough what's happened to you. You don't need me abandoning you as well. If it were me, I'd want someone there with me, too."

"Well, I'm not you."

"That's a barrier, isn't it?" When Rose didn't say anything and instead stared, April nodded slowly. "I think I should call Robert."

"Okay."

April was surprised by her quick acceptance. "Really?"

Rose nodded. "I need my brother I think now more than I ever have before."

"Okay. I'll...I'll call him."

She excused herself moments later and pulled her cell phone out, dialing his number with a knot in her stomach. Finally, after three rings, he picked up. "Robert?"

_"What's up? Are...Are you all right?"_

"I'm fine-"

_"Could you not sleep, or...?"_

"No, Robert," she cut him off. "I'm...I"m fine."

_"Then what's up?"_

"When I was going to bed, there was a knock on the door. And when I opened the door, it was your sister. She...Her boyfriend roughed her up pretty bad and I took her to the hospital to get her stitched up and...She looks bad, Robert."

_He sighed. "Is she all right?"_

"Physically, she could be worse. She has a gash above her forehead, a black eye, and perhaps a broken nose that Dr. Sloan can fix. But emotionally...I don't know. She won't talk to me, which...which I guess is understandable. I mean she doesn't even know me so-"

_"April, stop."_

His short tone surprised her, like he was agitated and snapped at her. "Robert, I think you should come home."

_There was a short pause on the other end as he breathed out, perhaps in a sigh. "No, I think I'm fine here."_

Her mouth widened in shock. "I beg your pardon?"

_"She doesn't need me," he answered simply._

"She is lying in a hospital bed after getting the shit kicked out of her and she's asking for you - her brother - and you're not even going to come home to make sure she's all right? You're not even-"

_"She's fine, April."_

"You should see her. You can't just-"

_"I don't need to see her," he answered coldly. "Unless something is wrong with you, I'm not coming home."_

"She's your sister! You can't just not be here for her!"

_"April," his tone turned angry, like he was a doctor and she his student again, like she was one of his residents that annoyed the hell out of him, "I have been here for her my entire life. There is nothing that I haven't done for her. Nothing. I am not having this discussion with you. Not here."_

"She is your sister._"_

_"Yeah, and you don't know her like I do."_

April had a feeling he hadn't told her the whole story, and before she could get anything out of him, he hung up. Her mouth still open in surprise - as she realized that everything she knew about him as a person was wrong - she turned to look at Rose through the mirror. His sister lay her, her head back as if she was trying to escape to a place other than this hell. April wasn't sure what to say, how to explain to her that Robert wasn't coming back home for her.

She didn't think it was possible, but she thought she was more heartbroken than Rose tonight. To save her from even more pain, April plastered a fake smile on her face and walked into the room where Rose looked up expectantly. Instead of telling her the truth, April said, "I couldn't get a hold of him. I'll try again later."

Maybe she was trying to make herself believe the lie - because right now that was better than the truth that he wasn't coming home for his sister. For some reason - and April couldn't understand why - she felt like he was abandoning her, too.


	5. Who We Are

**A/N: I hate writing fight scenes, especially for this couple :(**

She couldn't believe him. April hadn't meant to do it, either; as soon as it happened, however, she couldn't take it back. All she could do was stare at his surprised - and frustrated - face as he stood outside their apartment with a bag in his hand. Her face must have emitted surprise, for she could only stare at him.

"Feel better?"

She wasn't sure what to say, except that she didn't want to apologize. "I-"

"You want to hit me again before I come in?"

"I...I..." She looked down at her shoes before looking back at him; his eyes were cold, a darkness that she had never seen in him before. God, she wanted to hit him again, to scream at him for not coming home two days sooner, but she couldn't find the strength. April couldn't even find the strength to stop her face from staring at him in such surprise. "I don't know."

"Please move," he told her, exasperated. "I'm exhausted and I'd like to lay down for work tomorrow."

She allowed him inside before she shut the door, leaning against it, hoping it would be the strength she needed to confront him. With a breath of confidence, she pushed off it and followed him into the bedroom; she crossed her arms as she stared at him while he unpacked, like nothing had happened, like his sister hadn't come to him hoping for a helping hand and he hadn't turned her away like she was a rabid dog. He would glance at her occasionally, as if he had no idea why she was staring at him with such surprise and anger. "Are we going to talk about this?"

"No."

"I think we should."

"And I think we shouldn't," he told her, shoving his clothes in his drawer angrily. It wasn't like she was used to; he was always so meticulous. Each article of clothing was put in carefully, perfectly, and now he was shoving them in there, like he was shoving his feelings into a box so he didn't have to recognize or fight them. "How did your shift go yesterday?"

"I'm not talking to you unless we're talking about your sister."

"Then I guess we won't be talking."

April uncrossed her arms - as if she was going to give up - before she crossed them again in defiance. Soon all his clothes were put away and he stopped, crossing his arms, as he stared at her from the across the bedroom. Though silence filled the air, the tension was thick. Were she any closer, she was certain she would have slapped him again. But a bed separated them - a bed they most likely wouldn't share tonight because he'd probably sleep on the couch - and she hoped that would be enough to end this tension. April didn't like it, the way she resented him and wanted to tear him in half. The knots in her stomach were ones she had never felt before, mostly because she was torn between anger and surprise.

Robert only stared at her, his eyes cold. "I'm not talking about this with you, April."

"I'm your fiancee. We are engaged to be married. Part of marriage is communication. You need to talk to me."

"I don't need to do anything."

"Child."

He scowled at her comment, at her dark - and irritated - stare. Robert hated when she called him out on things and now it irritated him so much that he fought the urge to wring her neck - he could never hurt her anyway, he just needed to get his anger out at something. He hated that it was her who would be forced to take this because she didn't deserve it. Her comment only infuriated him more. So, instead of opening his mouth and unleashing all his anger, he kept his mouth shut - for her sake - because she deserved a boyfriend who wasn't going to use her as a punching bag when the world got down on him.

"You aren't going to say anything?"

Robert shook his head. "No. I'm not."

"Why?"

"Because there's nothing to say," he told her.

"You left your sister in the hospital - didn't even care about her - after her boyfriend beat the shit out of her. I think that we can say a lot about that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that it says a lot about who you are."

Robert only rolled on the balls of his heels before he looked down at his feet. Glancing back up at her again, he commented, "You're just saying that because you think that it's going to rile me up and get me to talk about it."

"Is it working?"

"No," he answered stubbornly. "I'm not talking about it."

"I won't talk to you about anything else," she told him. "About us, work, anything. I won't talk to you."

"And you think that's a threat?" He asked with a soft scoff.

No matter how many times April told herself that was his way of defending himself, she couldn't help but feel that knife sink into her heart. They were hurting each other now; she wasn't sure who was hurting more, and she was afraid to find out who could inflict the most damage because if there was anything she learned about Robert is was that when he felt trapped, he clawed his way out and didn't care who got in the way so long as he got out of his small, dark corner. "What does that mean?"

Robert felt his bitter train come to a complete stop when he heard the crack in her voice; the way she was fighting the gloss in her eyes made him reconsider his approach - a trick he had learned from his marriage with Lauren because it was all he had to protect his soul from her venomous claws. He hated himself, for putting this walls up with April; she was nothing like Lauren. He was certain she didn't have a malicious bone in her body and here he was, attacking her defensively to an offensive attack that he was certain wasn't there. She would never attack him; instead she would set him in his place and show him that he was wrong and that he had some changing to do - like she had done for Asha. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to be treated like she was the enemy. Robert was certain he didn't deserve her.

But he wouldn't back down.

He couldn't go through this again, and if that meant being a bitter jackass to her for a few days, then so be it. Because she could forgive him for this indiscretion - he was sure - but he would never forgive himself if he listened to her, if he went to Rose's aid.

Silence filled the air now, so thick that he thought it was going to suffocate the both of them. For a moment he thought she was going to cry, but she stood her ground. Though her eyes were glossed over, no tears fell. If anything, he saw the lioness in her come out, ready to attack him should it even seem like he was going to pounce.

Finally, she told him, "You're a real dick, you know that?"

His eyes widened in surprise at her bluntness and language. "I beg your pardon?"

"You're a dick," she repeated, this time more confident. "Your sister came here - in her time of need - because she thought she could trust her brother to be here for her when she hit rock bottom and needed you the most. And you ignored it, like she was some animal on the street - who, by the way, I think you would have shown more compassion towards. She's your sister, damn it! And you turned her away. You..."

"I'm what?"

She didn't say anything.

"A heartless wretch?" He laughed. "Come on, April! Lay it on me! Tell me how I'm cold and heartless and awful and a dick! But that won't change anything because I am not talking about with you! I am not talking about it!"

"You're acting like a child."

"Well that's something you know well, isn't it?"

That had done it. If he had thought before that his words were hurting her, he had all the proof he needed right now. April took a moment to compose her tears, breathing in like each gulp of air strangled her. Finally, she ran her fingers through her hair and sighed before she looked at him, her eyes attempting to remain strong through this attack he was laying on her - for no reason other than his defense was a strong and relentless offense. "I am not trying to hurt you, Robert. Do you understand that? I just...I don't understand how you can be so cold to your sister. I don't understand-"

"What about I don't want to talk about it do you not get?"

His yell silenced her, though her hands began to shake slightly. The anger in his eyes stunned her from even thinking. Her mind blank, she looked up at him and simply stared at him, like she was staring at a ghost of him - of a man she no longer recognized. And she knew this wasn't for nothing; this dramatic and painful change wasn't just there. There was a reason behind it. "Why don't you want to talk about it?"

"Because."

"Because isn't an answer," she told him sternly. "Because is an immature answer that you give when you want to avoid a subject. And I want to know why. I think I have a right to know why you're just leaving your sister in the cold."

"Why? Why do you need to know?"

"Because you could do it to me! Because if you can do it to her - a woman who had complete faith that you would be there for her - than you can sure as hell do it to me and that...Do you have any idea how that feels? To think that I don't have you? That you could just turn your back on me?"

"I would never do that to you."

"And I'm sure there was a time when you said the same thing about Rose," April told him with a shake of her head and a sniffle. Her hands continued to shake. "Fine, Robert. Fine. We won't talk about this. I'll just...I'll keep my mouth shut and we'll pretend we never had this argument."

"April-"

"No. You don't get to shut me down and then expect a conversation. It's either one or the other, not both."

"I just don't want to talk about it. Is that so bad?"

"Yes, it is," April told him. "Because it says to me that you don't trust me enough to tell me when something is hurting you. You don't trust me to sit down and listen to your side. You don't trust me. And that...We're nothing if we don't trust each other."

"This has nothing to do with not trusting you."

"Then tell me what it's about! Because I am confused as hell right now."

"This is about me and Rose - and our past. This has nothing to do with you and me and our present together. There is no reason for you to get involved."

"I'm already involved! She came knocking on our door bruised and beaten. Don't tell me I'm not involved, damn it! I took her to the hospital, I sat there all night with her so she wasn't alone and afraid, and what did you do? You went fishing! You left your sister outside in the cold for...for I don't even know why! And I don't understand. I don't understand how you can just do that to someone you love for no reason. I don't understand, Robert. She had complete faith in you and you abandoned her. How can you do that to her? How can you be that cold? What the hell happened to-"

"Stop talking! Just stop!" Robert knew the only way to startle - and scare - her more would be to hit the wall. Instead, he only shook his head and grabbed a pillow from their bed. "I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight. I'll see you in the morning."

She only turned and watched him walk into the living room, shutting off all the lights before he threw the pillow on the couch. As he was about to lay down, she asked, "Who are you?"

Robert only stared at her; he didn't answer as he turned the last light off, sending them into darkness.


	6. Fear of the Dark

**A/N: I feel like because this is a sequel, no one's reading it, and that makes me sad :( **

Robert sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair as he stared up at the ceiling; the people who lived above him were vacuuming, making it impossible for him to fall asleep. He was in no mood to turn on the television and watch the news so instead he continued to stare around the room, wondering what the hell had brought them to this place - their first fight that resulted on him willingly sleeping on the couch. He hated his sister for coming here - for searching him out instead of going to the hospital straight off where she could be treated properly.

He hated Rose for bringing April into a situation that didn't concern her - that she could have died not knowing and nothing would have changed.

April hadn't deserved the cheap shots he took at her simply because he didn't want to even think about Rose and her injuries, let alone talk about them. It hurt him too much. And in the process of defending himself, he had lashed out and viciously - perhaps irreparably - hurt the woman he loved.

Robert sighed again and tilted his head so he was staring at their bedroom. He could vaguely see the silhouette of her body in the darkness and he sighed again, realizing how wrong he was to lash out at her when she was only trying to help.

She was right. He was a jackass and he deserved all the harsh words she had thrown at him for the way he had treated her - but not for the way he was treating his sister. But for right now, he couldn't will his body to move.

Robert only stared up at the ceiling and wished he could turn back time, to a time that didn't resemble hell - because this was hell. Hurting the woman he loved in an attempt to protect himself was the worst thing he had every done - and he had done a lot of terrible things in his life. But hurting April...That was by far the worst.

And he had no idea how to fix it, except to admit that he was wrong.

And he wasn't sure if he even was wrong - at least when it came to Rose. But April...He had stepped over a line there, and could admit it because he couldn't bear to be the reason why she cried herself to sleep at night. He wouldn't forgive himself for making her cry because he was malicious and cruel. He had handled the situation all wrong with her, and now it was his turn to fix it.

* * *

><p>April realized that her insomnia was worse with him here than it had been when he was on his fishing trip; though he was in the next room and she knew she was safe in this apartment, she couldn't sleep. There was no way her body and mind would relax thinking that they were in the midst of their first fight and it was simply over the issue of communication and the fact that he wouldn't talk to her...he wouldn't work out his problems with her and instead put a wall up around himself, to keep her out.<p>

She never had been a woman to fall asleep crying, but she hadn't been able to help herself. Her pillow seemed the only constant support system now, since it was clear to her that she couldn't rely on him if she had a problem - no matter if he promised it would be different with her than with Rose. Her body seized before it registered that he was standing in the doorway. She only scowled through the darkness before she rolled back on her side again, away from him.

"Did I wake you?"

April didn't answer. See how he liked a taste of his own medicine.

Robert sighed and walked over to the bed, setting his pillow down. He kept his eyes glued on hers as he slid in the covers beside her. When she gave him a scowl and rolled over so his back was toward him, he told her gently, "I'm sorry."

Nothing.

"I...I made some cheap shots earlier and I shouldn't have. I...I only did it because I really didn't want to talk about Rose and you kept pushing me and...It was the only thing I could do to get you to stop."

Still silence.

"But," he added after an exhale, "that doesn't make it okay. I lashed out at you, and you didn't deserve that."

April clutched her pillow tighter.

"I'm sorry."

After a few moments of silence, April told him, "It's going to take a lot more than that."

"You wouldn't understand if I told you."

"Oh, yeah?" April instantly turned around so she was on her side, facing him. Her elbow propping herself up, she told him, "Try me."

"April-"

"Come on. Try me."

He sighed, thankful that the hours apart on the part was time offered for reflection, for realizing how terribly he had handled this situation. He was so caught up in his own attempt to ignore the situation that he hurt her in the process when he really should have been honest with her. It was just that - by admitting the truth - he was opening himself up for more pain, and when it came to Rose he wasn't sure he could handle that. Finally, he opted for honesty and communication, what she deserved from him. "This isn't the first time that this has happened, April."

"What does that mean?"

"Rose has a tendency to date men that are bad for her. Whether it be drug dealers, drug addicts, abusers, drop-outs, dead-beats, what have you. That's...That's her pattern. And she's been in relationships before where her boyfriend have kicked the shit out of her. And every time - _every time _- I was there to help pick up the pieces. I got her out of that relationship and tried to help her find her way again."

April scowled slightly; he was the kind of man who didn't mind doing that for someone he loved - that was one of the traits she loved about him because no matter how many times she screwed up, she knew she could always count on him. She would never lose him - and it was calming, to know that there was someone out there who loved her like that...that he didn't have a limit to what he would do for her. April shook her head and told him honestly, "I don't see the problem."

"She'd go back to every guy that hit her," he told her softly - as if the admission was a knife to his heart. "And I'd _beg_ with her, plead her not to do it...To see what she was doing to herself and that she deserved more than a man who thought love was hitting her. She deserved more than that. I begged her to see reason. Got down on my hands and knees, opened up my soul on countless occasions, to show her that she didn't need to have that kind of life. That she had a big brother who loved her and would walk to the end of the earth for her. I begged, April. I've never begged for anything - or on anyone's behalf - my entire life."

"And she didn't listen?"

"No," he told her. "She didn't listen. And finally I had enough. I couldn't just sit on the sidelines and watch her go from abusive relationship to abusive relationship. I can't watch my sister go through that anymore, April. Because that's what she does. It isn't going to stop. No matter what you or I say or do. She's going to go back to the bastard that hit her and he's going to hit her again and the cycle is going to repeat itself. The only difference is that I won't be there to watch it happen."

"So...By not talking about it, you're distancing yourself?"

"Yes," Robert answered. "I just...I can't watch my baby sister be hurt like that. And I try, damn it, I do. I try everything I can think of, but nothing will get through to her. _Nothing_. So I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not watching her self-destruct."

"She's your sister."

"And I've reached my breaking point," he told her, honestly. "I can't do this anymore, April. I won't."

"So you're just going to abandon her? She expects you-"

"She expects me to be there for her and pick up the pieces like I've always done - even though it doesn't change anything and she still goes back to those scumbags. I won't do it anymore. I won't be there when she falls again."

"She thinks you will be - you are."

"Maybe this'll be the reality check that she needs then," Robert murmured with a shrug. "Because I'm not going to be there for her when she falls because April, when she falls, she takes you down with her and then uses you to get up before she falls on top of you again. You don't see now, but you will."

"Maybe she's changed, maybe this is the last time."

"She said that it was the last time three abusive boyfriends ago. She's not going to change, April. Not for me, and not for you. She'd only change for herself, and I don't think she's willing to do that."

"Change is scary. You shouldn't go through that alone."

"You know what's scary? Getting a call at two in the morning that your sister is in the hospital with a broken hand and concussion because her boyfriend hit her over the head with a wrench is scary. Scary is tending to her wounds because she's too weak to tend to them herself. Scary is watching her become a sobbing mess over a boyfriend who cheated on her and then locked her in her house for a week because she wanted to leave him. Scary is worrying constantly that every time she mentions a boyfriend, he's going to be the one to kill her. Scary is wondering every second of every day if she's out there, bleeding to death because she had her head bashed into a wall one night when her boyfriend lost his temper. Scary is freezing every time you hear the phone because it could be the cops telling you she's been murdered."

April only stared at him through his pause for breath - not because he was rambling, but because this pained him; reliving everything by telling her was painful for him, and he needed to breathe so it didn't suffocate him. She waited patiently until he continued, his voice cracking dangerously.

"Scary is panicking when you get a phone call because you know she's going to come to you for help - because you're all she has - and she could be in the worst shape of her life. Scary is knowing that no matter what you say, nothing is going to be different. She's always going to go back to them and the fear is going to start all over again - but this time it's going to be worse because the next time...It could the last. And you're helpless and there's nothing you can do to save the girl who you promised you would never let get hurt. All you can do is stand there and watch her fall; and you can't save her, no matter how far you reach out of your hand. That's scary. Change..." He chuckled and shook his head. "Change is nothing compared to that."

"Robert-"

"I'm not doing it anymore, April. And you might hate me for it, but I just...I can't do it."

"She's your sister."

"And I'm not going to let her take me down with her anymore while she self-destructs. Hate me for it, but-"

"I don't hate you."

"Sure sounded like you did earlier."

"I didn't understand," April told him with a shake of her head. "And...And now I understand. But don't you think she deserves a second chance?"

"For what? To prove to me that she's just going to go back to her abusive boyfriend?"

"She filed charges against him. The police arrested him."

"That doesn't mean she won't find someone else to beat the shit out of her," Robert answered cynically with a shake of head. "She'll find someone, April."

"Robert-"

"I can't do this anymore," he told her, his voice cracking. "I can't watch her hurt herself."

"Everyone deserves a second chance."

"You give it to her, then. Because it won't be by me. And I promise, when she does move on to some guy that's going to hurt her, I won't be there to lick her wounds so she can do the same thing over again."

"You're just giving up on her?"

"It's really easy to give up on someone who's given up on herself," Robert told her gently. "Now...I'm going to go to bed. And when I wake up tomorrow morning, we aren't going to talk about this. We are going to pretend that this never happened - that you never called me to tell me she was in the hospital - and we're going to move on with our lives."

"It's not going to be that simple."

"I have to try. Because it's better than the alternative." Robert paused. "And if she doesn't get up and walk away - and stay away from people who are going to only hurt her in the end - then I will."

April sighed before she kissed him softly, feeling a moistness against his cheeks that she hadn't been able to see through the night light. Gently, she cupped his cheeks and attempted to stare into his eyes; when she nothing, except the darkness of the night, she knew he had shut down on her completely.

This discussion was over.

"Robert?"

"What?"

She sighed. "I wish there was something I could do to help you."

"Don't ever stop loving me."

April shook her head; even after earlier, when she wanted to walk away from him - she still loved him. She still wanted to wrap her arms around him and hug him tightly, whispering to him about how she would always be here no matter what he said or did. "I think I can do that."

He sighed, happy with her response, and rested his head gently beside her shoulder; his body was only inches away from her, waiting for her, so she slid her body against him so the only thing separating them was clothes. His arms wrapped around her tightly, as if he was afraid he was going to lose her, too - that one day he might be forced to walk away from her and he couldn't bear the thought of it. She wrapped her hands around his and sighed softly, hoping she would be enough to keep him grounded - because even though he wouldn't admit it, this would be the hardest thing he would ever do in life...leaving a girl he had promised he never would abandon.

April wanted to believe that he wouldn't do it, that he would do what he always did and help his sister pick up the pieces. She wasn't sure what was worse: his shattered faith and walking away or going back and opening himself to inevitable pain. Both would hurt him - irreparably - and she wasn't sure what was worse. April was so afraid to find out that she clutched his hands tighter and sighed heavily.

He only kissed the nape of her neck gently, as if it was habitual and he would do it the rest of his life - as if he knew what she was saying and he was whispering that it would be okay, that it would all be okay because he had her, and when he held her everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.


	7. Breaking Barriers

April woke up the next morning to find that he was still cuddling against her, his body warm underneath the comforter. She knew by his even breaths that he was still asleep. She was afraid to wake him, because he had to sleep a little bit longer and he hadn't gotten much sleep during the trip or last night, but she had to get up herself. As she tried to pry herself free of his grasp, she chuckled slightly when he pulled her tighter against him. So he wasn't asleep like she thought. April felt him smile against her neck and she whispered, "I have to go to work."

"No you don't. You can stay here in bed with me."

"I have obligations."

"Why are you whispering? I'm not asleep."

April shook her head. "I have residents and their interns and scheduling that need to be taken care of Robert."

"Screw the interns. Nothing you tell them will make a difference anyway. They'll still be dumb and stupid and they won't learn no matter how many times you tell them what's right."

"Robert."

He snickered. "Difference of professional opinion."

"Did you have that opinion of me when we first met?"

"Oh, no," he told her. In all honesty, he couldn't remember what he had first felt toward her - except that he walked in when she and Karev were attending to a patient and Karev had a hangover and was trying to get out of work. His first impression of her was that she was quiet, easily startled, and innocent - and none of his observations had proven false. But he didn't remember every considering her incompetent. In fact, the minute she had called him out in surgery that it was Karev's idea he had stolen, she had earned his respect and there was no dislike afterwards. "I never thought you were dumb and stupid and you never learned."

"Sure."

"No, really," he told her as he placed gentle kisses on her neck, smiling when he felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise. She was slowly becoming unnerved and he hoped soon she would be nothing but a puddle at his feet - and then she wouldn't even think about leaving the bed. "You were...different."

"Thank you...?"

He smiled. "That's a good thing, you know. A very good thing."

She only murmured as his kisses grew more fervent, open and wet and pleading as he begged for her to stay in bed with him. "We don't have time for sex."

"Who said anything about sex? Did I say anything about sex? No."

She scowled and then gasped softly when he hit the spot below her ear. She smirked when he snickered and continued to tease her. "I'm not in the mood for sex right now."

"That's the beauty about a build up of sexual tension," he whispered in her ear, running his hands down the curves of her body, smiling confidently when he saw her smirk.

"So you're going to be doing this all day long?"

"Well, not _this_, but yeah. Pretty much." Robert kissed her bare shoulder gently. "I'll steal kisses all day long - in times you don't expect - and I'll flirt and keep you on your toes all day long."

"Why?"

"Because I have a lot of making up to do," he answered, kissing her hand gently as it rested against his cheek.

"Robert, last night-"

"Was a mistake," he cut her off. "And I shouldn't have lashed out at you, and I'm sorry. You deserve more than that from me. And I hurt you - and no matter how many times you tell me that it's all right and you're okay - it won't change the fact that I hurt you. _That's_ not okay."

"You know," she turned so she was facing him, "I'd rather you use me as your punching bag every once and a while than yourself."

"And I'd rather you never see that side of me ever again." He'd rather never treat her like that again, like all the men who his sister dated. "Last night was not okay to me, April. Don't sit here and tell me that it was because it isn't, and I know that. Lashing out at you just because I was trying to protect myself from the truth...That needs to stop immediately."

April scowled. "How are you going to change something like that? Something that's so natural?"

"I think I need to...To find a different way to express how I feel about something and how I go about certain situations," he told her. "And...And it's going to be hard because I've used that maliciousness as a defensive mechanism ever since Lauren but...I can't do that with you. I can't be that person with you, April. I won't."

"What are you saying?"

"I think I might need to see someone to...to deal with everything and try to figure out a new way to go about how I handle things."

He said it so simply, like this had been on his mind for a while and their fight last night was the tipping point. "What? Like a therapist?"

He shrugged. "I suppose so."

April couldn't help but chuckle, and she only smiled when he scowled at her. "I'm sorry, I just...Someone like you, from your generation - or even the fact that you're a guy - it doesn't seem like you would accept therapy so openly or even be willing to think about it."

"I'd do anything for you."

She smiled and blushed slightly before she laughed. "Well, that's deep."

"You just ruined a perfectly good, romantic moment," he berated softly before he traced his fingers along her arm, letting them rest on her shoulder gently before he traced them back down to her wrist, his touch as light as a feather, barely touching her skin. "Way to go."

Her smile faded quickly as she brought up, "I, uh, I actually wanted to talk to you about last night."

Robert scowled instantly. "What?"

"Well..." She pulled her hands away from his and fidgeted slightly with a sigh before she looked back up at him. "I know you said that we would go on like nothing happened-"

"April."

"Just hear me out."

"April, I-"

"Please? Don't shut me down."

He sighed heavily before he rested his head against his pillow, staring at her gently. "One time, April. We talk about this once and then that's it."

"I think that you need to tell your sister how you feel. I...She needs to know that this is it otherwise she's just going to keep coming back and this exacty same thing is going to happen. You need to tell her that you're done for good," April told him. "Maybe...Maybe then she'll change."

"She won't change."

"Have a little faith."

"A little faith?" He snorted. "The only thing I have faith in is her broken promises - how she swears that this time is going to be the last time and then she finds herself in the hospital with bruises all over her body. Nothing I say will make her change."

"Robert-"

"You didn't get it, did you, when i said that I begged? I begged, April. I pleaded with her, tirelessly, and I begged her not to go back to whoever she was with. I am not a man that begs, April. I don't beg because I view that as a...a defamation of my self-respect. That begging for someone to do something is like giving my self-respect to them. And I don't give anyone my self-respect. But I did for her. I begged and pleaded and cried and nothing changed. _Nothing _changed. She just threw it back in my face like it was nothing."

April only stared at him, at the way he was opening himself to her. After a few moments of silence she quietly asked, "Do you regret it?"

"I'd do it all over again and I wouldn't change a thing," Robert told her truthfully. "Because she is my sister and that...our past are lessons learned. I've learned my lesson and recognized the wrong in my mistakes. I won't make the same mistake again, April. But I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change any of it."

"Because every experience - whether good or bad - is one you learn from?"

"Yes."

"And this experience with your sister...Is this where you learned how to build your barriers?"

"You know," he felt the need to touch her in some way so he began to gently stroke her cheek, "the first few times that she came to my doorstep, I was a mess. I wanted to kill the guy and make him feel an ounce of the pain that Rose was feeling. And it hurt me, a lot, to see her broken and there was nothing I could do to fix her besides stand by her. I thought the first time would be it. She'd learn her lesson and decide she wouldn't let any man treat her like that. But then it got worse. And as time passed, I grew to expect it. And time continued to pass and now you have this...You have me giving up on her because I just can't do this anymore."

"So, yes?"

"Yes," he answered truthfully - admitting it to himself as well as her for the first time. "I started building personal barriers with Rose. But I'm going to end them with you...at least, I hope. Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks."

"You're not old."

Robert only snorted in response. "Oh-kay."

April smiled before she suddenly turned serious, looking down at his hand as it gently caressed her bare arm, like all he cared about was touching her somehow, regardless of intention. She swallowed hard before she asked, "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Would you ever give up on me?"

Robert scowled and stared at her, at the way she looked away from when she asked the question - as if nothing would hurt her more than the answer that he would. April refused to look at him through their silence, and instead stared down at her hands, which twisted themselves together in her nervousness. Robert blinked a few times before he gently tilted her chin up so she was looking at him. He had never seen more fearful eyes from her before. And suddenly it was difficult to breathe. The words came out strangled as he asked, "How could you ever think that?"

"You did everything for your sister and you reached your limit with her. It..." She shrugged. "It makes me think that you might have a limit with me, too."

"April-"

"It would make sense, wouldn't it? I mean, your sister...That's someone you have to love but me...You could stop loving me. You could reach your breaking point and leave and never come back and-"

"April."

Though it was a simple word - her name - the strangled plea in his voice forced her ramblings to stop and her to look at him. His eyes were wide, as if she was hurting him with the assumption that he would leave her behind - for even thinking that he was capable of that. "Yeah?"

"The only way I would ever reach that point was if you cheated on me - repeatedly."

"Like Lauren?"

He shook his head. "No. Because Lauren...I left her. After the third affair I left her. I could never leave you. I...I love you more than I ever loved her, more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life. There's nothing you could do to push me away - to make me want to leave because even when sometimes I want to strangle you, I've never stopped loving you. I would never give up on you because if I gave up on you...that'd be like giving up on myself."

"And you're too much of a narcissist to give up on yourself?"

He returned her smile. "I guess you could put it like that."

She glanced past him at the digital clock on his nightstand. With a sigh, she kissed him softly and told him, "I really have to get ready for work."

"This was nice."

April nodded. "Yeah. We should definitely talk in bed more often."

He smiled slightly. "I'll talk to Rose, April. But that's the last time I'm going to talk to her, understand?"

"I do."

"Good." He kissed the bridge of her nose gently. "Now go get ready."

"Are you going to talk to her today?"

"I'm going to take her out to lunch, probably," Robert admitted after a moment. "You know, because I don't have to work tonight."

"Well, if you need to talk after lunch, you just page me. I'll meet you in your office or the on-call room."

"You know what's funny about that room? I think we're the only couple who doesn't have sex there."

"There's something about having sex somewhere that everyone else sleeps in that's unappealing to me," April told him. "I like our bed just fine. No one is here besides us. This is our spot, no one else's. So...We'll just talk, if that's what you need."

He smiled. "Okay."

"Besides," she added after a moment, "I don't like having sex somewhere where anyone can just walk right in. That's...That'd be mortifying."

"April?"

"Hm?"

"Go get ready."

"I'm actually content right where I am," April commented, loving his close proximity and that they shared the same bed again; she loved the feel of his breath against her neck, which reminded her of their lovemaking. She pushed the thought away quickly, however, because once that thought entered her head, it was like a drug; she needed it. And he was right, she had to get to work. But he was making it difficult with how he was rubbing her back beneath her pajama top, soothing as he placed soft kisses on her neck. "Honey?"

He only murmured in response.

"You need to stop."

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to be late for work."

"Oh, we have time."

"I..." He was making it hard for her to think. "I thought you said that we weren't going to have sex."

"We aren't."

She scowled. "So you're teasing me?"

"Think of it as an appetizer for what's to come," Robert told her with a slight nod. "You know, we haven't had make-up sex before."

"So?"

"They say make-up sex is the best kind."

"i thought make up sex was supposed to happen right after an argument," April commented softly. "So..."

He scowled. "Shut up."

"Don't tell me to to shut up."

"I'll tell you to shut up if I want to."

"No you won't."

Suddenly, he smiled. "You're trying to start an argument, aren't you?"

"No."

"I think you are."

"And I think you're delusional," she told him, shaking her head. "Because I'm not trying to start anything. I'm just trying to make you see the truth. Besides, I can't have make-up sex with you right now."

"Why not?"

"Because I have to go to work!" She pulled away when he tried to kiss her and smiled as she got out of bed. Standing at the side of the bed, her arms crossed, she asked, "Sucks when someone teases you doesn't it?"

He snorted as she walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She thought he was teasing her now? She hadn't seen anything yet. It amazed him, how they could go from bickering one night to loving the next morning, but that was how they operated. He would put up a wall and she would knock it down with an attack; she would put up a wall and he would knock it down with gentle tenderness. Though dysfunctional and odd, it worked for them. It took a lot to break his icy exterior, and it didn't take much for him to crack her fragile one. They meshed so perfectly that he was astounded by it.

After a few moments, he smiled. She most likely expected him to follow her and join her in the shower. Instead of giving in, he shook his head and fell back against the pillow once more, attempting to will himself to fall back asleep before she returned.

She must have known he was pretending to sleep because when she dressed and was about to leave, she leaned down and kissed his neck gently. He felt her smile against him as she whispered in his ear, "Two can play at that game."

Robert waited until she left to smile. Two certainly could play at that game. Today would be interesting, that was for sure. For the first time in a while, he was actually looking forward to going to work.


	8. I Love You More

**A/N: Anyone know how we get Robert Stark listed on the show's character list? Because there's quite a bit of fanfiction of them circling around (hopefully more in the future! And hopefully more on the show, too) I think he deserves a place on that list, too, because Rose (Derek's Rose) and Sydney Heron are there (I don't even know who she is).**

**Oh, and I'm not sure - but just to be safe - I'm giving this chapter an M rating. Just to be safe. It's not graphic or anything like that. It's more so precaution. **

Robert sighed heavily as he pulled off his scrub cap and began to run his hands under the cold water, getting them wet so he could lather them up with soap. As he continued to scrub he watched as the patient was wheeled away - a teenage girl who needed a knee transplant. Before he knew it, all the nurses were gone and he was alone in the room; he had yet to leave and he simply stared at the empty operating room, not wanting to move from here.

"How many times have you washed your hands?"

He turned from the sink and shrugged. "Just once."

April shook her head with a soft laugh and shoved her hands in her lab coat pockets as she leaned against the closed door, keeping her distance in case he made true on his promise. "It's almost noon."

"So?"

"So...Aren't you going to take your sister out to lunch?"

"After I get changed," Robert answered. "After I leave here I'm going to go get changed and then I'll...Then I'll take her out to lunch."

"You sure are taking your sweet time about it."

He glanced at her. "You have something to say?"

She smiled and advanced toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I just think you're trying to prolong the inevitable."

"Is there something wrong with that?"

April shrugged. "I can't say I blame you. I wouldn't want to want to go to lunch either, if I was you. But...I think you can't put this off. She deserves to know - even if it's going to hurt her."

Robert sighed and shook his head as he stared around the room. "I just don't want to go. I...Even though I have to do this, that doesn't mean it makes it easy."

"Are you rethinking it?"

"No. I rarely rethink." He smiled. "Like I said, you were the first person to change my mind in ten years. It's hard to change my mind."

"So you're still going to do it even though it's going to be hard?"

"Life is hard," he answered with a shrug. "If it was easy, it wouldn't be life."

"You should go."

"I'm content right here."

April tilted her head slightly to stare at him better, scowling gently. It was clear to her that he didn't want to go - he didn't want to face his sister and what she looked like and what he would have to tell her. April understood that; confrontation was hard and this confrontation - ending a lifelong relationship - was going to be one of the hardest confrontations he would have. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. I need to do this alone."

"Do you want a kiss for good luck?"

"Oh, yeah."

She kissed him softly and pulled away before he could trap her into something more deeper, passionate, to build up the sexual tension and to prolong going to see his sister. She only smiled at his somewhat disappointed face, knowing he understood what she had just done. "You need to go."

"One more kiss."

"No."

He smiled. "No?"

"Yes," April told him confidently. "No more."

"You aren't moving away." He smiled when she attempted to, but he kept her tight against him; he didn't want to let her go, especially now, when she seemed the only thing anchoring him to reality and sanity. He bent his head down slightly to kiss her again and laughed when she rejected his kiss by tilting her head so he met her cheek. "Rejected?"

April pulled away slightly enough so she could see his face; he wasn't upset, but a little amused. "No more."

He smiled before he kissed her cheek again, lingering for a moment as he breathed in her perfume. It was subtle, but enough to make him smile and want to kiss her again. Instead of kissing her cheek once more, he began to kiss a trail to her neck but froze when she put her hands on his chest and forcefully pushed him away. His face transformed from amusement to surprise as he stared down at her fiery eyes and asked, "You really are pushing me away, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Robert scowled. "You're putting your foot down?"

"I am."

He shrugged and kept his smile hidden to himself; he loved seeing a more assertive side of her sometimes, especially when it came to him. Because if she couldn't stand up to him - the man that she loved - than she couldn't stand up to any of the residents who were beneath her. "Do I get a goodbye kiss?"

"Are you going to leave right after?"

"Yes."

She kissed him and pulled away almost immediately - as if it was a quick peck. She smiled when he glared at her and shook his head. "Go talk to your sister, Robert. I'll...I'll be here if you need me afterward, okay?"

He breathed in deeply. "Wish me luck."

"You can do this."

He was glad she had faith in him, because he sure as hell didn't have any faith in himself right now.

* * *

><p>Robert had braced himself for everything and anything, but he knew he hadn't prepared well enough because the moment he saw Rose sitting in the tiny corner of the restaurant, he felt his heart strings dangerously pull tight. She had a bandage over her eye, a cast around her nose, and her left eye was turning black and blue. Regardless of what he had told April, she was his sister - and it still pained him to see her like this. Instinctively he wanted to run to her, to give her a big hug and tell her it was all going to be okay and that he wasn't going anywhere.<p>

But he had reached the final straw; it wasn't going to be okay and he was going anywhere that wasn't around her. As he neared her, the need to protect her diminished and the urge to scream at her only grew. Robert restrained himself, however, as he sat down in front of her. They both remained silent as they stared at one another - each unwilling to make the first move.

Finally, Rose said, "Hey."

Robert only blinked. "What happened this time?"

"Robert-"

"What happened this time?" He asked again, firmly. "Did he think that you did something wrong? Was it an argument? Was he high? What was it this time?"

"I met your girlfriend."

"You shouldn't have dragged her into this."

"I didn't even know she was a part of your life," Rose told him, an edge in her voice that matched his - because they knew how to push each other's buttons after all these years. "I showed up at your apartment expected _you _not a woman you're going to marry. She's nice."

"We aren't discussing her. We're discussing you."

"Are you this cold to her? Because if you aren't, I think she has a right to know that-"

"We are not discussing her," Robert cut her off angrily, stressing every word. "I want to know what happened with you. That's the important thing here. Not April, not what she has a right to know, not whether or not you like her. This is about _you_ and you letting your boyfriend beat the shit out of you."

"I didn't let him hit me."

"And next time?"

"What does that mean?"

"By staying with a man who you know is going to hit you is the same thing as letting him land a punch," he told her. "So you might not have seen it coming this time but next time-"

"There won't be a next time. The police arrested him for domestic disturbance."

"You think that'll be the end?"

Rose scowled. "You're trying to scare me?"

"This is supposed to scare you, Rose! Dating a man who beats you is supposed to be scary! But I guess you didn't learn that after your string of abusive relationships."

Her scowl darkened at his sarcasm. "You don't need to do with that with me."

"I think I do."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He figured it was now or never; if he didn't tell her the truth now, she was going to suck him back in and he wouldn't be able to breathe let alone run away. With a breath of confidence, he told her, "I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"This. Being here for you...I just can't."

"What does that mean?"

"I can't be here to catch you when you fall," he told her, his eyes turning blank in the pain of his words - that it had come to this.

"You're my brother."

The plea in her voice was enough to force him to look away. "And that's why I'm walking away."

"I don't understand."

"I can't sit by and watch you enter abusive relationship after abusive relationship. I'm done."

"So...What? You're saying that I can't come to you anymore? I can't rely on you when I'm in trouble?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"You're my brother!"

"And you're my sister," he answered. "And because I'm your brother I can't stand by and watch you enter another abusive relationship, get the shit kicked out of you, and then have you come running to me before you go back to him. I can't do that anymore. Seeing you like that that and you not doing anything about it...No. Just no."

"You don't have to be cold about it."

"Yes, I do." If he wasn't, he would never walk away from her; the barrier - the last one he hoped he would ever show personally - was up because if it wasn't, it would be like all the other times and he would take her in and allow himself more pain at the sight of his sister's mangled body. That, and he silently hoped that his coldness would be enough to pull her from this torture she was inflicting upon herself. Maybe this would be the final strike that she needed to walk away from all her abusive relationships and never walk back again. Maybe _him _walking away was what she needed all along to find the strength to walk away herself.

Even though he didn't believe, he hoped April was right; he hoped Rose would change and never again go for the men that were bad for her. Regardless, he wouldn't be there - he wouldn't come back to her unless she made the necessary changes. Robert was slightly afraid of the unknown, now, because if this didn't work - if she went back to a man that would abuse her - he wasn't sure he could take it because that...That just proved to him how little he mean to her.

He decided as he walked out of the restaurant, that meaning nothing to her was the worst pain she could ever put him through. And when he was fearing the unknown, the need to find his gravity was strong and only one woman was capable of giving him that, of making him feel whole, safe, and sane again.

He needed to find April.

* * *

><p>Robert found her - perhaps thirty minutes later - in the on-call room and as soon as he opened the door he knew something was wrong besides his confrontation with his sister. He scowled and closed the door as she turned from her side to face him, tears running down her face, her mascara blotchy and runny. All his desire to tell her about what happened vanished and he swiftly moved beside her, taking her in his arms before she could even explain what happened. His caress was gentle as he brushed aside her hair and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, gently wiping away the tears and mascara. Soon her face was clear except for the new onslaught of tears, but that was better than makeup.<p>

She sniffled, her breath heavy as she wrapped her arms around him. "How'd it go with Rose?"

He scowled and shook his head. "Don't you worry about that."

"You're not going to ask what happened?"

"I know what happened," he told her gently as he kissed her forehead and laid them back against the cot, turning to face her when she rolled back on her side. He half expected her snuggle her head against his shoulder, but was unbothered when she turned completely so he was forced to spoon against her if he wanted contact. After wrapping his arm around her waist, he rested his face against her neck, sighing softly. Robert was not surprised when she clutched his hands tightly, as if he was going to move away from her. After kissing her neck and feeling her sigh, he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay." He could hear her continue to cry softly and kissed her neck gently in response - his way of showing that he was still here. They laid there in silence - save her soft sobs - and he didn't mind laying here with her the rest of the day if that's what she needed.

"It was this old guy."

He didn't move though he couldn't see her face - and that was what he wanted to see the most; but he knew if he moved the slightest inch, her hands would lock against his because she feared he would move away from her completely. So he simply kissed her neck again in reply and asked, "What happened?"

"He came in here complaining of chest pains a few days ago and they wheeled him into surgery for open bypass surgery today. He died on the table."

"You developed a bond with him?"

"He reminded me of my grandfather," April answered, sniffling slightly. "I was _really _close to my grandfather."

"Yeah?"

She nodded slightly. "I called him 'Papa' and he would come over to my house every Sunday night and read me a bedtime story - sometimes he would tell me how he met my grandmother or life stories. I loved his stories and he_ always _smelled of peppermint candies. I used to hate the smell of peppermint candies and there were times when I begged him to find a different smell."

Robert chuckled. "Did he?"

"Yeah, but it didn't work. The peppermint smell was still there. And, God, I _hated_ it."

"And now you don't?"

"He died when I was seventeen," April answered after a moment. "And at his funeral I got this whiff of peppermint candies, and I lost it. It took years for me not to cry whenever I smelled it. And now...I don't cry anymore, but...It just reminds me of him. And the man - Mr. Newman - he smelled just like peppermint candies and he talked about his wife who died two years ago and how he met her and his life and..."

"You developed a bond with him," he finished for her when her crying overtook her speech. He sighed softly and kissed her neck gently as he whispered, "I'm so sorry, honey."

"I finally get it," she whispered back after a few moments of silence between them; her voice was cracked, as if the realization pained her to her soul. "Those professional barriers of yours."

"I wish you didn't have to. I wish..." He stopped before he told her that he wished her optimism would never die. Because that's who she was, an optimistic, perky, sappy surgeon who he wished he could shield from the horrors of losing patients close to her. He sighed. "I wish I could stop you from going through the things that I went through."

April scowled at his comment and rolled so she was facing him. Her face was frustrated, now, through her tears. "And what's wrong with you?"

"I'm the distant doctor who doesn't get involved and cuts off girls' legs," he told her with a shrug. "I know people don't like me and...It would kill me to see that happen to you because of what you're going through...It's a lot like what I went through with that kid and then with JJ. And now look at me."

"I don't understand."

"I want you to hang onto your optimism for patients and surgeries, forever, April," he told her. "Because what you are - that used to be me - and...And I'm not that anymore. And you can't turn into that, April. You can't."

"You know, I happen to love you."

"I don't."

She scowled and stared at him, at what professional obstacles and pain had forced him to become - a doctor who was distant yet effective, but he hated himself for it. After a few moments, she said softly, "I won't." April smiled gently. "You won't let me."

"Do you still want to talk about Mr. Newman?"

"Not really."

"Okay," he whispered with a nod, gently kissing the bridge of her nose, smiling when she blushed and looked away from him.

"But I do want to hear about how it went with Rose."

"I'd rather not talk about that, either," he told her, smiling when she looked up at him. "So...Are we just going to lay here?"

"I don't have to work anymore. My shift ended twenty minutes ago."

"So what are you still doing in your scrubs?"

April shrugged. "As soon as the surgery ended I came in here because I didn't want everyone to see me crying in the locker room. And I haven't moved since then and...And I don't want to."

"Well, that's all right. We don't have to."

"Do you have to start work soon?"

"In two hours. I can lay here with you until then," Robert whispered, fearing anything louder would scare her; besides, with their close proximity, there was no need for anything louder than a gentle whisper - and he wouldn't give this up for the world. "And then when I go to get my lab coat in the locker room, you can get changed and I'll walk you out to your car."

"Do you mind if I fall asleep?"

"Of course not." He gently pulled a stray hair away from her face. "You've had a long couple of days - no thanks to me."

She smiled softly and shook her head as she kissed his cheek gently. "Will you wake me up in an hour and a half? I don't want you to be late because of me."

"I'd do anything for you, you know that, right?"

"I do, and I appreciate that-"

He hushed her softly. "Go to sleep, April. I'll wake you up, I promise."

"What? You're just going to lay here and watch me sleep?"

He smiled and pulled out his smartphone from his pocket. After he set an alarm - which would be loud enough to wake her up because she was a heavy sleeper - he put the phone higher on the cot so it didn't blast right in their ears. "There. Now I'll sleep. Happy?"

"Much." She didn't say anything else as she rolled back over so her back was against him, and sighed happily when he wrapped his arm around her protectively. "I'm sorry about this, Robert."

"Shh, don't be," he whispered gently - knowing the only way to soothe her pain right now would be to simply lay here with her. "Just sleep."

"I won't be able to sleep tonight."

"I'll exhaust you later." He smiled when she gave a small laugh which was almost a snort. "We'll talk all about today later, anyway."

"What if someone walks in?"

"We're engaged," he answered simply. "I don't care who walks in. Besides, it's not like this is a post-coital spoon. We're simply laying here."

"Robert?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you more."

Ten minutes had passed before he was certain that April had fallen asleep. Her breath was steady, not uncontrolled like it had been when she was awake and crying - that, at least, was a relief. He sighed gently, afraid that any small movement would wake her. However, before he could fall asleep like she had wanted, the door to the on-call room opened. He scowled darkly and tilted his head to look at their intruder, who was surprised to find other people in the room. "Be quiet."

Arizona put her hands up in surrender and slowly shut the door. "Is she asleep?"

He nodded at her whisper.

"Mind if I sleep on the cot over there?"

He turned his head to look at the cot adjacent to them and shrugged. "You can sleep, if you want. I might fall asleep eventually, too, before my shift."

Arizona only nodded as she slid into the cot, positioning her head so it was near his in case he wanted to talk about something. It certainly made it easier for him, as he rolled on his stomach and stared at her. She gave him a soft smile and asked, "How are you?"

"I've definitely been better."

"What happened?"

"A personal situation," he answered simply and scowled when she raised her eyebrows, clearly waiting for more of an explanation that she - as a friend - deserved to know. He sighed after a moment and told her, "My sister came into town and she's had a string of bad relationships and I'm done picking up the pieces for her."

"So...You're done with her?"

"Until I know that she won't have abusive relationships anymore, yes," Robert answered, his tone matter-of-fact, glad that didn't surprise her anymore. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No."

He smiled. "Yes you do."

"Well it's not my life, is it?" She smiled when he raised an eyebrow at her. "Robert, I am a lesbian."

"Really? I didn't know that."

"Shut up," she told him with a roll of her eyes. "My point is: I have been judged for my personal views and I _hate _it when people judge me for it. Absolutely despise it when people are judgmental. So it doesn't make sense for me to judge you for your personal decisions if I hate it myself. That's a double standard, my friend. Besides, as your friend, it's my job to support you and tell you when you're wrong - but support you anyway. It's not my job to judge you. That's God's decision."

"If I go to Hell, it's not because of what I'm doing with Rose."

Arizona chuckled. "No, it won't be."

"I'm going to let you sleep," Robert told her after a moment.

"You're just saying that so you can sleep."

"So?"

She laughed again and shook her head, conceding, "All right. I just have one more question for you."

"Shoot."

"Is she going to be all right?" Arizona motioned toward April when he gave her a confused stare.

Robert sighed. "She'll be fine - I hope."

"She's lucky to have you," Arizona commented after a moment, smiling; she couldn't see him now because she was staring at the ceiling, but she knew he was smirking.

"No."

"No?"

He shook his head. "I'm the lucky one."

"Yeah?

He nodded. "She keeps me grounded - makes me realize there's more to life than surgeries and crankiness and being mean to everyone. She has this way about her...maybe it's her optimism and her hope and her perkiness but...She makes me feel alive - and I haven't felt that in _years_."

"Are she and I the only two people who have seen this side of you - at least professionally?"

He nodded. "And it's going to stay that way, too."

Arizona tilted her head to look at him - to see his reaction - as she asked, "She really makes you feel alive?"

"Oh, yeah."

She smiled and asked, "Have you told her that?"

"Oh, she knows."

"She makes you feel alive." The response was more so a content comment than a question, as if she wasn't in disbelief anymore but she liked the sound of the comment. She laughed slightly and shook her head. After a few moments, she told him, "Get some sleep, Robert. I'll see you when you wake up."

"Sweet dreams."

Arizona laughed. "I think you'll have much better dreams."

He snorted. "Not with you here, I won't."

"Oh, you can't wake up and have sex?"

"That's not going to happen anyway," Robert told her. "She - rightfully so - is uncomfortable with having sex in this room because she's afraid someone's going to walk in on us. So, no, regardless if you were here or not, we won't be having sex."

"Bummer."

"It's all right." He smiled. "Later will make up for it."

* * *

><p>Robert woke April up gently an hour and a half later - as she requested - because he was only able to sleep for an hour. By now, Arizona had left to meet Callie and Sophia and they were alone again in the on-call room. He was thankful that no one else had stopped in because he was certain if it was anyone besides Arizona, they'd be receiving an angry look from him. He smiled as he watched her wake up, kissing her temple gently before she rolled on her back with a groan. "Hey."<p>

She stretched slightly, arching her back with a groan before she settled back down on the cot. "How long was I out for?"

"Hour and a half."

"Just like you said."

He scowled and scoffed, pretending to be offended. "Have I ever lied to you before, April?"

April paused to think. "I don't think so." She smirked at his face which feigned offensive, like she had told some heinous lie about him."What?"

"I think the only thing that could make that accusation hurt just a little less-"

"Besides taking it back and telling you how amazing you are?"

"Yes, besides that," he told her, smiling before he continued, "I think the only way to make me feel better would be a kiss."

"A kiss?"

He nodded.

"Like this?" She gave him a quick peck, smiling when he shook his head. With a soft shake of her head, she leaned in to kiss him again, surprised by his swift actions as he quickly took control of the kiss. She hadn't expected anything so passionate from him before she realized that this was the first time that they kissed - _really_ kissed - since their fight the night before. And God, he had been right. Though they had yet to have make up sex, if it was anything like the way he kissed her now...She was half tempted to have him lock the door so no one could intrude because if he kept kissing her like this - like it had been years since he had kissed her - she was certain they'd be having that make up sex right here.

And for the first time in her life, she didn't care; she just wanted him, all of him, especially the with way he sweetly made love to her like it was the last thing he would ever do. Simply the thought of him sent her blood racing and unfortunately, it went straight to her head.

Soon all rationale was back - simply because he had stopped kissing her and was now running his hands over her body - and she put her hands on his shoulders, pushing herself away gently until there was distance between them and her back was gently touching the wall. "Robert."

The plea in her voice made him glance at her with a slight scowl. "You all right?"

April shook her head and knew his hands would immediately fall from her body because - even though they had been together for almost a year now - he still froze whenever she indicated to him that something that he was doing didn't make her feel good or uncomfortable. "I don't think we should be doing this...here...now."

"I'm sorry."

She scowled at the surprise - perhaps even a mixture of pain - in his eyes and told him quickly, "And it's not because I don't want to - or want you - because I do, I really _really _do, It's just..."

"No, I get it. It's the on-call room. Anyone could walk in at any time and that could be mortifying. I get it, I really do. You don't want someone walking in because, hell that would be-"

She stopped by kissing his suddenly. Pulling away after a few moments, she whispered, out of breath, "That sounds really hot?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"The idea of getting caught." She chuckled softly at her own words, at how the sudden shift was caused because of how fervently he had kissed her and how considerate he was despite being together for as long as they were. It was enough to send her over the edge, and that's what was happening here. "And not being with you for almost a week and our fight and today and your sister and my patient and make up sex and...Just go lock the door so we can have sex. Please."

"April-"

"Please."

"We can't have-"

"Yes we can!" She whimpered softly. "We can if you go lock that door and come back here. The longer you talk about it the less time we have. Please!"

Robert wasn't sure what had come over him - maybe it was the same thing that had taken over her - but he obliged within seconds of her plea and was back in bed, kissing every place of bare skin he could find - removing clothes just so he could hear more of her deep, guttural moans because she missed his touch as much as he missed hers. Before things escalated too far, however, he heard her whisper, "I missed you."

He couldn't help but smile. "I missed you more."

"Prove it."

Robert laughed softly. "I will."


	9. Keep Me Off the Brink

"I just want to cuddle!"

"No, you don't!"

He groaned and hit the pillow when she moved from the bed frustrated. Propping himself up on his elbow, he scowled and watched her walk into the bathroom. "April, come on! What are you doing?"

"Taking a shower."

He scowled when she slammed the door. Minutes passed, and when he heard the shower start, he sighed heavily and fell back against the pillow. "I just wanted to cuddle, damn it!"

The door suddenly opened and he saw her, fully clothed, a fiery look in her eyes. "You did not."

Robert sighed when the door slammed again. Sliding off the bed, he moved toward the door and leaned against the frame - because if she opened it again, he didn't want to fall on top of her after he lost his balance. "Come on, April! Let's just...talk about it!"

The door opened suddenly and she was surprised to see him there.

He smiled and - before she could move away - wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her out of the bathroom back onto the bed, chuckling as she clung to him as if he would let her fall to the floor. He laughed slightly when she only scowled at him. "What would be so wrong about wanting to more than cuddle, anyway? You've never objected in the past."

"We already had sex today."

He snorted. "So?"

"So I'm tired."

"From sex?"

"No, it's been a long day," April told him. "You know, with everything, and I'm just...I'm not in the mood. It's not you, really it's not. It's just..."

"You're not in the mood?"

"Yeah."

"Well why didn't you just say that to begin with?"

"Because you didn't want to have sex and I didn't want to break your heart completely so I lied to you about and this is just like when I gave you the just friends speech because you saw right through my lie like you saw through it just now and-"

"You're rambling."

"I'm a rambler."

"And normally I love that about you-"

"But right now it's a little irritating?"

"Just a little bit."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Irritating enough that you don't want to have sex?"

He sighed. "Sure. But, you know, I didn't want to have sex with you in the first place. I just wanted to cuddle."

"Please, that's what they all say."

"Have I _ever _said that to you or not been completely honest with you? If there's one thing I'm not good at April - that you should know by now - it's subtlety."

"You're very subtle at work."

"Oh, yeah, but on the inside I'm dying." He smiled when she rolled her eyes. "Do you know how hard it is not to touch you? Not to kiss you or flirt and be strictly professionals? It's exhausting."

"Oh, good, so you're too tired for sex, then?"

"We aren't having sex!"

"Well, I'm glad we reached that agreement," she answered perkily as she shoved him aside.

Robert scowled and laid back against the bed as he watched her bounce out of the room. With a sigh, he got up and followed her out into their living room and finally the kitchen where she was busy pulling something from the fridge. He only sighed and stared at her carefully as she took deliberate time to drink a glass of water. Finally, when she had set the glass in the sink, he informed her, "When you're finished in here stalling, I'm going to be in the bedroom."

"So?"

"Well, since we're not having sex, we have two options. Would you care to hear them or are you not going to come to bed until you're certain that I'm asleep?"

April thought for a moment before she asked, "What are my options?"

"We could watch a movie or we can talk."

"Talk?"

"About your day and my day," he answered, smirking slightly when she looked at him, surprised. "Yes. I will talk to you about my day if you talk to me about your day, too."

"Really?"

He nodded. "I'm not a cold bastard. I do have feelings and you know, it does help to talk about them sometimes. That's the whole reason why I'm beginning therapy in a couple of days with Dr. Wyatt."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"Huh."

Robert scowled and crossed his arms, not saying a word as he walked away from her - back into the bedroom. He was certain moments had passed before she finally walked into the room to find him sitting on the bed, his back against the headboard. Arms still crossed, he stared at her before he patted the pillow beside him, smirking softly. "Pull up a headboard, darling."

"You're really going to talk about it?"

"Yes."

She gave him a soft smile before she jumped in bed beside him, leaning against the headboard like he was. Her actions mirrored his perfectly as she crossed her arms and stared at him, exactly how he stared at her. If his face wasn't so serious, she was certain she would have laughed. Instead of doing that, she took his hand gently in hers and began to caress his thumb gently with her own. "I'm here, when you're ready."

"You're not pushing?"

April shook her head. "I learned my lesson the last time I pushed you to talk about it."

Robert scowled. "I'm sorry about that, really I am. I...I wish there was some way I could make that up to you...to make up every horrible way that I treated you."

"You are right now."

He scowled again, confused. "How?"

"It takes a lot to admit that you're wrong," April answered with a shrug. "And...And a lot of people can never admit fault and for you to be able to do that, to admit your fault in how you treated me when you're pigheaded and stubborn about almost everything and think you're always right...That speaks volumes."

"See, that might be enough for you, but it isn't for me."

"And that's where therapy comes into play?"

"Exactly."

"I don't want you to do that for me, Robert, I-"

"I'm not doing it for you," he told her with a shake of his head. "I'm doing it for me. I have to do it for me, anyway, because it won't work if it's for anyone else. It's like overcoming addiction; you can't do it for the sake of someone else, you have to do it for the sake of yourself."

"Well, then I'm glad."

"You will be, too, when you discover that I'm going to try my hardest not to snap or insult you or react with sarcasm. I'm going to try, April, really I am."

"I know," she told him softly. "I believe you."

"Good."

"So..." April had to change the subject, the raw intensity in his eyes becoming too much for her that she needed to change the subject. "Tell me about what happened with Rose today."

"I went to meet her at this restaurant for lunch," Robert answered with a shrug before he laughed softly. "And I almost couldn't do it. I saw her sitting there - in the shape she was in - and like that I forgot about everything I wanted to say and I just wanted to run to her and tell her that I'd always be here for her because she's my baby sister and it killed me to see her like that. And I'd do anything in my power to help her."

"But you didn't?"

"No, I didn't."

April could hear the guilt in his voice, the feeling that he had somehow betrayed his sister and himself. She scooted closer beside him and rested her head against his shoulder, sighing softly when he kissed her head gently. "That doesn't mean you did anything wrong, Robert. Maybe..."

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe by walking away, you are doing everything in your power."

He scowled. "What do you mean?"

"Well, the hardest thing you'll ever have to do is walk away - and since that might be what it takes for her to realize how bad this has gotten -maybe you're doing everything you can to help her. Because before you just stitched her up and gave her a place to stay. Now...Now you're making her face reality - face that this isn't just affecting her - and she could see what she's missing. Maybe by walking away, she'll finally see that it kills you to see her like that. Maybe she'll change and see that she can't live like this anymore. Maybe...Maybe there's still hope out there. Because at least you're figuring this out - and hopefully helping her to see it, too - before it's too late."

Robert had a feeling that she wasn't just talking about his situation with his sister. "Hey."

"Yeah?" She didn't look up, but stared at the television screen that hung on their wall.

"You all right?"

"Yeah."

Her slight sigh - which he only recognized from the soft shift in her body - made him scowl. "Liar."

"Yeah."

He was worried when she sighed again, so worried that he gently moved so he was staring at her, completely. She was close to tears, her body stiff, and he knew this man's death was eating her alive; he had seen the same look reflected in his eyes when he lost JJ. There was nothing he wanted more than to take her in his arms, but he only took her hands and forced her to look at him. "You want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"You can't keep stuff like this in."

"I know...Just not right now, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed quietly with a soft sigh, moving so he was holding her again. He could feel her even breaths as she rested her head against his shoulder but he knew on the inside nothing was steady; everything was ragged and hurt in her soul. As he gently kissed her hair, he knew, knew that today he had lost a part of her that he would never get back. What scared him the most was that she had lost what made her who she was. He didn't want to think that her optimism was slowly dying but he couldn't hide from the truth. And there was nothing he could do to save her, nothing he could do to bring her back from the brink - to save her from what had pushed him over the edge - except to hold her and hope that this wasn't it...That he was wrong and she would always stay the same - that she wouldn't become just like him.

"Honey?"

"Yeah?" She didn't move - he wasn't even sure she had breathed.

"I love you."

"I know."

And there was the truth, and he couldn't hide from it - but right now, he sure as hell wouldn't embrace it. Robert was certain he could still pull her back from the brink, as she had done for him in regards to JJ. And if his certainty ever faltered, he would die trying because that optimism and hope and perkiness was her. He couldn't imagine April without that - didn't want to imagine her without that. She made him a better man, brought out the best in him, and there was no way he was going to watch the woman he loved walk down the same path he had years ago.


	10. Catch 22

"You don't say much, do you Dr. Stark?"

"No. I'm a man of...few words."

"Somehow I doubt that."

He smiled softly and looked at her. "Dr. Wyatt, you don't know anything about me."

"Well," she tapped her pen against the clipboard, "why don't you tell me why you're here? That might give me some understanding of who you are."

He crossed his arms and gave her a scowl. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

"So what do you want to talk about?"

Robert sighed softly and stared up at the tiled ceiling. "You know, it's funny."

"What is?" Her gaze was glued on him, on the man who sat before her who had said he needed therapy and was willing to talk but now was shutting down on her - which spoke to her more than if he had told her everything in his soul. His silence, the way he avoided the subject, made her realize that his pain was becoming a burden too great that he was finding it impossible to crawl out from under it before it crushed him. This - therapy - was his plea to all humanity to reach their hands under the boulder and pull him out, to save him from himself before his pain killed him.

"The tiles," he remarked, tracing the lines with his eyes. "They all have their own purpose up there and they hold the entire floor in place. If one falls, it is the only one. None of them fall with it."

"Is that how you feel?"

"What?"

She blinked when he stared at her, his eyes confused - and perhaps surprised. "That if you fall no one else is going to fall with you? No one is going to care enough?"

Robert scowled and turned his head back up to the ceiling. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Dr. Wyatt nodded as he dismissed the subject. "Why are you here, Dr. Stark?"

"Robert."

"I beg your pardon?"

"My first name is Robert," he answered, staring up at the tiles like they were the only thing anchoring him to the ground - like he was so light in this room that he would float to the stars and never come back down...because up there it was so beautiful and down here - down in the recesses of his torment - it was so ugly that his only escape was dismissal and denial that the problems which waged war with his heart even existed. "Everyone calls me Dr. Stark at work."

"Well, we are at work."

"Yes, but _I'm _not working."

"Ah, I see. So would you prefer I call you Robert?"

"Yes."

"Well, Robert, if we're going to be informal with one another, you can call me Katharine," Dr. Wyatt told him. "Because therapy is fairly personal. And doctor...That's so impersonal. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes."

Katharine nodded. "So, Robert, why are you here?"

"Because my fiancee deserves better. Because I was a dick."

Katharine stared at him for a moment before she asked, "And who is it in you that she doesn't deserve?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Well, people are multi-faceted, Robert, just like the different types of fish in that tank behind you." She knew he hadn't noticed it because he tilted his head backwards and took in the fish with a scowl. "And just because one part of you is - what did you say, a dick? - because part of you is like that, doesn't mean that's who you are."

"You got that from forty-five minutes?"

"And from years of experience, Robert."

He breathed out through his nose softly. "She deserves better."

"And what about you? Don't you deserve better?"

"Better than her?" He snorted. "There is no better - no one that I would love or have ever loved more."

"No," she told him with a shake of her head, "don't you deserve better than to treat people terribly?"

"Like...for my own personal self?"

"Yes."

"Maybe." He shrugged. "I don't know. Isn't that what therapy's all about? Changing yourself?"

"Not always," she told him. "Sometimes it's about recognizing problems and figuring out how to deal with them. Sometimes it's just about talking about your issues to a third party who is unbiased and non-judgmental, who can help by at least listening. Sometimes that's all people need: a place to lay their voice when they feel the entire world has rejected them. Besides, you can't change unless you're open to change."

"I want to change._" _He shook his head. "I _need _to change."

"And you're open to change?"

"I have to be."

"It'll take time, Robert."

"I don't have time. I can't...I can't keep treating April the way I've been treating her. That'll hurt her and me and us and...That needs to end."

"If you don't give your heart time, Robert, nothing will change. It takes time to change and can't be done overnight. Your heart needs time to heal and rebuild." Seeing that he was thinking about getting up and walking out, she quickly added in reassurance, "And we can use baby-steps. Change is a slow process but it can happen - if you give yourself time and space to heal. You think you can do that?"

Robert sighed. "God I hope so."

"You're scared to change?"

"No," he answered softly after a moment, "I'm scared of what I'll become - what I'll lead April to become - if I don't change. And...I can't bring her down with me. It's one thing to self-destruct, but to take her with? That's unforgivable. That's...She's so beautiful and wonderful and deserves all the happiness in the world."

"And you're afraid she doesn't have that with you?"

"I need to change."

"And you're willing to change?"

He nodded. "Because that's what you do for the people you love. You do anything you can for them - everything in your power - and pray that it's enough."

"You sound very steadfast and loyal."

"I thought I was. And then..."

"Then what?" Katharine knew by his silence that this was over - that he was choosing to dismiss whatever it was which attempted to claw its way out. She only sighed and stared at him, as he stared at the ceiling tiles, and knew that this would indeed take time. Before he shut down on her completely, she asked, "Will I be seeing you in three days?"

"What?"

"We're going to meet every three days, correct?"

"If no emergencies happen, yes."

"Good."

Robert stared at her carefully for a moment, eyeing her response, as if he was trying to search for any possible hidden meaning. When he found himself powerless to detect one, he crossed his arms and stared up at the ceiling times. A few moments later, he removed his shoe and threw it up at the tile, watching the tile fall to the floor.

It fell alone.

Katharine inspected him closely. "Were you hoping to hit two birds with one stone?"

"If I'm not careful I'll take two down at the same time, when only one should come down."

She took note of his present tense and nodded slowly, once, before she took his his steady gaze; though it was calm and steadfast, she saw something indescribable in his eyes, like watching the tile fall alone brought him both pain and pleasure, sadness and joy. "It's funny, isn't it?"

"What?"

"How when we fall we don't want to do it alone but then again, if someone falls with us, that means they bear the same pain and knowing that...It just makes you want to fall alone. It's like a...catch-22. You lose regardless."

"I can't lose her."

"Would you be willing to lose yourself in the process? Do you think April would want that?"

"No. She would hate that."

"So then what do you want to do?"

Robert looked away from the tiles and tilted forward so he was staring at his therapist, at the woman who seemed to know more about him than he knew about himself after only close to an hour of silence. He sighed softly before he nodded slowly. "It's going to take time. But...But it's worth it."

"Okay."

Her simple tone should have bothered it, but it was soothing. "I'll see you in three days then?"

"Yes."

"And you're expecting me to talk then?"

"No."

He scowled. "No?"

"Yes," she answered with a soft nod. "You'll talk when you're ready, Robert. And I'll be here until that time. And we'll sit here in silence until then, if that's what you need and if that's what it takes."

He smiled. "Okay."


	11. Match Made in Heaven

**A/N: Sorry for such a long wait since the last update. It's uncharacteristic, I know. It only happened because I kind of lost steam for this story (writer's block and I wasn't really sure where this story was going to head in the short run) and now it's back again, so I'm hoping to update a lot sooner now that I have a gameplan.**

"How'd it go?"

Robert looked up from his book to find his fiancee leaning against the doorframe, her long hair pulled back in a tight pony from work. He smiled at her softly. "Honey, you look exhausted."

April only shook her head as she walked into their bedroom and fell in bed beside him, laughing softly when he rolled so he was facing her. "I've had better days, that's for sure."

"What happened?"

"It was just a long day," she admitted. "No one was listening and everyone thought they could do whatever the hell they wanted just because they're interns and they're cocky - God, they are confident. Do they not realize that someone could die? They could make a mistake - miss a step - and someone could die. And I told them that...and they didn't even care! They just ignored me like they're all high and mighty and holier than me. I just...It makes me want to scream."

"So scream."

April frowned. "Don't you think that'll hurt your ears?"

Robert shrugged. "It'll help you, won't it?"

'I don't know," she answered after a sigh. "I just...I'm really glad to be home."

He smiled. "I'm glad you're home, too."

"So..." She reached out to gently rub his arm. "How did therapy go today?"

"I didn't say much."

April laughed. "You're not a man of many words with people who you're not comfortable with, honey. Did you say anything to Dr. Wyatt at all, or was it just silence?"

"First forty-five minutes was silence."

She snorted. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"And did that help...?"

"The last fifteen minutes helped," Robert told her honestly. "I spoke the last fifteen minutes."

"Yeah?"

He smiled at her optimism. "But I still have a lot of work ahead of me. None of this is going to be solved in one session, you know."

"I know."

"I have another appointment in three days."

April knew by his concern for the schedule that he didn't want to talk about his therapy session anymore; a man of few words, indeed, she thought to herself. But, as long as he was talking to someone, she was content. It was better to talk to someone - even if that someone wasn't her (and was a professional) - than talk to no one at all. "Well, I have news for you."

"You do?"

"My, uh, my dad's birthday is next week and they're throwing a big thing because it's his sixtieth birthday and I checked both our schedules and we aren't working. So..."

"You want to go out to Colombus?"

"Yes."

"And...And have me meet your family?"

"Yes." She smiled and chuckled softly. "You don't want to meet them? Because, honey, you're going to have to meet them eventually."

"No...I know I will. It's just..."

"What?"

"Do you really think now is the best time to go? What with starting therapy and everything and I don't want to take any time off and-"

"We're only going to be there for two days, three tops, Robert. You won't miss any therapy, I promise."

Robert looked away from her and down at his hands with a shake of his head. "I, uh, I don't think that's going to be a good idea."

"I just told you-" Apriil stopped. "You don't want to meet my family, do you?"

"No, of course I do." He didn't like how her voice had changed from optimistic to slightly hurt - perhaps even a little irritated at the thought because, after all, she had given him so much and after all they had been through, the least he could do was meet her parents. They were engaged, after all. It was only a matter of time before he met her family. Robert heard her argument in his head and sighed. "It's not that I don't want to meet them because I do-"

"So then what's the problem?"

"I'm not really 'meet the family' material," he answered after a moment, his voice soft as if the thought bothered him, because there was nothing he wanted more than for her entire family to like him.

April stared at him, surprised. She rolled on her side so she was facing him and frowned when he refused to look at her for a few moments. Finally, when he had summoned the courage, she gently took his hand. "You are meeting the family material, Robert."

"Yeah."

"You don't believe me?" She chuckled. "You were perfectly fine with Kimmie when she came to visit. You made quite an impression on her, too. You'd do great with the others."

"Even your dad?"

"My-" She stopped and smiled, her grin like a child in the candy store. "You're worried my dad won't like you?"

"Something tells me he won't take too kindly to the age difference betwen us," Robert told her after a moment. "Or the fact that we're dating. Fathers don't necessarily like their daughters' boyfriends at first."

"He'll grow to like you, if he doesn't at first, I promise. My dad...He's really easy-going."

"Right, to you, his daughter. But to his daughter's fiancee? I don't think the welcome will be so warm."

"So...You don't want to go because you're afraid of what my dad is going to say?" April shok her head and called him out on it, like she would - and had - done professionally, "You've never worried about what anyone was ever going to say before, Robert. Never. Especially when it comes to our age difference."

"This is different."

"Because it's my family."

"And...Your family's opinion means a lot, April. I...I know people whose family's opinion means the world to them, and if their family doesn't approve then-"

"Whoa, back up." She paused before asking, "You're worried that I'm not going to marry you - to stop loving you - because of what my parents say? I'm not the same person I was a few months ago, Robert. People's words don't bother me anymore."

"Really?" Robert looked up at her, hopeful.

April nodded before she smiled. "Yes, really. Besides, my family has really been the only people I've been able to stand up to my whole life - until I met you, of course. And that's because I knew no matter what I said or did, they'd love me anyway. They wouldn't turn away from me because I had an opinion different from theirs."

"I guess then we were destined to be, huh?" He shook his head with a laugh. "I like people who can stand up to me and you like poeple who you can stand up to, too."

"Match made in heaven."

Robert chuckled. "So when are we going to meet your family?"

"Next week."

"And you're sure neither of us have work?"

"Positive. I took the time off today, and when you go to work tomorrow morning, you can make sure to take the time off, too. That way it's for sure."

"You think the hospital can handle itself without the Chief Resident and Chief of Pediatric Surgery?"

"I think it'll manage just fine. And," she added perkily, "it's on the weekend so you for sure won't have an appointment with Dr. Wyatt."

"You just plan out everything, don't you?"

She smiled. "You know it."


	12. Baby Steps

**A/N: I have to admit that I really like this chapter a lot because it really delves into Robert's inner self, all his emotions that we haven't seen yet, and his insecurities (because in my opinion, despite his icy exterior, he's scared like everyone else and he has fears that haunt him, too). The stuff that comes out in this chapter will rear its ugly head again sometime down the road (because it wouldn't be a Grey's fanfic without drama eventually, right?).**

Robert didn't like the way she stared at him like she was about to maul him for some unforgivable discretion. He scowled slightly and crossed his arms, defensively, which only caused her stare to harden.

"You don't want to meet her parents?"

He sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair as he stared up at the ceiling. "It's not that I don't want to meet her parents. It's just..." Robert sighed again. "I do. I want to meet them, really. There's nothing I'd like more than to meet her family and get to know that side of her."

"But...?"

Robert twisted his hands together slightly - a mechanism he learned from April, it seemed - as he asked her in a quiet voice, "What if I'm not good enough?"

That stunned her, especially from him and the rumors she had heard around the hospital. Dr. Wyatt had to make sure she wasn't dreaming and had, in fact, heard him correctly. "I beg your pardon?"

"What if I'm not good enough?" Robert repeated, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Because...It's one thing to be at work. At work I'm one person and the chief of peds and I am good at my job and love my job and people respect me when they want to. I'm good at my job. Great at it, actually. I hadn't lost a patient in such a long time before JJ and I'm just good. I wouldn't be here at Seattle Grace _still _after Arizona came back if I wasn't good. If I wasn't _great_. I'm a great surgeon, and a great doctor."

"If you're so confident in the workplace - narcissistic, even - then why doesn't that transfer over into your personal life? Why aren't you that confident that you're great?"

"Because it's April."

Dr. Wyatt frowned and looked down at her clipboard before she told him, "I don't understand, Robert."

"I am a different person personally than I am professionally. Professionally I am calm, confident, and unworried. I'm mean and cruel and a heartless wretch, but I'm effective and I get things down and I don't suger-coat for _anyone_. I'll tell you like it is and I won't ever apologize for the way I do things." He paused. "And personally - with April - it's like I find myself on a totally different planet. And I'm not a cold heartless wretch anymore. I'm this guy who's in love with this amazing girl who totally doesn't deserve me - who deserves better than me - and every day I am so grateful that I'm the person she loves because she could have anyone. She's so beautiful and wonderful and she's constantly alert. She loves people to every depth of her soul, loves them more than herself sometimes, I think. And she won't tell you like it is sometimes because the last thing she wants to do is hurt you. And I can't be this confident jackass with her because that's not how I feel around her."

"And how do you feel around her?"

"It's not that I'm not confident. I just...I can't be a jackass. I try so hard not to be because God, she deserves so much better than that. And she knows it."

"And you're afraid that one day you're going to slip and she's going to walk away?"

He didn't answer, and instead looked down at his hands - which expressed more than if he had answered.

Dr. Wyatt straightened in her chair, as if the movement would emphasize her point. "Everyone makes mistakes, Robert. Everyone...In a relationship people hurt each other. It's just a part of life." She paused when she knew he was taking in her words but they hadn't completely entered his soul yet. "People hurt each other. And you and April, you're going to hurt each other. That's inevitable."

"I don't want to hurt her _so _much," he said after a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"We got in a big fight our last fight. Like...A big one."

"Most couples have that kind of fight at least once in their relationship, sometimes more than once. It's completely normal."

"But what I did to her...It wasn't okay."

"Is that why you're here? To rectify whatever it was you've done wrong?"

"I can't keep treating her like that," he answered softly. "I treated her terribly, and there is no excuse for it no matter how much I wanted to justify it to myself. There is no excuse. And...And I'm so worried that none of this is going to help and I'm not going to change and she's...She's going to walk away. I don't think I could handle that."

"Why don't you tell me what happened?"

Robert sighed. "It's a long story."

"We have an hour."

"I went on a fishing trip." The quickness of his answer indicated to Dr. Wyatt that he needed to tell someone about this, and this was quite possibly the first - and only - time he would share such sensitive information. "And halfway through the fishing trip I get a call from April saying that my sister is there, bloody and beaten from her latest boyfriend."

"Your sister?"

"That's not the focal point of my story," he told her firmly, almost immediately after her question. "The point is that I said no. I said I didn't want to deal with it and her and all the strings of bad relationships she had because I've been the one to pick up the pieces. And what does my sister do? She goes and she finds another man. She finds someone else who she thinks loves her but really only wants her for drugs or sex or wants to use her as a punching bag. And I've been doing this for years. _Years! _And I've had enough. I have a good life, I'm engaged to a woman that loves me and I love her and for once in my life I am _happy_."

He chuckled and threw his hand up in the air, his eyes sparking as he continued, "And when she accepted my proposal, suddenly there wasn't a reason to be mean anymore. I could go to work and feel content because I got to see her face and know that every night when I went to bed, she'd be there. _The world suddenly made sense_. Like I had everything I could ever want and there was nothing else I could ever need. I would wake up and smile for no other reason than that girl - that quirky and perky girl - was the person who I woke up beside very morning, because I loved her more than I would ever love anyone else. And we worked perfectly. In our oddball way, we flourished. And everything...Everything I had done in my entire life suddenly made sense, and I understood that every mistake and every choice brought me to that moment when I woke up beside her and I was the man that she loved and trusted. Everything I had done brought me to her and every mistake suddenly wasn't a mistake anymore, but a blessing. Because I had her. Because I found my...my soul mate."

"And then it all came crashing down on you?"

Robert didn't seem to realize she had even asked her question as he continued his tirade, suddenly turning from amazement and joy to fierce, combative anger. "And then my dumbass sister comes in the picture and messes it all up because she can't get a handle on her life...Because she can't see that a bloody nose is not love. She can't understand that there is more to a relationship than getting laid and doing drugs and getting the shit kicked out of you because you don't have the money for drugs or you're not in the mood for sex. She doesn't know what love is, and she expects...She expected me to be there to pick up the pieces, like I'd done so many times before. And I had enough of it. I had enough of her and what she was doing to herself and to me."

"So this is about your sister?"

"No," he answered with a scoff. "This is about how I shut April down when she tried to talk about it."

"But this...Your reason for not wanting to visit April's family...That's because of your sister?"

Robert crossed his arms and scowled. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about."

He sighed heavily. "Explain."

"You obviously have a bad relationship with your sister and she's not the best person to bring your fiancee home to meet. She has a problem with men, correct?"

He scoffed. "A big one."

"And you resent the fact that she comes to you for help all the time, selfishly, and is unconcerned with how her actions affect you?" When he nodded she continued, "So don't you think that's a reflection on you? Are you afraid that April's family is going to see past this little shell that you've created? That they're going to see the real you and know that you turned your back on your sister - that you have a sister who isn't the best person in the world? Do you think that scares you in the slightest that these people aren't going to see the you that's deep inside but the you who's had a rough go of life?"

"No."

"Robert."

He sighed heavily at her warning tone. "Okay. Maybe a little. But...Is that so bad? I don't want them to look at me and see a guy who ditches his sister when she comes to him for help. That's not the kind of man I am."

"Kinda seems like it."

"Hey." His tone abruptly turned angry as he scowled at her darkly. "I thought you said no judgement."

"I'm not judging you, Robert. But it could be the kind of man they will perceive you to be. And that scares the hell out of you."

"I would _never _do that to April. Never."

"But you did it to your sister."

"That's different."

"How?"

"Because it just is."

Dr. Wyatt stared at him carefully when he refused to look at her and looked back up at the ceiling. "What are you afraid of, Robert? Really? Are you afraid that they won't like you? That they're going to judge you and deem you not right for their daughter or sibling because of age? What?"

"I'm afraid they're going to see the Dr. Stark side of me and not the Robert side of me. I'm afraid that I'm going to come off as this cold heartless bastard because sometimes..."

"Sometimes what?"

"Sometimes that's how I feel. All the time. And not just at work but with April. Like the night of our fight. I mean...That was bad. I was worse than the lowest of the low. I treated her terribly and I didn't deserve her forgiveness as quickly as she gave it. That wasn't the me she fell in love with, that wasn't the me I pride myself on being personally. That was like Dr. Stark had taken over and...And there was no turning back. And what if that happens with her parents? Because Jesus, that girl is easily manipulated. I know her. She says she'll stand her ground but if her parents say something, I know she'll listen. That's what she does. She listens to people and hangs onto every word."

"And you're afraid of everything that might happen. You're afraid they aren't going to like you because you're afraid you won't be yourself around them and that, in turn, scares you because you don't want to lose the one girl who's ever truly made you happy, right?"

"Correct."

Dr. Wyatt sighed. "You need to get over that."

Robert scowled and stared at her. "I beg your pardon?"

"That fear...You're a doctor, for God's sake. From everything you've told me, you exude confidence and arrogance in the workplace. But when it comes to April, and her family, you're like a little kid and don't want to face the big bad monster."

"What's your point?"

"You love April, right?"

"Yeah."

"And she loves you?"

"Yes. But I don't-"

"Then that's all that matters," Dr. Wyatt explained. "If she loves you as much as she says she does, her family's opinion isn't going to make a difference. If her co-workers opinion in the long run didn't change her mind - and these are people who are close to her and have more effect on her than family - than her family sure isn't going to do it. You need to get over your fear, go visit her family, and show them that you might not be the best guy in the world, but you are the best guy for their daughter. No one's perfect, Robert. If people were I wouldn't have a job. They're not looking for the best guy in the entire planet. All they care about is if you're right for their daughter."

"And that's a lot of pressure."

"But clearly you are the right person for her. From everything you've told me...She wouldn't have found anyone better than you."

Robert stared at her for a moment. "You really know how to cheer someone up after you tear them down, you know that?"

"But do you get it, Robert? She wouldn't bring you home to meet her family if she wasn't serious and crazy in love about you. April's not the kind of girl to just do that with anyone. If she didn't think her parents would love you, you wouldn't be going to Colombus in a couple days. You'd be here, and she'd be there. Plain and simple. But because she loves you and believes so deeply that you're the man for her, she wants you to meet her family. She wants you to meet them because you'll love them and they'll love you."

"And what if they hate me?"

"It wouldn't be the first time that in-laws hated each other, would it?"

Robert smiled finally with a soft chuckle. "No, I guess not."

"The best advice I can give you, Robert, is to just be yourself. There's nothing wrong with who you are - and clearly you have morals because you hate the abusive men your sister dates. If you're honest with them and don't put a front, they'll like you. But if you're not, and you lie to them and pretend to be something you're not...That won't help anyone."

Robert sighed after a moment. "That's all I've ever asked of April."

Dr. Wyatt nodded. "And that's all she can ask of you. You'll be fine, Robert, really. Just...Be yourself and remember that you are a good man and you are good for April. If you remember that - if she remembers that, too - nothing they say or do will matter. Because this about you two, not them. They aren't in this relationship. Don't ever forget that."

"I just don't want April to forget that."

"Do you trust her?"

"With my life." In fact, he thought to himself, if he ever would need surgery, she - and Arizona of course (but that would be impossible - would be the only doctor he'd consider to allow operate on him. Because he knew she wouldn't mess up or miss a step; she'd make sure everything was done right and to protocol, and that was one of the reasons why he had given her that recommendation...Because she was the best doctor he had seen in a long time.

"Then trust her enough to know that she won't forget that. Trust her, Robert."

"I do trust her."

"Obviously not if you doubt her."

Robert scowled and shook his head. "Trust and doubt are not the same thing."

"No, but there is a fine line between them." Dr. Wyatt paused. "And it's a line that's very easily crossed."

"I don't doubt her."

"Obviously you do."

"It's not doubt so much as worry...worry and my own stupid insecurities," he added after a few moments. "Because I don't doubt her. She's the ony person I have any real faith in."

"Besides yourself."

He smiled. "Of course."

"When was the last time you felt like this, Robert?"

He paused to think, though it didn't take much time. "When my sister came into town. During our fight. I didn't want to tell her why I wasn't going to stand by Rose - that's my sister - anymore. I just...I didn't want to talk about because...Because if I opened myself up like that..."

Dr. Wyatt stared at him closely when he looked down at his hands and suddenly stopped talking, like he didn't want to admit it to himself, let alone her. "Opened yourself up like what?"

"I don't know. Maybe I was afraid she'd see the opening and jump on it."

"To do what, Robert?"'

"To attack." But that wasn't true. April would never attack him - and had proved that much - unless he had attacked her first and she was simply defending herself with hurtful words.

"Would she attack you, Robert?"

"No." He shook his head and sighed. "She just...It's not in her personality to fight for no reason. I mean...She'll stand up for herself when she needs to, but she won't go on the offensive to get ahead. Like with the Chief Resident race. When everyone else was trying to show off in front of Hunt, she simply did her job. She didn't try to show off or make herself seem better than others. She just...She did her thing. And she's like that personally, too. She does her own thing and she doesn't attack people."

"So then why were you afraid she'd attack you?"

"Because that's what Lauren did."

"Attack you?"

"Yes," he answered. "About everything. She'd find fault in something that I did and she'd see an opening and take it - especially when it came to Rose. Everything I did with Rose never seemed to be the right thing, at least to Lauren. She'd just attack and attack and attack and I eventually learned how to handle it, how to handle her."

"And how you'd handle it?"

"By attacking back."

Dr. Wyatt nodded. "And that's what you're doing with April."

"Yes."

"And that's why you're here?"

"Yes."

"Because your relationship with Lauren was so traumatizing and taught you a different way to live and you just...You never forgot it."

"I like to think of it as muscle memory."

Dr. Wyatt stared at him. "But if April isn't like Lauren in that respect, why did you think she would start acting like that?"

"Like I said, muscle memory. It was just reflexive." He looked down at his hands, almost ashamed at himself and his actions. "Has been for a long time."

"Is that why you and Lauren got divorced? Because she kept on attacking you and eventually you couldn't handle it anymore?"

He scoffed. "I could handle her. That didn't bother me. I could have lived with that."

"So then what was it that you couldn't live with that made you walk away?"

"I didn't walk away," Robert told her. "She did."

"Why?"

"Becuase she had three affairs during our marriage, and the third one...She obviously thought he was worth ending our marriage over. So she took her stuff and she left and she didn't come back until she needed me to sign the divorce papers." He had told April he had walked away from Lauren - and that was partially true. He had made the decision to walk away, it's just Lauren beat him to it. And to save his pride, he had lied and told her he walked away - because if he hadn't walked away, or at least made the decision to, he would have been as bad as his sister. And that was something he had never been capable of handling, no matter who he was with - even though back then he had thought he was never capable of leaving Lauren. Somehow he had done it; the fog of the pain had settled and he had seen the rainbow after the long rain. But the result hadn't made the road travelled any less rough and dangerous; it had hurt like hell, a feeling he hadn't experienced since then.

"Did that hurt you?"

He nodded. "Enough to risk my career. I was so mad that I put my fist through a wall and couldn't perform surgery for a few weeks."

Dr. Wyatt stared at him carefully before she corrected herself. "No. What I'm saying is that relationship was enough to cripple your trust in women. It was enough to haunt you so badly that you feel that any woman you come across is going to hurt you or leave you. And that...That's what need to change in all this, Robert - because that's what caused you to act out the way you did toward April and your sister. You're afraid of getting hurt and when all a woman - a woman who is supposed to love you - does is hurt you...It's damaging and it changes you and how you interact with people."

"So..." He thought for a moment. "You're saying this is all Lauren's fault?"

"It's your fault, too. It takes two to tango."

"But it's more her fault, right?"

"Robert."

He sighed at her warning and put his hands up in surrender. "No, I get what you're saying. I do. I just...I guess I didn't want to admit that Lauren had that kind of hold on me - and still does, it appears."

"You can change how you interact with people, Robert," Dr. Wyatt told him gently, reassuringly, because he needed to hear that he could do it; he needed to know that he was capable of things he never dreamed were possible.

He looked up at her carefully, like a child seeking reassurance from his parents. "It's not impossible?"

"No, but it'll need to be done in baby steps. Changing on how you react to something, that just doesn't happen overnight."

"So...What do you suggest?"

"Well, this weekend let's start by saying that whenever you feel that you're about to attack someone or behave like a jerk, you remember Lauren and how she made you feel and remember that's how these people are going to feel. Baby steps."

He nodded. "I could change the subject, too."

"Yeah. Sports, surgery, things like that. Whatever interests you and things you can talk about...with her family. You don't want to bore them.'

"Are you saying I'm boring?"

Dr. Wyatt heard no defensive tone in his voice; it was as if he was simply asking a question, and offered no judgement, irritation, or anger. She smiled slightly. "I'm not suggesting that. I'm just saying...Don't talk about accounting unless one of them is an accountant."

Robert smiled. "I can do that."

"You can do this, Robert. I believe in you and April believes in you."

"I just have to believe in myself."

Dr. Wyatt nodded and watched him sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair and stared at the ceiling, as if it held at the secrets to the future in some foreign text that he was unable to decipher. He tried so hard, staring at for minutes, before he finally looked back down at her and stared ahead, waiting for the future to unveil itself, hoping and praying that it would all be al right in the end. Dr. Wyatt observed him silently, this man of steel professionally, but held so many scars personally that he wasn't sure if he would ever heal, if he was even capable of it. Like a child, he would need to take baby steps...because it was never good to run before he was even capable of walking.


	13. Meeting the Family

If there was any time that Robert needed a safe flight somewhere, it was now. He wasn't a superstitious person - he had more faith in science and actual numbers and facts, which all seemed to side with him - but the last thing that he needed was to start this trip off on a bad note with a shaky flight and potential for disaster. So far everything was running smoothly as he and April walked off the tarmac amidst the crowd of people, and for that he was thankful. Already Robert was feeling nervous, so to have things run all right in the beginning was a good sign. He decided, optimistically, that they could only go uphill from here.

April had watched him carefully the entire flight. She had discovered through their months together that he liked to hide behind an icy exterior - both professionally and personally - until someone came along and cracked the rough shell. No matter how much he tried recently, she could see something was wrong, something he refused to tell her and tried to hide because he didn't want to upset her. But she wasn't the kind of girl to make a scene in front of a crowded place - and she liked how he felt the need to protect her by safely leading her through the crowds - so she decided not to say anything until they were safely in the taxi with their luggage. After giving the taxi driver the information, she turned to Robert, who stared out the glass. "Hey."

He turned to look at her slightly and smiled. "What?"

"Are you feeling all right?"

"Oh, yeah."

April inspected him. "You don't look it."

He shook his head. "I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Yes, really." Robert looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Are you fine?"

"I'm great."

"Great."

She frowned when he turned away from her and stared out the window. After a few moments of close inspection, April did the only thing she could to reach out and touch whatever nerve was sending him pain; she took his hand gently and waited for him to look at her. When he did, she saw confusion and apprehension, but pushed forward regardless. "Robert, seriously. Is something bothering you?"

He chuckled. "I don't like planes."

"You don't?"

"No."

"Is that..it?"

"Yes."

"I don't believe you."

Robert squeezed her hand gently and gave her a soft smile in reassurance. "Really, honey. I've just never been comfortable on planes. The small space and the possibility of the dangers beyond my control...It bothers me. A lot, actually."

"You like being in control."

"I do."

April smiled. "That wasn't a question."

"I know."

April felt the need to smile again as she kissed him gently on the cheek. When he only squeezed her hand again and turned his head so his cheek brushed against her own, she sighed softly and closed her eyes. Breathing in for strength, she asked, "You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

"Yes." So long as the truth didn't hurt her.

"Good."

"How far do your parents live from the airport?" He didn't look at her as he asked the question, instead staring out the window to watch what they passed.

"Not far. They'd be picking us up if they lived far. If there's one thing my dad tries to do, it's save as much money as he possibly can." She smiled. "And he'd do the same thing for me, regardless of my job."

"Or how much money I make?"

"I wouldn't flaunt that if I were you, unless he interrogated you on whether or not you can...provide...financially."

Robert smiled. "I can take care of you just fine."

"You know I'm not in this for your money, right?" She chuckled. "Because one day I'll be just like you, so you don't have to worry that I'm just going to take you for all you're worth."

"We haven't even gotten married and you're already talking divorce?" He shook his head. "I appreciate that faith."

"Plenty of people get a prenup, Robert."

"And we'll be getting one before we're married?"

April smiled. "Now who's preparing for divorce even before we're married?" She sighed softly when he attempted to hide his smirk by staring out the window again. "You know, let's just drop this prenup stuff and enjoy the weekend. We'll discuss finances later."

"There's no need for discussion."

"What?"

He smiled. "If there was anything that I learned from my first marriage about finances, April, it's that there's our money, and then there's your money and that's it. My parents taught me that one, too, in high school."

"Our money and my money, huh?"

"Yes."

She nodded with a soft smile. "I could get used to that."

"I'm sure you could." He shook his head with a smile.

"There was actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

Robert didn't like the tone in her voice or how she looked away from him when he turned to stare at her carefully. She had the same look she had when she cancelled their date a long time ago, and it bothered him so much that he felt the knots tighten - because he wasn't nervous enough already. He only squeezed her hand gently, trying to remember what Dr. Wyatt said and tried to remain optimistic, remembering not to behave like a jerk. "What?"

"I, um, I haven't told my family yet that we're engaged."

"You haven't?"

"No."

"And why not?"

"Well..." She looked down at their joined hands before staring back up at him. "My dad's really old-fashioned and I think he would appreciate it if you asked him...well...you know asked him if you and I could get married."

"Your hand in marriage?"

"Yeah." She frowned when he looked away from her to stare out the window; now she was unable to guess his emotions, but she knew from the way that his body had tensed and had yet to loosen was a bad sign. She wished she could understand the thoughts going through his brain; unable to read his mind, however, she asked, "Is that all right?"

He shrugged. "I guess."

"Robert-"

"It's tradition, after all. I should have asked him before I asked you, anyway. I guess...It's not a big deal, April, really. I'd be glad to ask him."

She frowned again. "Robert, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You said you wouldn't lie to me. You promised."

He sighed. "What if he says no?"

She scoffed him off. "Honey, do you hit me?"

"No."

"Emotionally or verbally abuse me?"

He remembered their fight, the way he had made her cry, the way which he had taken her exposed heart and thrown it through the wood chipper. His voice was strangled as he tried to forget that one instance and answered, "No."

"And you have a stable job and you're not addicted to drugs or anything like that? You don't sleep around?"

"Correct."

"And you love me and I love you?"

"Yes."

"Then that's all my dad is going to need to know for him to say yes," April told him, squeezed his hand gently in support. "He's going to want to get to know the man you are - and the man you aren't - and then he's going to say yes. I promise."

"I hope so."

* * *

><p>Robert stared out into the open land like it held all the secrets to his future. He thought nothing would bring him out of this trance until a hand slapped his shoulder; turning slightly, he only stared at the cab driver who popped the trunk open. Wordlessly, he helped the man unload the luggage, paid him, and turned to see that April had not only gotten out of the cab but was standing beside him, her hands in her jacket pockets. Her stare was calm, patient, and so excited that he couldn't help but smile. "Colombus suits you well."<p>

She laughed softly. "It's home. Well...It used to be home."

Robert smiled. "And where is home now?"

"Home is where the heart is. And my heart," she stepped toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck securely as she kissed him gently, "is with you."

"I like that."

"I'm sure you do." April kissed him again. She unzipped his fleece enough so she could see the grey shirt underneath, and smiled. "There's something I should tell you before we go in there."

"Is it worse than you not telling your parents about us?"

"Actually, yes."

Robert immediately felt his heart fall from his chest out of fear, and he didn't like the sound of her voice, the tone which told him she knew she'd hurt him by whatever she was about to say. "What is it, April? Because I don't think I could take any heartbreak and-"

"Relax. It's not heartbreaking...Well, sort of."

"Just tell me."

"So snappish."

"April."

She zipped his fleece back up when his tone was short, frustrated by her avoidance of the subject. April kissed him again and lingered for just a momentf, hoping it would enough to soften the blow. "You and I are going to have to sleep in separate rooms for this trip, honey. Because my parents...They're strict like that. And, well, we aren't allowed to share a room until after a wedding ring is on my finger."

"Really?"

"Have I ever lied to you about sex before?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"You want me to lie to you?"

He couldn't help but return her smile; her optimism would carry him through this trip if the baby steps he discussed with Dr. Wyatt didn't because her smile made this all worth it - to see that joy on her face made this entire life change worthwhile. "Well, in regards to this, yes I would."

"Does it bother you that we won't be together this weekend?"

"Very much, yes."

April smiled. "I like that."

"I'm sure you do."

She laughed and kissed him one more time. "You ready?"

"To meet your parents?" He scoffed. "I've got this in the bag."

April took note of his false confidence, because he was trying to make her feel better about all this. He was more concerned with silencing her fears and nervousness that he put up a barrier over his own, just for her, because her tranquility this weekend was most important. She simply kissed him once more, smiling when he pulled her tight against him because this could very well be the last time they reached true, private intimacy this weekend. She savored the moment, this sweetness between them that she hadn't felt in such a long time; it was overpowering, really, because he hadn't kissed her like this since before his sister came to visit. And she knew - without a word from him - that he was slowly changing. April could feel it in his touch, the way he gently ran his hands up her arms until he cupped her cheeks and took control of their embrace. She lost all sense of time, all control, and suddenly didn't want to be here but in their bed - where they wouldn't have sex like they had in the on-call room, but actually make love. And he would show her just how much he loved her and it would be sweet and perfect and everything they needed to start over again.

Robert didn't like how suddenly she pulled away, and met the sparkle in her eyes with a confused stare. "You all right, honey?"

"We can't do that again."

"And why not?"

"Because all it does is make me want to sneak into your room at night, and I've never had this feeling before, so it's very dangerous because I might just do it if we kiss like that again."

Robert smiled. "That wouldn't be a bad thing."

"It would if we got caught."

He smiled again before gently kissing her forehead. "Well then let's go in there before we do something that will get us into trouble."

April moved away from him but did not break contact as she grabbed his hand and they both took their own luggage, wheeling it with difficulty through the gravel. Somehow they had made it to the front door however, and she could see her youngest sister, Alice, through the screen door. Turning toward Robert one last time - because Alice had seen them and would soon be opening the door to embrace her sister - she squeezed his hand and gave him a soft, encouraging smile. "You'll do great."

He only squeezed her hand in return, grateful for her faith in him, and softly smiled. He breathed in for confidence as the screen door swung open and out came her sister, followed by her two other sisters. Robert was thankful that during the flight April had shown him pictures of her sisters; he knew Kimmie by her visit, Alice by the redder tint to her hair, and Libby by her short, almost chocolate hair. They all seemed to rush on their sister - having not seen her since her move to Seattle - and he couldn't help but smile. This was his fiancee surrounded by sisters she loved, and sisters who loved her. Robert only shook his head with a grin as they bombarded her with questions about the flight and Seattle.

"Guys, guys." They immediately stopped talking when April put her hands up with a smile. She turned to Robert and introduced him, "This is Robert Stark, my boyfriend."

"And a doctor she works with," Kimmie chimed in. "He's the chief of pediatric surgery."

"Kimmie."

She smiled. "Sorry, April. You probably want to brag about him."

"Yeah," Alice agreed as she gave Kimmie a gentle hit on the arm, "And you don't need to brag to the rest of us that you've met him already."

April was pleased to see the small smile on Robert's face, which indicated to her that he was amused and not annoyed with the way he was introduced; she realized, quickly, that she had yet to really introduce him to her sisters - that they had yet to even acknowledge him because they were too busy bickering about each other and who knew more about him. She was glad to see, however, that he didn't mind. If she knew him as well as she thought she did, she'd guess he was glad they had yet to fully acknowledge him. Robert was a man who liked to roam in the shadows, away from the chaos unless he was needed. April decided with a wry smile that it was time to pull him out. "Robert, these are my sisters."

Finally, all three women turned to face him, now paying no attention to their sister. Robert met April's proud gaze quickly and smiled at her _how-do-you-like-it _stare before he returned to her sisters with a smile. "Nice to meet all of you."

They only stared at him.

His smile grew slightly uncomfortably as he met April's gaze again, who beamed. Were he back in Seattle, and had he not discussed his fears with Dr. Wyatt, he would have asked them why suddenly they decided to stop being chatterboxes. But that would be rude, wouldn't it? And he would be a jackass - the Grinch - and he couldn't have that. Instead of making the comment he knew would make a terrible first impression, Robert asked, "So who is who?"

"I'm Alice," the woman with the reddish hair answered. Robert took note of the same perky tone in her voice that April carried. He fought his smile and instead shook her hand.

"You know me," Kimmie told him. "But I'll shake your hand anyway."

He turned to Libby, who only stared at him with a serious face. It took every ounce of fight in him not to return the cold stare, because that stare was so natural for him, both in his neutrality and when he fought on the defensive. Robert remembered Dr. Wyatt's words and forced a smile. "And that must make you Libby. It's nice to meet you."

She only stared at him. Moments passed before she told him, "If you ever hurt her, I'll kill you."

April watched from behind her sisters as his face fell slightly; it was an action only clear to her, because they were both aware of how much and how deeply he had hurt her. For a moment she thought his entire day would be ruined, that his demeanor would shift and the guilt would takeover. Even though no one else could see this shift, she could; the guilt was strong, like he knew he had committed a terrible grievance and had yet to forgive himself for it though she had forgiven him long ago. April wanted to run to him now, to hold him close and tell him that everything would be all right because she had forgiven him. But he had yet to forgive himself and that - she realized - was maybe what this therapy was all about. It wasn't necessarily for her, but for him, so he could forgive, forget, learn, and change.

Her eyes only met his as he glanced at her, expressing more hurt and guilt than she thought he was capable of. Guilt was strange coming from him, because he had never expressed remorse over anything. But here he stood, opening his soul only to her, and she saw just how much his actions bothered him...to the point where he didn't feel adequate enough to meet her family.

It suddenly made so much sense.

April found herself flashing back to his immediate caution over meeting her family, and it had nothing to do with he fact that they might not like him, but everything to do with the fact that they would threaten him physical harm if he hurt her, and he already had. Robert had hurt her, and in his eyes that gave him no right to be standing here, pretending like everything was okay and they would get along perfectly because if they knew the truth...there was no way her family would ever support her marrying a man who had hurt her the way he had. But he was changing, and she wanted to tell him that..to remind him that he wasn't like the men his sister dated. He recognized his faults and sought to change them, and that made him worthy...that would be the redeeming quality that would make her family comfortable with their union.

She knew he didn't see that now, but hoped desperately that he would in time.

Right now she wanted to stand beside him, proudly take his hand in hers, and walk through this house like she could conquer the world, like their past didn't matter and they'd be entering a portal to their future.

She decided to take action, something common in her practice as chief residents, primarily when she was responsible of handling the pit.

Before anyone could say a word about Libby's threat, she scooted past her sisters and firmly took hold of his hand, intertwining their fingers. April knew he had understood the cause of her action when he gently squeezed her hand. She gave her sisters a smile and asked, "Are Mom and Dad inside?"

"Mom's inside. Dad's at the market."

April chuckled. "Dad? At the market?"

"Said he needed to buy some blueberries," Kimmie told her with a shrug. "Believe it or not, Dad is actually starting to do some cooking around here."

"Does your father not cook often?"

"He didn't," Alice answered with a smile. Robert could see so many qualities in her that were so much like her older sister. "But he started to, once Mom decided to coach the girls' softball team."

"And then he had to learn to cook for himself?"

"Exactly."

Robert smiled. "Sounds a lot like my family."

"Oh? You have a big family?"

"No," he answered. "Just me and my parents."

April looked from Alice, who had asked the question, to her fiancee. She stared at him for only a moment, taking in the firm features of his face, like he wouldn't budge with the explanation. When he had told her that he was done, she hadn't realized how much he had meant it until now. April would never understand how he could cut his sister out of his life like that - because she could never do it herself - but she would stand beside him anyway. She suddenly grew uncomfortable with the subject - a feed off his emotions because they were so connected at times that she felt his emotions stronger than her own - and decided it needed to be changed. "Why don't we go in there so Mom can meet Robert?"

The women only stared at April and then back at Robert. April could see they wanted to ask her something, but none felt the courage to speak. "What is it, guys?"

Alice and Kimmie looked at each other before Kimmie asked, "Do, um...Do Mom and Dad-"

"Know that I'm older?" Robert finished for her, smiling when they suddenly turned white, as if embarrassed.

April crossed her arms. "I didn't tell them. Did you, Kimmie?"

"I just said he was older. I didn't say by how much."

"Well you can't really say something that you don't really know," Robert defended her, looking at April as he spoke. "It's all right. They're going to find out soon, I suppose. Do you think they'll care?"

"Mom won't," Alice answered. "But Dad...There's no telling with him."

"Should I be afraid of your father?"

"No," Alice answered. "Dad'll be upfront with his shotgun, but it's our mom you have to worry about. No telling what she'd do."

"A mother's scorn, huh?"

"Is that something your family knows well, too?"

"No." He smiled. "Growing up my mom was more...You do something wrong it's your fault, and you got yourself into that mess, now you get yourself out. Whenever I got hurt, it was my scorn people had to deal with, not my mother's."

"That sure explains a lot," April commented and smiled brightly when he gave her a soft glare. She only shrugged. "What?"

Robert only shook his head before he smirked and turned back to her sisters. "Well, why don't you ladies lead the way?"

April was firmly beside him as they entered the small farmhouse and walked into the kitchen where her mother, Karen, was working on cooking something that smelled delicious. Before he approached her mother, however, he took notice at how simple the kitchen was. This was definitely a place he could see April growing up in. It was neat, orderly, and everything had a place. Nothing was out in the open unless it needed to be. He only smiled before he turned to her mother, who was busy hugging and welcoming her daughter home. She was a short woman, perhaps a little over five feet tall, but he could see where April got most of her features from. Karen looked much like what April would look like when she was older except for her blue eyes. He smiled and greeted the woman with a handshake. "It's nice to meet you, ma'am."

"You must be Robert." Her voice was warm, welcoming, and he didn't see a reason to be worried like Alice had suggested. "I've heard a lot about you."

He wished he could say the same for her. All April had really told him was that she was a loving woman who was the best cook, knew how to fix just about problem, and was the only woman with enough strength to stand up against her father when he was being pigheaded - a trait he was glad to find had passed onto April. "I've heard a lot about you, too. You have a wonderful home."

"You haven't seen all of it yet."

He smiled. "Well, from what I've seen, it's lovely."

"It's a farmhouse."

"Yeah, well..." He looked around the family pictures that lined the walls. "It's a big jump from the small townhouse I had growing up or my apartment now. It's wonderful and...magical."

April fought her frown. He wasn't behaving like himself. The Robert she knew would have stopped at lovely, not gone on to applaud the house further. Was this what he had discussed at therapy? She only smiled, however, before she turned to her mother. "I'm going to get us settled in first. Is that all right?"

"Perfectly fine. Dinner's not done yet, anyway."

"What did you cook?"

Karen turned to Robert and smiled. "Pot roast, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, rolls, salad, the whole thing. Is that all right?"

"It sounds perfect."

April tugged on his hand and pulled him back toward the hallway that led to the small foyer, where their bags were. Before they were out of the kitchen, however, she turned when she heard her mother call her name. "Yeah?"

Karen only said, "You know the rules."

Robert thought for a moment that April was going to gawk in horror with how her face had suddenly turned a soft shade of pink. He only looked from his fiancee - though she wasn't his fiancee this weekend - to Karen, who smirked softly. Without a word or explanation from April, he was shoved into the foyer and grabbed the bags. It wasn't until they were upstairs did he finally ask, "April, what was that all about?"

She stopped and leaned against the closed door to her bedroom, turning to face him. "Don't laugh at my room."

"I'm not talking about your room, April, I'm talking about your mother."

She fidgeted slightly before blurting out, "You and I aren't allowed to sleep in the same room together."

"We already discussed that, honey." He paused. "And I assumed that from the beginning."

"So then what-" She stopped suddenly and he nodded when she blushed a darker shade and covered her hands over her mouth in surprise. "Oh, God no."

"Oh, yeah."

"No."

"Yes." He smiled and chuckled. "Nothing gets past your mother, does it?"

"I don't want my mother to know that...That's embarrassing."

"Well, you aren't a nun, honey. Eventually you were going to have sex, and I think your mother knew that."

"But she's my mother!"

"And I feel the same way you do," Robert told her with a smile. "But it could be worse, you know. They could have walked-"

"Oh, no. Don't even say that."

He shook his head and picked up his bag. "So then where am I going sleep tonight if not in your bedroom?"

"I'll show you as soon as I put my things down."

Robert put his bag on the ground and picked hers up as she opened the door to her bedroom. He walked in the small room and smiled. It looked like her parents had transformed her old room into a guest room, because he couldn't see her living in this room. She seemed slightly surprised, too, as she stepped into the room. The walls were sky blue with two dressers and a full-size bed as well as a nightstand and a lamp. He smiled at the quaintness of it; the simplicity was perfect.

Dropping her suitcase, he turned to her and smiled. "It's nice."

"One of the things about farmers, Robert, is we focus more on maintaining the farm than the more material parts of the house. Everything here is simple."

"And orderly."

"Yeah," she agreed with a smile. "Guess that's where I get it from."

"I like it, April. I like it a lot."

"Do you?"

"Yeah." He smiled again. "It's so...you."

April grabbed the bag and threw it on her bed before she turned to him. "Well, my room used to look different, but this is it now, I guess."

"That's kind of what happens when you move to Seattle for a few years. Your room changes into something you don't recognize."

"I know you haven't gotten to know them yet, but-"

"Your family is great," he cut her off, firmly so she knew he wasn't kidding. "They're...They're everything I don't have. And...I've watched people have that relationship with their family for along time. Every kid has had that with their parent. And I never had that. I never had that bond with my parents that you have with yours."

She smiled. "Robert, you've only seen me with my mother for a few seconds."

"But that's all I need. Your bond...It's clear from those few seconds. To see it now, to see that you have such a good relationship with your parents, it's amazing and perfect. It's everything I could want in my life."

"And it's a life you want to be a part of?"

"Hell yeah."

"Good." She would have kissed him if the door wasn't open and there was a chance that her sisters would come by and simply stare at them - because that's what they would do. They would stare and smile until they were noticed. It was like high school all over again. "I, um, I don't think we should...Help me out here."

"Be intimate?"

"Yes, that. I don't think we should do that at all, really."

"Because someone might see?"

"That too."

He smiled and shook his head. "You had no problem kissing me in front of the entire hospital."

"Yeah, but this is different. It's family. I mean...I'm my father's little girl."

He remembered Celeste and nodded in understanding. Though she was a baby - and though his time with her was brief - he had imagined her down the line as a teenager, and in his vision he hadn't seen her with some person...being intimate. The thought bothered him to the point where he didn't even want to think about it now, and he could understand exactly where April's parents were coming from. "Yeah. We won't do that."

She smiled at the sudden change, but welcomed it. "Before we go down there - and before I show you your room - there's something I want to talk to you about."

"What's up?"

"Earlier-"

She was cut off by a knock on the door frame. They both turned and Robert smiled at Kimmie, who was leaning against the trim with a smirk on her face. "Hey, Kimmie."

"I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

"No, you didn't," April told her with a firm voice. "And you won't."

"Just because Mom and Dad say nothing's going to happen doesn't mean nothing's going to happen," Kimmie answered with a smile. "You might be new to the rules, sis, but some rules do get broken."

"That is not an imagine I wanted in my head."

Kimmie smiled. "Not a problem. Anyway, when you guys are done putting all your things away, dinner's probably going to be ready so come downstairs."

"My younger sister telling me what to do?"

"You know it."

April smiled as Kimmie bounced away and she turned back to Robert, who still stared at the doorway, as if Kimmie still stood there. "Hey."

He turned to her. "Yeah?"

"You all right?"

"Yeah." He smiled to show her how fine he was. "But, Kimmie is right. Rules like that tend to get broken and...I don't want them broken this weekend."

"What? You don't want me?"

"Of course I do." He laughed. At times that was all he could think about, especially during the moments when he knew he couldn't have her, like during a complex surgery. "That's not it. It's just...I get where your parents are coming from and it might seem stupid because we're two adults, but the rules are the rules. You of all people should know not to break the rules."

"Yeah...But these are personal. And people won't die if I break the personal rules."

"Oh, no. You're wrong. _I _will die. Because your father and his apparent shotgun will shoot me and your mother...well I don't even want to know what she's capable of."

April sighed. "So I can't sneak into your room and seduce you in the middle of the night?"

"Definitely not."

"I'd be offended if I didn't understand your rationale," April told him with a smile. "Well, can I just have one kiss? A small one, I promise."

"Small. Quick."

"A peck."

He nodded in agreement and softly kissed her, pulling away quickly because he knew if she had her way, she'd pull him in for more. He smiled when she sighed in exasperation. "Come on, honey. Show me where I'll be sleeping so we can go downstairs."

"You want to go downstairs so quickly?"

"Better than the temptations up here."

"You're no fun." She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room. It wasn't long before he had grabbed his bag and she showed him where his room was. It was almost an exact mirror of the other room except the walls were a more beige color and the comforter was a flowered pattern.

He only laughed. "Want to change rooms?'

"Flowers not your thing?"

"I figured you'd guess that from the fact that my comforter is a straight dark blue with no real pattern."

"Come on, honey. We should be getting downstairs soon."

"Now who's pushy?" He asked, smirking slightly as he threw his suitcase on the bed before he turned to her.

"I'm starting to see what you mean by the temptations up here."

"So why is this room any different than yours?"

"Because that's my room. It may not look like it, but I grew up there. This place is new. It's a little out of my comfort zone, and I kind of like that."

Robert smiled and shook his head. "Well, at least I can find some comfort knowing you didn't sneak old high school boyfriends up there for sex and that were something to happen - and it's not, by the way - then I wouldn't be uncomfortable thinking other guys had been there before me."

"See, it all works out."

He put his hands on his shoulders and gently pushed her toward the door. "Come on. Let's go get to know your sisters and mother a little better."

"Robert?"

"Yeah?"

"We need to talk later, okay? I...What we were going to talk about before Kimmie interrupted us, we need to talk about that."

"Am I in trouble?"

"No, but it's important."

"Okay. We'll talk tonight, then. For now, we're going to get to know your family so they can get to know me." He kissed her hair gently before they walked down the stairs. Though she had promised nothing was wrong, he knew her well enough to know that something was bothering her - and he didn't like the thought of that. Only bad things would happen then, and he'd fight like hell to make sure this weekend was perfect.


	14. Chaotic Tranquility

"I have a feeling your sister doesn't like me very much, April."

April glanced at him, surprised and confused, before she pulled him through the hallway that led to the dining room. He had whispered the question, so no one else but her could hear, and she felt compelled to ask in a normal voice, "What are you talking about? Alice loves you."

"I'm not talking about Alice."

"Well, Kimmie, she already knows you. And when she knows someone and others don't, she lets them get to know that person. It's like she steps aside. She's good like that."

"I'm not talking about Kimmie, either."

"Libby?"

"Do you have other sisters I don't know about?"

April frowned at his sarcasm, despite its light tone. "What gives you the impression that Libby doesn't like you?"

"Because," he pulled her closer and lowered his voice - something he never thought possible, but this demanded the upmost privacy. "I was in there with them for about a half hour and your two sisters and mother made conversation while Libby simply glared at me. She hasn't spoken a word to me besides her threat."

"She's very protective, Robert."

"No. I even gave Rose's boyfriends the time of day when she brought them home - before they became abusive, of course. This...Your sister isn't even making an attempt."

"Well are you making an attempt with her?"

"You saw me in there try to start conversation with her," he argued, trying to keep his tone calm through his frustration, trying desperately to remember what Dr. Wyatt told him...remember that he couldn't bear the thought of hurting her again. "And she just gave me a nod or shake of her head before your sisters or mother took over."

"Well what do you want me to do?"

"Talk to her!"

April turned to stop him from walking through the swinging door that led into the kitchen. Meeting his frustrated face with a sigh, she told him, "All right, just...If she keeps up, I will talk to her, I promise. But give her time. It takes her a while to warm up to people."

"She's made it very clear how she feels about me, April."

"Give her time, please. If this happens for the next day or two, then...Then I will talk to her. I promise you that."

He sighed and agreed, "Fine. We'll ride it out and see what happens."

April kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

Robert nodded in agreement, happy with the smile on her face though he wasn't happy with the way Libby treated him like a criminal when she knew nothing about him. It was like she knew, he decided as they walked into the dining room, that he had hurt April dangerously in the past and was now attempting to make up for it, to change so it didn't happen again. But how could she know something like that? He was certain April had told no one, because she wasn't the kind of girl to talk about things that bothered her so readily; it took her time. Hell, it had taken her months to tell him she was a virgin - and that was as personal as their argument. Besides, he thought, she knew how cautious he was about the subject about Rose. There was no way she was going to tell anyone about that unless she knew he was comfortable with it.

He stuck with that and forced a smile at the dinner table, filled with food. Her three sisters, mother, and father were already sitting down. Compelled to speak, he apologized, "Sorry about being so late."

"Don't worry," Karen reassured him with that same warm voice that he heard from April whenever she was dealing with a patient. "We just sat down anyway."

Robert waited, tensing slightly, as April went over to her father and gave him a long hug, much needed after not seeing him in such a long time. Robert couldn't help but smile; the action, however, didn't calm his nerves as he shook the older man's hand. At sixty, he was balding slightly and his face had aged from hard work, but Robert could still see some features on April's face in her father, although they were few and far between. Shaking his hand firmly, he said, "It's good to meet you, sir."

"You're not much older than myself, are you?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're roundabout my age."

Robert scowled and let go of Joe's hand, letting his own fall to his side. He could feel everyone in the room staring at them; the only slightly surprised face was his, but he knew the open-mouthed stare on April's was out of mortification than shock. "Um...I'm forty-eight."

"That makes you twenty years older than April."

"Yes, sir, it does." He fought the natural reflex to cross his arms; instead of assuming a defensive position - which would soon be followed by an offensive attack, he remembered Dr. Wyatt's words. "But we do have a lot in common. We work together."

"That has nothing to do with the fact that when she was just a baby, it was legal for you to drink."

April only stared at her father, at the way he stared at Robert like he was a criminal who had no right to step foot into his house. Her gaze instantly turned to Robert, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights and he had no idea what to do except stand there and stare back. Admittedly, she half-expected him to fight back and fire a shot back at her father, but it soon became clear he was using all his strength to stop that from happening. Were she not shell-shocked by her father's sudden, brash behavior, she would have smiled. But she couldn't smile at this, at the way her father immediately attacked him without getting to know him. He was her fiancee, damn it, not some guy she was having sex with who treated her terribly. Despite her desire to end this and sit down, she found herself paralyzed - perhaps waiting to see if Robert would stand up to her father like he stood up to everyone else, or if he would take this, for her.

Robert fought the urge to fidget; instead of crumbling, he stood straight. "It could be worse. I could be Hugh Hefner's age."

April smiled, finally, when Kimmie snickered. "He is right, Dad. He could be Hugh Hefner's age."

Her father only stared at Robert and then at his daughter. "Twenty years is still a big age difference. A lot of differences between you two, goals-"

"Joe," Karen cut off firmly. "Let them alone. Dinner's going to get cold."

"Karen-"

"Joe," she stopped him again. "We can discuss this later. Right now, we'll eat and we'll talk. This isn't dinner conversation."

He sighed heavily in defeat. "Sit down."

Without a word, April pushed Robert past the head of the table toward the end where two open chairs were waiting for them. She knew Robert would behave like the perfect gentleman, and was unsurprised when he pulled her chair out for her and made sure she was sitting comfortably before he sat down. April watched him as he sat down beside her, adjacent from her mother, and turned to glance at her father. Joe was watching them carefully. Frowning slightly, she asked, "Are you going to say grace, Dad?"

"Not unless he wants to do it."

"He," Karen corrected her husband, "has a name, Joe. Robert, would you like to say grace?"

Robert smiled. "In my house the head of the table does it, and your husband is the head of the table."

"Damn straight."

"Well then, honey," Karen addressed her husband, her voice brimmed with irritation at his behavior, "why don't you say grace so we can all eat?"

Once grace was said, all the food was passed around, and everyone had full plates, April took the time to glance at her fiancee. This wasn't a man she was used to. He wasn't the same Robert who had taken her out on their dates, and he definitely wasn't the same Dr. Stark who had treated her terribly for months before he had taken the stick out of his ass; it was as if this was a combination of the two, or an attempt. Because she could see that despite trying to be close to everyone, there was a distance that he only reserved for colleagues - for people he had yet to grow completely comfortable with, which she understood. There was no way he'd be comfortable with her family in less than a day - and her father wasn't making that task any easier. It irritated her, now that she thought about it. Robert was being nothing but loving with them, and this was how they treated him? No wonder he was uncomfortable; it was obvious to her he fought hard not to give a snippy response. And she loved him more for his restraint.

But she couldn't get over the fact that her family was giving him grief, and only hoped they got better as the weekend passed.

"So Robert," Karen began in the silence, "why don't you tell us exactly what you do?"

Robert smiled in relief at the safe subject. Surgery was simple, easy...more than safe. He was confident and proud in this subject, not at all uncomfortable. "I am the Chief of Pediatric Surgery."

"Which means what?" Alice asked.

"Well...I perform surgeries on kids when I'm not doing other responsibilities. Like I'll delegate surgeries to other pediatric surgeons and I handle the budgetary issue with peds or I'll do the big meetings with the Chief of Surgery. So I'm kind of like a doctor and a salesman, because I constantly have to pitch pediatrics to the hospital."

"What?" Kimmie laughed slightly. "They don't care about the kids?"

"Oh, no, they love the kids. It's just... Nowadays you have to fight for every scrap of money you can get. Every department does."

"So," Karen chimed in, "Your job basically is what April does?"

He smiled and nodded, gently patting April's knee. "That's a good way to describe it, yes. Except while she deals with residents, I deal with attendings."

"Well why didn't you just say that then?"

All attention turned to Joe, who had asked the question. April only stared at her father, both in surprise and irritation, because this man before her wasn't really recognizable as her father. She hadn't lied when she told Robert that her father was an easy-going man who wasn't hard to please but this...She hadn't really experienced this side of him before. Then again, she had never had a serious boyfriend before. Though she didn't understand, she turned back to look at her mother, who was increasingly growing frustrated with her father's brash, unnecessary behavior. He was behaving worse than Robert had when she trotted out the "just friends" speech, and that was saying something.

"Joe," her mother warned.

He looked up at her. "What?"

She only shook her head before turning her attention to Robert, who was sitting there with a perplexed look on his face - and obviously trying to stop himself from firing back with a snide comment. "So have you always been involved in pediatrics?"

He nodded and attempted to divert the subject - to forget so he didn't attack - by replying, "Ever since I was in high school. I knew I wanted to be in peds for a _long _time."

"Why high school?"

Robert smiled and shrugged. "When I was maybe fifteen, there was this neighborhood girl who was seven. She was skating on the iced over pond and she fell in. My dad came running out and pulled her out. He had to do CPR to resuscitate her, but he saved her. He ran out of our house and risked his life for her and he saved her life. In that moment I just thought to myself, 'I want to do that.' I wanted to save kids. And with my job, I do. I don't see kids until they're at their last chance, and I save them."

April simply stared at him while he spoke, thinking about the little girl who had once meant so much more than just someone in his neighborhood. She wondered what Rose would think if she could see her brother now, if she would be proud to think that he had become a surgeon to save people like her - even though, it seemed, he had been unable to save the one girl he had always sworn to protect.

"So you're living your dream, huh?"

He smiled and glanced at April before turning to her mother, who was continuing on a conversation with him while everyone else basically remained silent listeners. "Well now I am."

April returned his smile and shook her head.

Karen, too, beamed. It was nice to see her daughter happy; she, unlike her husband, was at first a little leery of the age difference. As she had gotten to know Robert, however, it was becoming less and less about his age and more about who he was, and the kind of man he would be with her daughter. She was liking the man who sat beside her, and she liked the way April had blushed at the subtle compliment and loving admission. "Do you and April work together a lot?"

"We used to," he answered. "On surgeries. She'd be on my rotation every once and while."

"And now?"

April smiled. "Now we only see each other when it comes to scheduling."

"And not for surgeries?" Alice and Kimmie chimed in together.

April shook her head. "No. I, um, I'm going to do trauma as my speciality, not peds."

"She doesn't like me very much," Robert told them, smiling when she hit his arm gently.

Joe seemed not to like the sarcasm, and asked, "What? You don't like her doing something different?"

Robert scowled. That hadn't been what he said at all, very far from it actually. He wasn't sure where to go from here - except to attack. But he couldn't do that; so far he had done well, he thought, refraining wonderful from any snide comments that he reserved for residents. However, his restraint was thin, and it was growing increasingly difficult not to defend himself, to snap back at a man who had done nothing but attack him all night. Even Lauren's parents had treated him better. "No, sir. I was just...I was kidding. Trauma is great for her. I've seen her in action in the pit and it's...it's amazing to watch, really. Her focus and determination is unlike anything I've ever seen."

"What's the pit?" Kimmie asked, feeling that the subject would take a dangerous turn if someone didn't intervene.

"The pit's a place where the ambulance brings the victims. It's kind of like an emergency room except trauma patients with extensive wounds are brought there. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard, and sometimes it's chaotic."

"But April handles it wonderfully," Robert added with a smile. "She's a fantastic delegator."

It was the first time all night that Joe smiled. "That's my girl."

Robert knew that the instant Joe looked at him and his smile faded that this was going to be a long evening, let alone a long weekend.

* * *

><p>"Robert?"<p>

Robert looked away from the night sky, the twinkling stars that looked wonderful and the same despite being in a different city, and smiled. "Karen. Do you need something?"

"I was just looking for you. Mind if I sit down?"

Without a word, he scooted over on the porch swing to allow her more room; once she was seated and comfortable, he began to slowly rock the swing back in forth, barely, in case she didn't like the movement. Staring up at the stars one final time, he sighed softly and asked, "Your husband doesn't really like me, does he?"

"No, he doesn't. He doesn't like many of the men the girls bring home."

"Protective father?"

"Oh yeah," Karen agreed. "You'll see one day."

He smiled and glanced at her, crossing his arms - in an amused manner, not defensive. He felt no need to put up walls around this woman. April was very much her mother's daughter, and he liked that. For that reason, he felt himself trusting Karen, though he barely knew her. "You think April and I will have children?"

"You don't?"

Robert shrugged. "Can't say I haven't thought about it."

"But you don't think it'll happen?"

He shrugged again. "April's young, sure, but she's got a whole career ahead of her. Having children and being a surgeon...It doesn't mix a lot of the time. And having two parents as surgeons? It wouldn't be a lot of time devotion. I mean, don't get me wrong. If she were pregnant, things would change. I would...I would step up for my kid, no doubt, but her career is just taking off. She needs to focus on that and becoming an excellent doctor instead of worrying about motherhood."

"You don't see April giving it up?"

"I would never ask her to," Robert admitted softly. "I'd never ask her to give up her career for our child. I'd...I'd step down from Chief of Peds before that happened."

"And your job is important to you?"

"Very," he answered. "But my kid and April...Nothing would ever mean more to me than that. In the end, family is all that matters. And April's who I would go home to every day, who I could really be myself around. She's more important to me than any job."

Karen smiled finally. "So, what? You'd be the doting stay at home dad?"

"My career's already taken off. I've been long past my prime, but April...She has a big life ahead of her. A fantastic career. I mean, Karen, you should see her. It's like...It's magic, watching her work. And I see her and I know...She's going to be better than I ever was. She's got the heart and the soul and the care. She's going to go places and do great things and be better than anyone could ever imagine."

"You should see the way you talk about her."

"What?" He looked at this woman - his potential mother-in-law - after staring at the stars.

She smiled again. "The look on your face when you talk about her...It's like she's the whole world to you."

Robert looked down at his hands, remembering why he had started his sessions with Dr. Wyatt. Finally, he looked back up at her, honest as he told her, "That's because she is."

"Robert."

"Yeah?"

"That's what matters," she told him. "Not your age, not where you've been or what you've done, but that right there. The fact that April means the world to you and there's nothing you wouldn't do for her. And that's the kind of man I want for my daughter. So, I'm glad she found you, even if the beginning was rough."

"She told you about that, huh?"

"It's one of the reasons why my husband doesn't like you very much," Karen told him with a sigh. "That, and the age difference is a big deal for him."

"You think it's a deal-breaker for his blessing?"

Karen shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. We've never been put in this position before."

"What is he afraid of?"

"That you'll use her...that you are using her." She paused. "And he just...He's very uncomfortable with the large age difference. It's...It's not natural for him and maybe a little gross."

Robert snorted. "Gross?"

"I figured it was better than disgusting."

He nodded in agreement. "Disgusting just sounds bad."

Karen sighed before she told him in a soft voice, "He would have much rather picked a man more April's age."

"You think he'll tell her that?"

"Probably," Karen murmured. "And you're going to have to fight for her, Robert. Because he's going to try to whisper in her ear about how bad you are for her, but you can't let him win. You need to fight back. I know you aren't now because you don't want to cause a problem, but you will need to in the future."

"He'd honestly do that? Try to break us up?"

"Joe's...He's overprotective to a fault. Nothing I say or do is going to change that. And if he feels you aren't right for her, then he's going to tell her that."

"And she's going to listen?"

Karen didn't like the way his tone had lowered, both in fear and pain. She watched his body language carefully as he stared down at his twisted hands. She gently touched his arm and waited for him to look at her before saying, "But you can't let her, Robert. You need to reassure her that you're right for her. You can't let him win."

"And there's nothing you can do?"

"I'll talk to him, but I'm afraid it won't do much. Like you've probably already seen with April, he's a stubborn man, and he likes to have his way."

Robert chuckled, though on the inside he thought his stomach had done a backflip at the thought of his worst fears becoming a reality. He didn't want to think about that now; he couldn't bear the thought that someone was going to sit on her shoulder and whisper in her ear what was best for her - even though he'd be doing the same thing if need be in the future. The idea that April's mind would change based on the opinion of her father bothered him. That, coupled with Joe's behavior toward him which was so unnecessary because it was based solely on age, was enough to give him a headache. And they were two things he didn't want to deal with now.

Robert sighed. So much for a perfect weekend. He turned to her and asked, "Hey, do you mind if I call it a night? I'm kind of beat from the plane and everything."

"Not at all. You get some good sleep, Robert."

He smiled. "Thank you. And good night, Karen."

* * *

><p>Maybe an hour had passed before Robert finally had felt himself doze off to sleep. The thoughts that Karen had put in his head - both about Joe and fatherhood - sent his mind spinning to the point where it had taken more than white noise to help him fall asleep. Finally, however, he felt all his worries fall away as he drifted off into a light sleep. However, his moment of peacefulness was broken at the knock on the door. Rolling over so he was facing the door, he called out, "Come in."<p>

The door opened slowly and there stood April, wearing pajamas and clutching a pillow. He laughed. "You all right honey? Did the monsters in your closet scare you?"

"Shut up."

Robert smiled and rolled over on his back. "Do you need something?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yes," she answered, her voice low, almost a whisper. "You."

Immediately he felt his body tense, both at her words and the knowledge that they couldn't be doing this. She wasn't supposed to be in here, let alone telling him that she wanted him. He would lose all self-restraint if she did anything more. "April, honey, we can't-"

"Shh," she hushed him quietly, moving into the bedroom as she shut the door, locking it behind her.

He sighed heavily and sat up. "I'm serious. You need to sleep in your own bed tonight. We can't have sex, not here."

"I never said anything about sex."

"But-" He stopped to watch her crawl into bed beside him, propping up the pillow behind her. "You said that you wanted-"

"I know what I said," she cut off with a roll of her eyes. "But just because I said that doesn't mean I want to have sex. I could have just come in here because I can't bear the thought of sleeping in a different bed than you."

He smirked. "Really?"

April smiled and kissed his cheek. "Don't get too confident, mister."

"So...We're not going to have sex?"

"No," she answered, pushing him gently back on the bed so that he was laying down. Without another word, she scooted close against him and wrapped his arm around her waist, sighing contently when she felt his soft kiss against her hair. This was much better than sleeping in that bed all by herself. Without him, her bed felt empty. She didn't feel the same sleeping in a bed without him, and this...His warm embrace was all she needed to sleep peacefully through the night. It was crazy of her to think she could live without it.

"We shouldn't do this, April."

And then he had to go ruin it. She only rolled her eyes and told him, "We're just cuddling, Robert. It's not like we're going to have sex and wake up naked in the morning."

"Still...If someone walks in-"

"No one's going to walk in. The door's locked."

"Yeah, and that right there," he told her sternly. "What happens when they go looking for you, find you not in your bed, and come here to see the door locked? I'm going to get my ass kicked by your dad. And he hates me enough already! I don't need that, too!"

April groaned in frustration. "You want the door unlocked?"

"Yes, please."

"Fine." She threw the comforter off dramatically, walked over to the door, and unlocked it before she returned back to bed. "Are you happy?"

Robert kissed her neck in response. "Very much, yes."

"Good. Now sleep."

"Hey, April?"

She sighed softly, not in irritation, but in a tranquility. "Yes?"

"Your dad doesn't like me very much, does he?"

"No, he doesn't," she answered, closing her eyes. "But that's not what matters. What matters is that I love you."

Even though she told him it didn't matter - that her father's opinion wasn't important to her - Robert knew the truth. And the truth had the potential to hurt him, a thought he couldn't get out of his head but could somehow forget now, only when he held her in his arms; because this was a place April would never leave, and Robert could find some peace in that, at least enough to allow him to drift off to sleep undisturbed despite his fear of someone walking in. Because when he held her, nothing seemed to matter.

And that was something he would fight to the death to hang onto, because she was worth fighting to the death for.


	15. Through the Fire

If there was one thing Robert loved about Colombus, it was the way the sun burst into the room as it began to rise. This wasn't like Seattle where it was rainy and dreary seventy-five percent of the time. In this place, in this town, the sun was like a persistent child, always around the corner no matter what someone did to escape. He loved it. Because this was one of the very first moments in their relationship when he would wake up beside her and watch the sun rise against her face. It accented all of her beautiful features, and in his eyes, made her more lovely.

Even in pajamas, no makeup, and hair messed up from sleep, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He had never thought it possible, but Robert was certain he loved her more than he had yesterday.

With a soft chuckle, he kissed her hair gently, rousing her from her sleep. When she only groaned and rolled over, eyes still closed, he smiled and whispered, "You really are a light sleeper."

"Yeah?" She frowned. "And you woke me up."

"Not on purpose," he offered. "If I woke you up on purpose, we'd be doing more than just talking."

"Which reminds me," she said after a moment, opening her eyes finally, "where's my good morning kiss?"

Robert kissed her softly before pulling away quickly, smiling when she groaned in protest. "No, honey."

"It's just a kiss."

"Yeah, but with you a kiss seems to always lead to something more."

"Hey, that's your fault," she poked his chest. "Not mine."

"Yeah? Maybe you shouldn't kiss me like you're looking for more than just a kiss. Maybe then I wouldn't go for more."

"Oh, so this is all my fault?"

"You know it."

April smiled at how he had developed using her sentence in normal speech. She sighed softly and took one of his hands in her own. "Maybe you should have some self-restraint."

"I'm not the one who came into your bedroom last night."

"I figured you'd take that as a compliment!"

He chuckled. "And I do, but..."

"But what?"

"You still came into my bedroom last night, when you shouldn't have. So...that makes you the one at fault, the one who lacks self-restraint, not me."

"Are we really having this argument?"

"You started it."

"I did not!"

He snorted. "So did."

"All right, you know what?"

"What?" He challenged, pulling his hand away from her so he could cross his arms. Robert simply stared at her, straight-faced, waiting for her challenge. When she offered nothing except a soft smile, he chuckled in triumph. "So, April, why did you come in here last night?"

"That wasn't obvious?"

He smiled. "I just want to hear you say it."

April laughed and buried her face in the pillow for a moment before she eyed him carefully, a twinkle in her eyes because he couldn't keep his eyes off her, off the woman he loved. It was a good feeling to think that, that a man had finally loved her, that she wouldn't be alone in this world anymore because she had him and she was certain he was all she would ever really need. "Same old Robert."

"Humor me, honey."

"Because you were brought down so much yesterday by my father?"

"Sure," he agreed. The thought hadn't occurred to him, but he would roll with it if she brought it up. "You owe me big time because I so could have fired back some nasty shots, but no. I maintained my cool, all for you."

April only kissed him in response. "And that is why I love you so much."

"Because I'm awesome?"

"Hardcore."

He smiled and shook his head. "Did Arizona tell you that peds is hardcore?"

"She did."

He nodded and told her, "She's right. It takes some serious skill to be a pediatric surgeon. There are some hardcore surgeries."

"And you're a peds god?"

"Don't you ever forget it. And you," he smiled and kissed her gently, "are going to make a wonderful trauma god, I promise."

"You aren't mad that I'm deciding to go with trauma?"

"Not at all," he answered. "I'm going to miss seeing you at work when you were on my rotation, and I'm going to miss stealing kisses throughout the day and checking you out and imaging you're-"

"Is that all you thought about when we worked together?"

"No. Just in the moments when you weren't being an amazing doctor," he told her with a smile. "I could separate personal and professional, honey. But it still was nice, having you there. Being able to kiss you whenever the hell I wanted."

"You couldn't kiss me whenever you wanted. We were in public."

"No, but I could have pulled you aside. And once you start trauma with Owen, I won't be able to do that."

"You'll have to pine away from a distance?"

He nodded and winced, as if the thought was painful. "And oh, how I'm going to miss you."

April smiled before she kissed him. "They do say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe you'll love me - want me - more because of the distance."

"Not a doubt in my mind."

"You know, if we were at home, I'd so kiss you."

"You already have kissed me, honey, numerous times."

April shook her head. "I'd kiss you like it was heading somewhere, not these little pecks. Even though they don't have to be-"

"They are," Robert cut off firmly, smiling at her pout. "I'm sorry, honey. I don't want to risk it."

"I'm just that irresistable?"

"Well, I didn't kick you out of bed last night, did I?" Robert kissed her once more, lingering just a moment to savor this joking peacefulness between them. It was nice, a good retreat from the animosity he felt from her father. It was like they were at home again, and nothing in the world mattered but them. He kissed her again. "So I'd say you're totally irresistable."

April only murmured softly in response, trailing soft kisses from his mouth, down his neck, and back up again. She loved the soft stubble which grew from lack of shaving - something he would take care of this morning, but for now she savored it. "Well, maybe I should get out of bed before we find ourselves in a predicament we won't want to get out of."

"No!" He stopped her from moving away from him by wrapping his arm tightly around her and pulling her closer to him so their bodies touched and the only thing between them was their clothes. "You can stay right here."

April smiled and snuggled against him, loving the way he continued to gently kiss her neck. "You're going to get us in trouble."

"I won't go any farther, I promise."

"Damn. I was hoping you would."

Robert shook his head and smirked, continuing to kiss the bare skin he could find while gently running his fingers up and down her back. Feeling the shivers run down her spine by the way she pressed tightly against him made him smile. "Seems you can't stay away from me either, honey."

"Yeah, you're pretty hard to resist yourself." She sighed, content and slightly aroused, when he moved his hands to the front of her pajama top and slowly began to undo the buttons. Two were gone by the time she asked, "Now who's playing with fire, Mr. We-Can't-Do-This?"

"Just a peek?"

"This isn't high school," she told him, swatting his hands away so he couldn't undo any more buttons - because once her clothes were gone, April knew she couldn't be held responsible for her actions. "You can't sneak a peek."

He snorted softly in response. "Well, that's no fun."

"Well, too bad. You're the one who said we can't do anything anyway. You're so paranoid someone's going to walk in on us doing the deed."

"Fine." He sighed softly. "We're going to have to do something besides just lay here, then. Because I'd get bored and when I get bored, I can't be responsible for what my hands do."

April laughed and swatted his hands away from her pajama top again. "We can talk, Robert."

He snorted, pretending to be offended. "Oh, so now you don't want me?"

Deciding to take action - to prove the truth to him - April grabbed his shirt as she kissed him passionately, not coming up for breath until she was certain he understood just how much she wanted him right now. When she finally released him, she smiled triumphantly. "How's that for not wanting you?"

He didn't answer for a few moments, and when he finally found his ability to speak, asked, "So...So what do you w-want to talk about?"

"It's a serious subject."

His face instantly turned serious just as soon as she said it. He didn't want this to be another worry to stack on his list; he had enough of them already. Instead of questioning her endlessly - to have none of his questions directly answered - Robert swallowed his fear and asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

"You'll be serious?"

"Of course."

His almost insulted tone told her he had not lied to her. April sighed, drawing on the action for courage, before asking, "Do you remember yesterday when you first met Libby and Kimmie and Alice?"

"Of course. It was less than twenty-four hours ago."

"Well, you remember when Libby threatened you if you hurt me?" The way he didn't answer and instead looked down at his hands told her everything she needed to know. "Robert?"

His voice was quiet as he answered, "I remember."

"Well that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."

Robert sighed, finally looking at her. "There's nothing to talk about, April. You sister threatened me physical harm if I hurt you and that's that. I would have done the same thing for my sister."

"I'm not talking about that, Robert."

"Then what are you talking about?"

"Don't play stupid with me," she warned, her voice brimmed with agitation at his attempt to avoid the subject. It seemed he was doing a lot of that lately, and it was growing to bother her. The Robert she knew would barrel head-first into a situation like this, guns blazing; maybe, she realized after a moment, it was a good thing he wasn't going on the defensive. It gave her time to voice herself.

"April-"

"That was guilt I saw in your eyes."

"April-"

"Guilt over our argument that happened a while ago," she continued, ignoring his protests by saying her name. "You're still feeling guilty about that?"

He scoffed. "How can I not? It's in my head every second. Why do you think I'm trying so hard? I don't want another fight like that. I don't..."

"Don't what?"

"I don't want to hurt you like that ever again," he answered, his voice barely audible despite the quiet stillness between them. Robert looked down at his hands again. "And for them to welcome me into their home like I'm this great guy when really I was the person who made you cry...That didn't sit well with me. So yes, I felt guilty. Because I had already treated you like shit and they didn't even know it."

"And what? You feel you need to redeem that by not acting yourself around my family?"

"How can I be myself? The me that you want me to show them is not a me that I'm proud of. It's the same guy who treated you like a piece of shit and-"

"And it's the same guy who waited until I was ready to have sex, who loved me despite my nervousness and fears, who...who loves me so unconditionally that he would change his entire outlook on life just for me. That's the man I know. That's the man that I'm proud of, that I think my family should get to know. Because that man..." She smiled. "You're the kind of man I've always wanted in my life, Robert. And yes, we've had our bad moments, and they'll be more to come, but the good outweighs the bad. You need to remember that."

"It's hard."

"Why? Because you're a pessimist?"

"Because I can't get the image of you crying - and knowing that the tears were caused by me - out of my head. I can't forget seeing you like that."

"Honey, you're never going to forget. And neither will I." She paused when she saw him look down at his hands, almost ashamed. "But that's the point of all this. We do something and we learn from it. Just because we can't forget doesn't mean we can't forgive."

He sighed softly. "You forgive me?"

"I forgave you a long time ago, honey. You just need to forgive yourself." Which, it seemed, was going to be more difficult than she thought. It wasn't just a quick fix, but one that would take time and effort; it would be an uphill battle, but one that they would travel together. There was no way April was going to let him flounder and drown in his own self-pity and anger, not if she could stand beside him and cheer him along as he climbed the mountain toward forgiveness and redemption. "And isn't that what therapy's all about? Forgiving yourself and learning from your mistakes?"

"I suppose."

"Well then there you go," April told him with a smile. "But you have to give it time. Time and knowledge that I've forgiven you."

Robert shrugged. "That helps a little, I guess."

"Good." She hoped he would never forget that she was here for him, that he wasn't alone, and she wouldn't abandon him or bring him down like Lauren had. She'd be in this until the very end - until he was able to finally forgive himself for his mistake and truly move forward for himself, and for them.

"April?"

"Yeah?"

"You should go back to your room before someone realizes that you're up and not in your room."

She sighed. "But I don't want to go."

Robert kissed her gently, "But you should. I don't want your dad to kill me - because God knows he doesn't need another reason to want me out of your life."

Again, April sighed heavily before she kissed him one final time, lingering for a moment because she really didn't want to leave this bed or him. It was so comfortable, so familiar, that she wasn't aware how much she savored his close proximity until the potential came for them to separate. "I'll see you at breakfast then?"

He shook his head before he kissed her forehead. "No, I think we'll meet in the hallway."

"Will I get a kiss then?"

"If no one else is around, yes." He smiled. "So keep your fingers crossed."

"Honey, I really don't want to go," she whined softly, her voice a whisper. She began to kiss him again, hoping it would enough to entice him to allow her to stay just a little while longer. "So what if they find us here? It's...It's not like we're doing it."

"No, but they'll think we already have. And your father has made it very clear about how he feels about our dating. I don't think he wants to think that we're having sex."

She sighed heavily and threw the comforter back. "Fine. I'll see you during first period then."

Robert smiled. "Are we going to have the same lesson in homeroom tomorrow?"

April stopped at the door and turned around to give him a smirk. "You know it."

* * *

><p>Robert laughed at the old comedy show on television. He wasn't sure what they were watching, but it wasn't a show he had watched with April very often back home; however, it was enough to make him - and the entire family - laugh, and that was all right with him. Laughter was way better than thick tension, that was for sure. He was thankful for the moment of peace, away from the cold stares.<p>

Robert realized now why therapy was so important. He couldn't believe he had spent years giving people these cold, uncaring looks. It was torture seeing them April's eldest sister and father when he decided to appear. As abundantly clear as the cold looks were, it was becoming obvious that April was the most like her mother. The woman was by nature a caring individual, and he hadn't expecting anything less from a teacher who seemed to go above and beyond for her students. April seemed nothing like her father, who obviously wanted nothing to do with Robert and was unhappy that he was here for his birthday part.

Robert was certain that if April wasn't here, he would have been kicked out a long time ago. And it hadn't even been twenty-four hours, either.

"Robert?"

The cold voice startled him so much that he turned around from the couch. "Sir?"

The older man crossed his arms; Robert wasn't sure if the movement was defensive or offensive, and wasn't in the mood to find out. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

Robert didn't take his eyes off Joe, though he could feel all the women staring at them. Without much thought, he slowly stood up and answered, "Of course."

Without a word, Joe walked from the room, out to the back porch.

Robert glanced around the room, expectantly, hoping to find some sort of answer. Receiving none, he summoned all his courage and exited the room, not before giving April's shoulder a gentle, but reassuring squeeze. He didn't want her to worry about him. If there was one thing he learned over the years, it was his ability to handle himself. The difficult part, he realized, would be holding his own without being malicious. But for April - and himself it seemed - he was certain he could do it.

As the door swung shut, Robert took a seat in the porch swing across from the whicker chair Joe sat in. There was a brief moment of silence before Robert asked, "What can I do for you?"

Joe only crossed his arms and stared at Robert carefully before finally answering, "I don't like you very much."

"Because of the age difference?"

"That, too."

Robert nodded in understanding and decided to keep his arms at his sides; crossing them would make it look like he was heading on the defensive. And if it looked like he was heading in that direction, Robert was certain he would; that was a direction he couldn't travel toward, not now, not when he was doing so well. "How much did April tell you?"

"Enough."

"And how much is that?"

Joe eyed him carefully. "What? You have more to hide?"

"No, sir." Except for the time when he made April cry, all because it was the only defense mechanism he had known. Robert figured it was best not to share that piece of information with anyone who was going to judge him for it - and he was certain Joe would be one of those people. "I don't have anything to hide."

"Then it shouldn't bother you how much she's told me."

Robert had been through enough interrogations or tense conversations in his life not to be bothered by his comment; he simply remained still and stared at his potential father-in-law with calm eyes, because it was better not to attempt to intimidate the beast further. "Well, I think I have a right to know why you dislike me so much."

"Besides the age difference?"

"Yes, besides that." Of course, in his mind, that wasn't a good enough reason to dislike someone. It was a stupid reason, actually, because he could hurt April just as much as a man her age; a man her age could have extremely different goals, and if Joe had simply taken the time to get to know him like Karen had, he would see that there was nothing Robert wouldn't do for April. He'd compromise his career for her because - though he hadn't wanted to admit it - he still only had a few good years left. April had a whole career. In regards to life goals, he could compromise for her; he'd be content childless or having as many children with her as she wanted. But Joe didn't see that, because he couldn't get past the age or the past that he had only heard one side of.

"Weren't you the same guy who treated her terribly for months after she rejected you?"

"I was."

"And what makes you think I want that kind of person for my daughter?"

"I'm working on changing that," Robert answered, his voice low as he attempted to beat back the irritation. It was becoming difficult to maintain his self-control throughout the minutes that passed because right now all he wanted to do was fire back and defend himself, but he couldn't. No matter how much he didn't like the situation, this was April's father. And if he ever wanted his blessing to get married, he'd have to be nothing but nice. "So something like that doesn't happen again...So I'm not that person."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes," Robert told him firmly at the sarcastic, disbelieving tone, the frustration and growing anger in his voice evident. "That was all in the past. Right now I'm more focused on our present and future."

"And what is your future?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Your future," Joe repeated. "As in, your intentions toward April."

Robert scowled, the first time this weekend - a new personal best. "What? You think I'm just in this to use her?"

"Or a mid-life crisis." He frowned when Robert snorted. "Why else would you date someone twenty years younger than you?"

"Maybe because I love her," Robert answered, the agitation growing. He didn't bother fighting the need to attack anymore, and would ride it out before it got too much to handle. He'd pull back then, by standing up and walking away. "Or because age is just a number and when I originally asked her out because I didn't see a woman that I could just screw around with. I saw an intelligent woman who I could have conversations with - get to know - and that's exactly what happened. Don't get me wrong, your daughter is beautiful, but I'm not in this just for sex. This isn't just some mid-life crisis that's going to pass in a few months."

"So then what is it?"

Robert inhaled deeply for courage and answered, "I would like to marry your daughter." He was prepared for a lot of things coming here, but the angered look on Joe's face that was borderline disgust was not one of them. "Sir?"

"You want to marry my daughter?"

"Very much, yes."

"Not a chance in Hell."

Robert felt his heart fall from his chest for a moment, stunned by the answer. He could only stare for a moment, open-mouthed in shock, before the initial reaction subsided and he was left with nothing but anger and frustration. "I beg your pardon?"

"You can't marry my daughter."

"And why not?"

"Because she won't marry you."

Were Robert back at home, he would have fired back that April already accepted his proposal - and had a ring to prove it - and would most certainly marry him. But that would be hurting this man, making him feel like he couldn't trust his daughter or his daughter didn't trust him, and Robert wasn't about to ruin April's relationship with her father simply because he was angry. "And you know that?"

"I do," he answered confidently. "Because April won't marry someone if I don't support it."

"You don't even know me. You can't just say no without knowing a single thing about me."

"I can, and I have," Joe answered firmly. "Besides, April told me enough."

"It's been over a year! A lot can change in a year!" He had changed! He had gone from those months of treating her badly because he was trying to build up the walls around his heart and then he had fallen in love with her. When he did that, everything changed. He wasn't the same man who ignored her and was cruel; he was trying so desperately not to be that man with her anymore, because she deserved better.

"Men like you don't change."

"Oh, yeah, that's really constructive." He sighed when Joe only glared at his sarcastic shot. Running his fingers through his hair, he asked, "So you're telling me that April and I can't get married?"

"Yes."

Robert sighed heavily. "I don't...I don't even know what to say." He only shook his head, flabbergasted, and stood up slowly. Staring down at Joe one last time, he shook his head. "I just...I guess...You don't even know me. You know nothing about me besides something that happened over a year ago. Would it kill you? To get to know me and then make your decision about my request? Or...Would that be too much to ask?"

Joe only smiled softly. "It would."

Robert shook his head and walked into the house, stopping suddenly when April stood before him, as surprised to see him as he was her. He couldn't hide the surprise and irritation in his face, and knew by the way her face fell that she could see it, too. Without saying a word, he put his hands on her cheeks and kissed her forehead, bridge of her nose, and finally her mouth. With a soft sigh, he pulled away and stared at her gently, her face still surprised and perhaps a little concerned. "You know how much I love you right?"

"I do."

"Good."

"Robert," she grabbed his arms to stop him from walking away from her, "what happened?"

He sighed. "Your dad said we couldn't get married."

"What?"

"He didn't give his blessing, quite the opposite, actually. Told me that he was going to be able to convince you not to marry me. Said that you would never marry someone if he didn't support the relationship. So..."

April frowned. "So you're just giving up like that?"

"What?" He shrugged and raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you going to marry someone who your father doesn't support?"

"But you can't just give up like that!"

"I don't have much of a choice, April! He won't even listen me, doesn't even want to get to know me! How the hell can I work with something like that? He won't budge, and I can't fight him. Because that...That'd be putting you in the middle, and I won't do that. I can't hurt you like that."

April only shook her head and pulled away from him completely, her eyes hurt and agitated as she told him in a shaky voice, "You're hurting me by not fighting for me at all. So you know what, if you aren't going to fight for us, then I will."

Robert only watched her walk away from him, outside to where her father was still sitting. He had a bad feeling about this. A _reall_y bad feeling. And he knew why once the yelling started - because April wasn't a woman that ever raised her voice or grew so upset about something. Robert didn't like how he stood here, doing nothing, while she was out there fighting to the death for their relationship - and he wasn't even by her side. With a quick decision, Robert walked out on the porch, and stood beside her as she walked through fire for them.


	16. An Alternative Route

"April!" Robert sighed and leaned against the door she had just slammed in his face. Hitting the wood softly, he yelled over the running water, "We need to talk about this, April! You can't just keep avoiding me or the subject!"

When he heard nothing in response, he yelled, "I'm going to stand here until you come out!"

Finally, after a few moments the door opened and he could see she had washed her face because it was still a little wet. Robert sighed and leaned against the wall, staring at her, at the eyes which were both furious and close to tears. Right now all he wanted to do was hug her, but he knew any real touch would send her off the deep end, and she'd lose it completely. Instead, he grabbed the one thing he thought would help her and pulled the pillow off their bed, handing it to her.

Robert watched calmly and she screamed into it. "Feel better?"

April only looked at him before screaming into the pillow again.

"How about now?" That was enough to send her over the edge, and she started to cry violently. He didn't sigh, didn't frown, wasn't agitated at her display of emotions; instead of walking away, he took her in his arms, held her tightly, and brought her over to the bed so they could both lay down. Robert simply held her as she cried against his shoulder, because he didn't blame her for her tears. He wished, desperately, that there was something he could do to help that would ease her pain. The only thing he could think of doing to help would only bring her more misery, because leaving her...that'd be the worse thing he could do for either of them. "April?"

She only hit his chest in response, in anger, an outward expression of her rage. "I don't get it."

Robert kissed her hair gently. "I don't, either."

"He's my father! My father! And he won't even walk me down the aisle! He doesn't even want me to get married!"

Robert sighed softly in response, because there was nothing to say besides he understood - and holding her now while she experienced a meltdown was enough to show that he was here to support her, that he understood her pain and would stand by her through it. "Maybe we should put off getting married. At least...At least until your dad comes around."

April snorted. "You're a realist, Robert. You know as well as I do that he isn't going to come around."

"Your father needs to walk his daughter down the aisle."

April suddenly sprang up from the bed, tears streaming down her cheeks; she poked his chest firmly and told him, "You and I are getting married, Robert. Do you understand me? Don't you go saying that he needs to and you won't be that guy waiting for me because damn it, you will be that guy! I will marry you!"

"But how can you marry me when your own family doesn't even support you?"

"Because." She sniffled and wiped her tears away. "This isn't about them. This is about us. And we're all that matters. And I _will _marry you, damn it!"

"April-"

"No, stop talking." She shook her head. "You and me, we're in this to the end. You understand me?"

"But your dad and your sister, they-"

"They can go pound some salt."

He laughed from her phrase and the set look in her eyes, like she wasn't going to back down. "Sweetheart, we can't get married if your family isn't there."

"We're going to get married and your family isn't going to be there! I haven't even met your parents!"

"Well, that's because they're dead." He shrugged when she stared at him, open-mouthed, in surprise. "Don't look at me like that."

"Robert, your-"

"I'm fine," he told her, grabbing her hands. "Really. They died ten years ago. So...It won't even matter if they're not going to be there because there's no way they could be. But your parents...They're alive and healthy, and they should be at our wedding."

"But they aren't going to."

"Which is why I think we should wait," Robert told her gently. "Maybe...just see if your dad will come around."

"He won't."

"But he might."

"But he won't."

Robert sighed and shook his head. "So then what do you want to do? Just be in a relationship indefinitely? Wait forever for a man who is never going to budge?"

"No," she said after a moment, her eyes perking up. "We...We can get married without them."

"April, we can't-"

"Yes we can! I...We can!"

Robert stared at her, at how her face had turned from depressed to optimistic within seconds. "How are we doing to do that? Who's going to walk you down the aisle? Be your maid of honor?"

"I'll ask the Chief and...And Lexie can be my maid of honor. And our guests can all be people we work with. We could...We could do it next month!"

"April, you're getting ahead of yourself."

"No, I'm not!" She immediately jumped off the bed and pulled out a binder from underneath, throwing it on the bed beside him. "Look, these are all my plans. I mean...We don't have to do all of them. You know, it's going to be so soon and a lot of this is expensive, it was just my dream...But whatever, we can make it simple! We can get married in a church and have Callie, Arizona, Derek, Meredith, Jackson, Lexie, Alex, Owen, Cristina, and a bunch of other people be there! It can all be work friends and that'll work great because we got together at work and these people seem to be our family more than our own-"

"April." Robert put his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him and take a breath. "Stop."

Every instinct told her to pull away from him because right now the adrenaline was so strong that she couldn't think of doing anything but to keep moving. Her adrenaline and energy would push her through this moment of torment, it had to - because right now she wanted to believe that her shaking hands were because of excitement over their nuptials, not because she was upset. April had to believe that. She couldn't deal with the pain, not when it was this raw and fresh, not when the mere thought of her father being unsupportive brought tears to her eyes. "What?"

"Just take a minute."

"Robert, this'll all-"

"No, April." He shook his head. "You are doing this because you are hurt and you don't want to think about what happened in Colombus. You're doing this just on a whim, and we can't do that. We can't get married on a whim."

"I'm not."

"April-"

"I'm not!" She only shook her head. "I want to marry you and...And if they can't support that, then that's their problem. But I will marry you, and it will be a kickass wedding. Callie was able to get married without her parents, so damn it, I can to."

Robert sighed heavily. He hoped she was right. "Fine. You want to get married next month?"

"Yes, yes I would."

"All right. Then that's what we're going to do."

* * *

><p>Callie stared at the sheet along with Mark, the Chief, Arizona, and Cristina amidst the hustle of the residents and interns behind them. She tilted her head to the side, hoping the angle would change what she was seeing, and asked the group, "Are you guys all seeing what I'm seeing?"<p>

"Yeah," Mark answered.

"Quite an announcement," the Chief commented.

"Who would want to marry _him_?" Cristina asked, disbelieving.

Arizona began to laugh, and continued despite the stares of her four companions. She shook her head, glanced at all of them, and exclaimed, "Please. I called this the minute they started dating for real."

"So you're laughing?" Mark asked, surprised.

"Oh, yeah," Arizona answered with a smile. "What a way to announce something like this! Wish I had thought of it."

"But...You're laughing," Callie commented.

"Well, yeah! Who the hell do you think is going to stand beside him at that altar? You?" She pointed at Mark and shook her head. "No, it's going to be me."

"No, it won't," Mark told her. "It's not tradition to have a woman stand beside you as best man."

"And have they ever practiced tradition?" Arizona returned, pointing toward the announcement they had left only an hour before. "Look at this! This is so creative and untraditional. Getting married in a month is untraditional. Everything that they've done up until now has been untraditional. It would only look strange if they kept with tradition on the actual day."

The Chief only nodded is normal, observant, relaxed nod. His hands on his hips, he said, "Well, good for them."

Cristina shook her head. "I don't believe it."

"Well you better," Callie told her before she smiled.

"You guys know what this means right?" Mark asked, looking around the group who only stared at him, waiting for whatever he was going to say. He waited a moment before telling them, "This means we're going to party."

Arizona smiled. "I have to go find Dr. Stark. You guys just stand here stunned and I'll bask in the glory of predicting the future."

Arizona found Robert perhaps five minutes later in his office, looking over scans and diagrams for an upcoming surgery. She leaned against the doorframe because he had yet to notice her and smiled. It was surreal to think that he was getting married, that they had gone from combative colleagues to good friends. Gently, she knocked on the wall and gave him a bright smile when he looked up expectantly. "Congratulations."

He only stared at her. "On?"

She chuckled. "Getting married! Well...going to get married next month." Arizona scowled, not liking the idea when Robert only nodded before turning back to his charts. Taking a step into the room and shutting the door gently behind her, she asked, "You're not as excited as I thought you would be."

"I'm working."

"You've been wanting this ever since you proposed."

"I'm working," he told her again firmly. "I don't have time to focus on wedding preparations when I have a big surgery tomorrow."

Arizona crossed her arms. "You can pull that card with everyone but not me, Robert. What's going on?"

Robert sighed before he threw his pen down. Leaning back in his chair, he ran his fingers through his hair once before he admitted, "April doesn't want to get married."

"But you guys-"

"No, I know. But we're doing it for all the wrong reasons."

"What? Is she pregnant or something?" Arizona smiled. "Or does she need your insurance?"

Robert scowled at her attempt at humor. "No, she's not pregnant and no, she doesn't need my insurance. And no," he added after a moment, "she's not marrying me because she lost a bet."

Arizona laughed. "So...Then what's wrong? What's the wrong reason?"

He sighed. "Her father is very unsupportive. He basically said he wasn't going to walk her down the aisle if she and I were to get married. Didn't want any part of it."

"Why?"

"Because I'm twenty years older than she is."

Arizona scoffed. "That's a stupid reason."

"That," he told her, "and April has told them my more...unattractive qualities over time. Like...you know, how I treated her when she dumped me."

"Yeah, that was bad. But still..." Arizona shook her head. "Those are dumb reasons not to support your daughter in what she wants."

Robert looked up at her. "So is not supporting your daughter because she's marrying a woman."

Arizona sighed. "Yeah, that was tough for Callie. But...I still don't understand."

"She's doing this - getting married in a month - because she's trying to block out the pain. She's trying to push forward and keep moving even though her father won't be there for her. It's...It's her way of forgetting the pain just for a moment," Robert told his colleague, who had transformed into a wonderful friend. "And she thinks it's what I want, to get married."

"You don't want that?"

"I want it more than anything," he answered quietly, honestly.

"So what's the problem?"

"I don't want her to get married under the wrong pretenses," Robert told her finally. "I want to get married to her because it's what we both want, not because she wants to block out the thought that her father isn't there for her."

"But doesn't the end justify the means?"

Robert scowled before smiling. "I never would have pegged you to quote Machiavelli."

"He's right...Sometimes."

"And then I feel like she's only doing it to prove a point, to say to the world, 'Hey, I'm going to do what I want and there's nothing you can say that's going to stop me.' And that's great. I...I love that about her. Her ability to stand up to people is what attracted me to her in the first place. I just...It's complicated."

"If you have such a problem with it, why don't you talk to her about it?"

"Because every time I try to, she shuts me down. She doesn't want to talk about it."

"Because it causes her too much pain."

"And I can't do that to her," Robert told Arizona finally. "I can't be the reason why she has to feel pain like that. I already did that once, and I...It would kill me to see that again."

"So you're just going to keep your mouth shut and go along with it?"

"I just know this isn't for her, that this isn't what's going to make her happy. But I can't say anything. It's like a lose-lose situation." He shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe she's doing this because she's hoping that at the last minute he's going to change his mind and support her because - after all - she is his daughter. I just...I don't know because she doesn't want to discuss it."

"How the hell are you guys going to get married in a month?"

"We're doing it at Meredith's house," Robert told her, rubbing his eyes from exhaustion. "April already talked to her about it. And she's going to get a dress with Lexie and Meredith tomorrow on their day off."

"Is she going to wear an actual bridal gown?"

He snorted. "I have no idea. She won't even let me see the thing when she buys it."

Arizona shrugged. "Do you care if she doesn't get a gown?"

He frowned. "What the hell else would she wear?"

"A white dress," Arizona offered. "You ever see those beach weddings? Hell, Pam Anderson got married in a white bikini." She laughed when Robert stared at her, perplexed. "She doesn't need a gown. It's her wedding. She can wear whatever the hell she wants."

"I wouldn't care if we got married in jeans and a t-shirt."

"Well, you're a guy. Which reminds me, when are you going to get your tux?"

"I'm wearing a suit."

"What? You don't have a tux?"

He frowned. "You just said April can wear whatever the hell she wants - that she doesn't have to wear a gown but can wear something simpler. Why can't I wear a suit?"

"Because it's your wedding!"

"I'm wearing a suit."

Arizona scowled. "Don't be stubborn."

"April already said I could," he told her, almost like a child would boast to a sibling that his mother had allowed him to do something. Robert smirked. "So, there."

"Well I get to say whether the suit is decent enough."

"How can you mess up a suit?"

"Have you ever seen _Dumb and Dumber?_" Arizona asked. "They wore a sky blue suit and a bright orange one."

"That was supposed to be a comedy." He scoffed. "I am not going to wear something like that to my wedding. I'll just wear a suit and a black tie and be done with it."

"So..." Her tone suddenly grew quiet, as if she was afraid to broach this subject. "Who's going to stand up there as April's maid of honor?"

"Lexie," he answered, matter-of-fact.

"Ah."

Robert looked at her. "What?"

"Nothing."

"No," he leaned forward in his chair and inspected her closely, the way she looked down at her twisted hands. "What's bothering you?"

"Well...Who's going to stand up there with you?"

"Well you, of course."

Arizona looked up hopefully. "Really?"

"Yeah." Robert smiled at her joyful tone. "Who else would I have stand up there with me? You're..."

"Your best friend?"

He tried to not smile at her bright beam and instead nodded slowly. "Yeah, let's go with that."

Arizona smiled. "I'd be honored to be your best...person."

He didn't like how her face instantly turned into a frown. "Oh, now what?"

"Does this mean I have to take you to a strip club for your bachelor party?"

"I don't want to go to a strip club."

"Oh, thank God."

He smiled and shook his head. "We'll figure out all the details later, all right? We do have a month, and it's not like this is going to be a big party. It's going to be simple, given the time constraint. And it's going to be small, too. Just some close work friends and that's it."

"Exactly how you like it?"

Robert nodded. "Exactly."

A new, important thought came to her so Arizona asked, "So who's going to walk April down the aisle?"

He shrugged. "She's going to ask the Chief, I think. But he might say no. He's never really been that kind of father figure with her."

"So what if he says no?"

"I have no idea. I'm kind of hoping he says yes, because I don't think she could take that devastating blow twice in the same week."

"I'm sorry, Robert."

Robert sighed and stared up at the ceiling as he ran his fingers through his hair. In a quiet, pained voice, he told her with a shake of his head, "No one's more sorry than me."

* * *

><p>"Hey."<p>

Jackson looked up from the scan he was looking at. After the Chief's clinical trial had won the Harper Avery Award - which was what Jackson had wanted all along - he was swamped with work that the Chief gave him; over the weeks, he had been put back on the clinical trial, his name attached with the Chief's when it finally would be published. Now, however, it was about paperwork and testing, all the boring parts of the job. Which, he thought, was why April made a perfect Chief Resident instead of him. She was great with paperwork and the boring aspects of their job - the parts that didn't involve surgery - and he was proud in moments like this to call her his friend, to be the one who had known her the longest. Because of their history, he could tell she was itching to tell him something. "Hey, April."

"Are you busy?"

"For you? I've got two minutes instead of one."

She smiled before shutting the door behind her. "So, I guess you've heard."

"Yeah." Jackson smiled. "Congratulations. You're going to make a wonderful bride. Just don't turn into a bridezilla."

"Never."

"So," he wheeled his chair to fully face her, "what's up?"

"Well..." She breathed in for courage, her breath slightly shaky, "the wedding's going to be in a month."

"Yeah, I saw that." He chuckled. "Dr. Stark going to fly your family out here for the nuptials or are you going to fly everyone out to Columbus?"

"Well, that's the thing."

Jackson frowned as her face fell and she looked down at her gym shoes. "April, what's wrong?"

"My family isn't coming out for the wedding. They...They won't be attending."

His face, too, fell. "Are you kidding me?"

"No, my dad doesn't like Rob - Dr. Stark - at all. He, um, is extremely disapproving of the relationship and he refused to walk me down the aisle or even attend my wedding because he doesn't want me to marry Dr. Stark."

"April-"

"It's all right."

Jackson knew she was attempting to hide her pain, and he let it pass - because there were things she didn't like to talk about and, as her friend, he had learned it wasn't his place to push her on things with such importance, things that brought her such pain. "So...What are you going to do?"

"Have to find people who'll take my dad's place and my sister's."

"Ah? Maid of honor?"

"Yeah. Lexie's going to do it." She fidgeted slightly before staring at him. "There, um... There was exactly something I wanted to come here and ask you. In...In regards to the wedding."

"You want me to be one of the groomsmen?" He smiled. "Because I think I'd look freaking amazing in a tuxedo, just saying."

April smiled. "That wasn't what I wanted to ask you, actually."

"Well then what is it?" He frowned. "You don't want me to be an usher, do you? Because I think after years of friendship and support that I would earn more than helping people to their seats and passing out-"

"No, it wasn't that, either."

"Then what is it? Am I even in the wedding at all? Because I'll take back what I said about being an usher, really, I-"

"Jackson," she cut him off firmly. When he stopped and she realized she had his full attention, April asked, the confidence in her voice growing, "I was wondering if you would want to walk me down the aisle."

"Me? Walk you down the aisle?"

"Well..." April felt she had to explain her choice and told him, "You know, first with Alex and what happened at Owen's party and then when we did the trauma unit and you were only friend then, and when I became Chief Resident and...You've had my back ever since we started at Mercy West. You've always been the big brother I've never had, Jackson."

He smiled, finally. "You really want me to walk you down the aisle? To give you away?"

"Yeah."

"I'd be honored."

"Really?"

Jackson nodded at her surprised yet relieved face. "Thank you."

"No." She shook her head. "Thank you. At least someone around here is supportive enough of my relationship. At least...At least I know I can count on you."


	17. Three People in this Marriage

**A/N: There is a basically a month between the last chapter and this chapter. I just felt like anything in between would be pure fluff, and I like to have progression each chapter, so I decided to spare you what would be a terrible attempt at fluff and just keep the ball rolling.**

****Also, not that it's really relevant to this chapter, but because I have Owen/Cristina in here, I think I should mention that for this fanfic, the whole pregnancy thing never happened. Cristina was never pregnant and they never had that big fight.****

* * *

><p>Robert sighed heavily as he laid down in their bed, careful not to wake his fiancee - who would become his bride in less than twenty four hours - and rested peacefully against the pillow. Despite his attempts to creep into the apartment, somehow he had woken her up. April rolled on her side and opened an eye at him, the other one covered by the blanket she had wrapped around her body snugly. He smiled and pushed aside a stray hair. "Hey, beautiful."<p>

"What are you doing home so soon?"

He shrugged and rolled on his back. "Just wasn't for me."

April smiled, finally, through her groggy daze. "Really?"

Rolling his eyes, he outstretched his arm so she could snuggle against him, her head resting on his shoulder. He knew she would fall asleep here. They'd have a five minute conversation about his evening and hers, and she'd fall asleep like this, on his shoulder. Sure, he'd wake up sore in the morning and his arm would have fallen asleep - and he would have slept in the same clothes he'd worn for the past twenty-four hours - but it was worth it. Because tomorrow morning they'd wake up, part their separate ways, go to the hospital for their shifts, and then they'd go to Meredith's house and - in front of all their friends - become man and wife.

In less than twenty-four hours, they would be married.

Robert had half-expected pangs of worry, pre-wedding jitters - like he had before marrying Lauren - but as he lay beside April now, there was nothing but this sweet tranquility which warmed his soul. "Yes, really."

"Well that's good to know."

"What are you talking about?" He asked, frowning.

"Well, it's nice to know that I'm not marrying a man who's going to go to strip clubs all the time."

He would let her live in this moment, and didn't have the heart to tell her that strip clubs had never been his thing. It wasn't because he didn't enjoy it - because there were certainly times when he had - it's just there was something unappealing about a woman giving him a lap dance, then moving onto someone else. He didn't like that this was some woman who would do the same thing with hundreds of other men, that he was no one special. Ever since Lauren, Robert had told himself that wouldn't happen again; going to a strip club, in his mind, was a lesser degree of his failed first marriage.

He smiled and kissed her head gently. "Why would I want to go to a strip club?"

"Well..."

"No," he cut her off, smiling again. "Why would I go to a strip club when everything I could ever want is right here? You're way better than a stripper."

"I better be." She smiled softly when she heard him chuckle. "So, if you didn't want to go in the first place, why did you?"

"Hm?"

"Why'd you let Arizona take you to a strip club for your bachelor party if that wasn't what you wanted to do?"

"It wasn't Arizona's idea."

"Well then who's was it?"

"Mark's," Robert answered before he chuckled. "And Arizona fought him. Oh, you couldn't believe how much she was fighting him on it. I don't think I'd ever seen her so fired up. She was yelling at him about how he didn't know me at all and he was just doing this for himself and this was my bachelor party. She was pissed."

"Well, yeah. She probably didn't want to go to a strip club either. So how'd you guys end up going, anyway?"

"I have no idea. I just went along for the ride."

"And you didn't even enjoy it," April commented, sighing softly before she took his hand and loosely held it in her own. "Well...Did you have _any_ fun?"

"After the strip club, yeah. Arizona and I went out to dinner at this karaoke bar. And let me tell you, there are a lot of people in Seattle who can't sing to save their lives, but try anyway." He paused. "And it was funny as hell."

She smiled. "Did you and Arizona sing?"

"Hell, no."

April laughed. "Can you even sing?"

"Hell no!" He shook his head. "I'm much better with a scalpel than lyrics. Besides, if I went up there and even attempted to sing, people would laugh us off stage like they had the others. And I _never _do anything that's going to get me laughed at."

"Because that's not healthy for your ego at all."

He smiled. "How'd your bachelorette party go?"

Shrugging, she told him, "Lexie got strippers, too."

"I don't even want to know."

"Okay."

He sighed softly and stared up at the ceiling; he was barely able to see anything in the dark, but that didn't matter. He had lived in this apartment long enough to be able to walk around with a blindfold on and not hit anything. Certainly Robert had enough practice over the months, maneuvering around the apartment at night with all the lights off because he didn't want to wake April up while he prepared for a shift. Remembering shifts and their work tomorrow, he asked, "We don't have any surgeries tomorrow, do we?"

"In the morning, we do." She sighed. "You have to remove a tumor and I have to assist Owen in the pit, and whatever surgeries that'll entail. But we shouldn't have anything at the end of our shifts, so we'll be fine to get ready and then..."

"Get married."

"Yeah."

Robert kissed her hair gently. "You nervous?"

"It's a good nervous." She firmly took hold of his hand, which had been lazily tracing a line from her neck, down her shoulder and arm, until he hit her waist. "But I'm not getting cold feet, Robert. It's just...a big step."

"Yes it is. And you're sure it's a step you want to take?"

"Robert." She groaned slightly as she moved away from him; she leaned against her arm and stared down at him, barely able to see his face through the dark. She sighed softly before she told him, "It would take something major and catastrophic for me to back out, honey. So unless there's a major disaster and we can't leave work tomorrow, you and I will be getting married. And nothing's going to change that."

"I believe you." Robert decided not to tell her that he had called her mother a couple weeks ago to inform her of the nuptials - in case she, or her daughters, wanted to come. April had refused to talk to her father in the past month, and it became clear by her mother's reaction that she had neglected to tell her other relatives about the wedding - which he wasn't sure why, but he wouldn't doubt her, not when she was so upset.

In all honesty, however, he had called Karen so she could tell her husband, because he desperately hoped that Joe would change his mind and come out to Seattle to at least watch his daughter get married - if not walk her down the aisle. He wanted it so badly, but he didn't have the heart to tell Aprll he had called because if she knew that he asked, and Joe didn't come, she'd be heartbroken. He couldn't bear to see that from her, not on what was supposed to be happiest day of her life.

Some things were just better off not known.

"We should sleep."

"We should," he agreed softly before smiling. "But will we?"

April chuckled. "We're getting married tomorrow. You can't wait twenty-four hours."

"I can," he told her. "Doesn't mean I want to. There's a difference."

"I see."

Robert nodded. "So...Are we going to have sex tonight?"

"No."

"So I'm getting my hopes up for nothing?"

"Yes. But...We will have sex tomorrow night."

He snorted. "We'd better."

April smiled before she laid down beside him again. "Honey?"

"Yeah?"

Can I keep my name?"

"If you want. I won't be offended if you don't. For our work, I wouldn't except anything less."

"Thank you."

Robert kissed her hair one more time. "Anything for you."

* * *

><p>Robert was thankful that the day had gone by without much problem. He hadn't lost a patient - and neither had April after she was forced into surgery with Owen - and now he was busy in the locker room, fixing his tie before he was to get into his car and drive over to Meredith's house. The butterflies in his stomach were more alive now than ever before; he never was a nervous person but the thought of marrying the woman he loved, <em>finally<em>, was enough to send chills down his spine. He sighed softly and stared at his reflection in the mirror before turning around to face the other men who, too, were getting ready for the nuptials. "You guys ready?"

Derek looked up from tying his shoe and smiled. "Don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"Yeah," Mark agreed. "It can't be anything like Mer and Derek's first wedding."

Robert frowned. "First wedding?"

Derek shook his head before explaining, "We got married on a post-it. It was three years ago."

"But you guys actually did get married, right?"

"Before we adopted Zola," Derek answered proudly before he stood. Straightening out any creases in his suit jacket, he told the group, "Well, I'll see you guys there. I have to go make sure Meredith doesn't have a meltdown taking care of Zola and helping April."

Mark frowned. "She deals with emergencies every day."

"Yeah," Derek agreed, "but not when it comes to a wailing baby and bride. She's...Not the calmest person in those situations."

"I'll, uh, I'll join you," Owen told Derek, coming around the corner. "Cristina's probably ready to come running back to the hospital, too."

Before long Robert realized it was only him and Jackson in the locker room. Jackson was leaning against one of the lockers, already dressed, and stared at the older surgeon carefully. Catching his gaze in the mirror, Robert turned around with slightly irritated eyes and asked, "Something the matter?"

"She and I have been friends for a while."

Robert scowled. "What? Are you going to tell me that you're in love with her?"

"No, no." Jackson shook his head. "It's just...I feel like I should say something - since I've known her the longest and she obviously trusts me enough to want me to walk her down the aisle...To give her away."

Robert turned around completely. "Say what's on your mind, Jackson."

He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You won't be mad or frustrated or something?"

"No." Robert sighed and began to work at his cuff links, giving up after a few moments. "Trust me, Jackson. Nothing you can say can be worse than what her father's said to me. At least I know you're going to be rational about it and you won't tell me that I can't marry April. So, go ahead. I'm listening."

"If you hurt her I'll kill you."

Finally, Robert smiled. "Is that all?"

Jackson nodded. "I think so. It's not like I can give you some advice on marriage. Just know...I could hurt you, if I wanted."

Smiling again, Robert told him, "I'll see you in there, Jackson."

Taking that as a cue to leave, Jackson only nodded, gave Robert a supportive pat on his shoulder, and walked out of the room. He held the door open, however, for Arizona who was coming in with a spring in her step. She smiled happily and waited until the door closed before she gave Robert a smile. It wasn't until he turned to face her did she ask, "So, are you ready to take this leap of faith? Get married? Ball in chain? Never look at another woman again?"

Robert smirked before he lifted his hands. "Can you help?"

Arizona rolled her eyes. "Men are helpless."

He watched her fix his cuff links and asked, "Have you been to see her yet?"

Arizona nodded. "I have."

"And?"

"She looks beautiful," Arizona told him, smiling as his neutral face suddenly transformed into a bright beam. She remarked with a smile of her own, "You look like a boy who is about to take the girl of his dreams to prom."

"Oh, this is much better than junior prom."

"You took the girl of your dreams to junior prom?"

Robert nodded. "Heather Marley. She was a year older than me and every guy wanted to take her to prom. She sat in front of me in math class for two years and one day I finally got up the courage to ask her. She said yes, of course, because I'm just that amazing."

Arizona smiled. "Nice to see your ego started long before you became a surgeon."

"I think she said yes," he lifted his other arm so she could fix the second cuff link, "because I was the one guy who wasn't constantly bothering her or trying to flatter her. I just asked her, plain and simple, and told her it was all right if she said no. I wouldn't be crushed or try to make her life miserable, and I definitely would have continued talking to her. To my surprise she immediately said yes."

"And was junior prom amazing?"

He nodded again and smiled. "My first kiss."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah. But I'll never forget the moment I rang on her door. I was so nervous that I hadn't eaten anything all day - and didn't eat anything while at prom either. I was that giddy little teenager, so in love with this girl that I was certain I would faint at the sight of her."

"And did you?"

Robert shook his head. "No. I just smiled, speechless. One of the best moments of my life. She looked amazing."

"I'm sure tonight's going to top that."

"Not a doubt in my mind." He sighed when she finished fixing his cuff links. "Thank you. How's my tie?"

"Your tie is fine."

"See? I'm not totally helpless." He smiled when she rolled her eyes. "You have the rings?"

"In my purse. You want to see them?"

"Yes." He paused. "No."

"Yes or no?"

"Yes."

Arizona nodded and began to open her purse, frowning when he told her not to show him. She pulled them out, anyway, cradling the small box in her hands, and reminded him, "You saw these when you and April went to pick them out. It's not like you haven't seen them before."

"Yeah, but this is different. This is the day."

"Do you want to see them or not?"

He sighed. "No."

Arizona put the rings back in her purse. "So, you ready to marry the woman of your dreams?"

"I think I need a minute."

Arizona watched, patiently, as he turned around and leaned against the sink, trying to keep his hands from shaking as he stared down into the white bowl. She thought for a moment that he would start to shake, but he only remained still, his breathing meditative. Finally, he took one deep breath and pushed himself away from the sink. She smiled to see his eyes were glossed over, his body tense in anticipation. "Now you ready?"

Robert only nodded. "I can't believe this is finally happening. I just, It's..."

"It's like you're somehow becoming complete," she finished for him with a smile. "Come on, Robert. Let's get you married."

* * *

><p>"You look lovely," Lexie told her friend, smiling as April inspected herself in the mirror. "You sure you want to keep your hair down?"<p>

"I've had my hair up all day," April answered. It was simple, straightened, and normal, but somehow today it just seemed so perfect and right. She turned to face Lexie and smiled brightly. "This is actually happening, isn't it?"

"You are marrying the Grinch," Cristina told her dryly, shrugging when Lexie shot her a look and Meredith laughed. "What? She is."

Lexie rolled her eyes. "You ready?"

"Is...Is everyone out there?"

"They are," Meredith told her, smiling. "Now all we have to do is get you down that aisle."

April breathed in for courage. "Okay. I think I'm ready."

"Oh, wait!" Callie came from out of no where, jumping in the room. "We need to make sure you have all your things."

April frowned. "All my things?"

"Yeah," Callie answered, smiling brightly. She loved weddings, a girly girl at heart. "Your something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. You can't get married without them, April."

"She's got the wedding dress," Cristina told them. "That's something new."

The whole group laughed at her bluntness, the emotionless way she said it.

"And," Lexie continued, "your something blue is your garter."

"Something borrowed is the necklace," Meredith offered. It was the same necklace her mother had worn at her wedding, because she hadn't used it when she married Derek and it was just sitting there. She decided not to tell April that, however, in case she was a superstitious person.

"And something old?" April asked.

"That's your fiancee, of course," Callie told her, smiling when everyone laughed. She inspected April one last time. "You look great. You ready?"

"Yeah," she answered, her voice low in amazement and anticipation. She turned to grab the small bouquet of flowers, stopping immediately when she saw who had just walked through the door. "What are you doing here, Dad?"

He took a step into the room, not paying attention to the other women as he told her, "We need to talk, April."

"Dad, don't you think-"

"It can't wait," he answered seriously.

"I..." April turned toward the other women who stood, just as stunned as she. She thought for a moment before asking, "Can you guys give us a minute? I'll...I'll have you come back in when I'm ready."

"What do you want me to tell Robert?" Lexie asked.

"Just...Tell him I'm still getting ready." April turned back to her father once all the women had left. "Dad, what is this all about? Are you going to walk me down the aisle?"

"No, April, I'm not."

She frowned and for a moment thought she was going to throw up. Her voice cracking, she asked, "So what? You're here to try to stop me from getting married?"

He didn't answer, which told her more than words ever could.

* * *

><p>Robert smiled when Arizona gave him an encouraging nudge toward the pastor who was officiating the ceremony. He shook his head when she only smiled proudly and turned to stare out into the crowd. It was a small group, mostly work colleagues and friends. He liked it that way, though; these were people who had once hated him and now were guests attending his wedding. He smiled and turned back to Arizona. "You still have the rings?"<p>

"I have them," she reassured him. "Don't worry."

He twisted his hands together. "Just...Don't lose them."

"I won't," she answered with a shake of her head. "Have a little faith in your best person."

Smiling, Robert turned to stare out into the crowd again. He saw Lexie coming toward them, but didn't say anything until she was standing beside him, away from all the people who could hear their conversation. He asked, "What? Is it taking longer or something to do her hair? Did something happen with the dress?"

Lexie wasn't sure if he was joking for the second one, but she pushed through it anyway. "Robert, I...We should talk somewhere else."

He frowned. "What are you talking about? She's all right, isn't she? She's...She's not hurt?"

"No, Robert, she's fine."

"Then what's the problem?" He felt panic run through his heart. "Do I need to see her? I...Maybe I should talk to her."

"No, Robert."

"What the hell is going on?" Arizona asked, seeing that Robert's hands had started to shake and his voice was about to crack. She waited until Lexie met her eyes before she asked the question again.

Lexie sighed. "She's not coming."

"What?"

"I...She's not coming."

"What the hell does that mean?" Arizona asked, seeing that Robert had not found the words. He was so surprised she thought all the color had left his face, and rightfully so. It wasn't even her wedding day and she felt the panic send shock waves to her brain. "Lexie, come on."

"The wedding's off."

Lexie could only watch as Robert's eyes frantically moved around the room before he suddenly pushed past her and walked from the living room, his movements unsteady and sharp; she thought for a moment he was going to fall completely on the floor, his muscles refusing to work, a physical manifestation of the pain in his heart. It wasn't long before she saw him open the front door and leave. Lexie was certain the loud echo wasn't from the slam of the door, but the breaking of his heart.


	18. Drinking Games

"Robert, come on!" Arizona chased after him, through the rain, sighing when he stopped finally at the end of the driveway. He simply stood, his head bent as the rain hit him. She thought for a moment that he would stand there forever, the pain overtaking his soul into the only response his body could provide was falling to the ground. She sighed heavily and took a few steps toward him, afraid to touch him. "Robert?"

He looked up toward the cloudy sky before turning around to face her. "What?"

She took a step toward him and said, "I'm going to be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"To see April, to...To see if this is the end or if it's just not your wedding day."

Robert only nodded slowly before throwing his arms up in the air. "Why?"

Arizona thought she would never hear anything more heartbroken than the pain in his voice, the way he questioned why all this was happening and why the hell it had to happen to him. She wished she had an answer for him, but having none, she responded carefully, "Because it's what you need. And as your friend, I have to give you what you need - even if it's not what you want."

"Okay." He turned around, his back to her so she wouldn't see a facial expression of his agony but a physical one as his head hung low, the rain pelting him.

"Robert?"

No answer.

"Don't move, okay?"

He snorted, the sound faint through the thunder. "I'm not going anywhere, don't worry." He chuckled suddenly before running his fingers through his increasingly wet hair. "There's no way for me to freaking go! I can't go home! She was my home!"

Robert wasn't sure how long she was gone, or that she had even left. He hadn't even heard her heels as she walked away quickly. All he could hear was the little voice in his head telling him that he knew this was going to happen all along - because he never got his happy ending. Something just always had to come along and ruin his happiest moments, and he should have known that on what was supposed to be one of the best days of his life he would feel the most pain. The torment that ripped through him was agonizing, paralyzing even because he didn't want to move. Robert wasn't sure he had the strength to do anything right now except to maybe stand here and hope that the wind would blow him away.

How could she do this to him? Robert wasn't sure he knew the answer, or that he even wanted to know.

The sound of heels behind him made him turn, hopeful, because maybe she had changed her mind and it was simply a case of cold feet. He could live with that; cold feet was easy to get over, but complete abandonment, he wasn't sure he could get over that. His face fell, however, and he sighed. "Back so soon?"

Arizona looked almost as tormented as he felt. "Robert, I'm so sorry."

He only breathed in, his breath ragged, because any other action would bring too much pain. His voice cracked again as he asked, "Did she say why?"

Arizona frowned when he could barely look at her but instead stared at the door to Meredith's house, as if waiting for his fiancee to come running out after him. "Her dad is in there."

"Her dad!" He chuckled and shook his head. "Her dad! She's doing this because of him! God I-"

Unsure how to console him - if there was any way she could - Arizona moved toward him despite the angry look in his eyes or the way he turned away from her like he felt lie a hideous creature who wasn't worthy of another's love and compassion. She didn't let him get too far however, when she put her hands on his shoulders and forced him to look at her. "Robert."

He looked down at the ground before finally meeting her gaze. "What?"

"Let's get you home."

"I don't want to go home."

"What do you want to do then?"

"I want to get married. I want her to come out of those doors and tell me she made a mistake and she really wants to get married! I want her! I don't want my life and path to be decided by some guy who can't see past a goddamn birthday! I want...I want this to not hurt so goddamn much."

"You can go back in there and talk to her...convince her that she's making a mistake."

Robert shook his head. "It won't do any good. She won't listen now that he's gotten to her."

"You can't just give up this easily."

He threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. "What choice do I have?"

"You can fight!"

"Fight for what? A woman who doesn't want to be with me? A woman who's going to listen to her father and let him decide her future than her own heart? A woman who's going to make me love her with everything that I have and then rip my heart out and show it off to the entire world?" He shook his head. "No. I'm not fighting for that."

"Robert-"

"She can't do this," he told her, the anger in his voice coming out. "She can't...It's not fair and it's not right and I am not fighting anymore. I'm done. I'm too tired of this shit. I'm done. She wants to end it? Fine. I won't bother her ever again. I won't...I'll pretend that everything we had never happened and that I never loved her and that I would have given my life for her. I'll just...I'll become nothing to her again, because that's what she so obviously wants."

"I'm sure that's not it."

"Oh, I am. Because I'm only someone when she wants a shoulder to cry on or a warm bed to come home to. I'm only the guy she wants when she needs me."

"This isn't you, Robert, it's your pain. You're hurting and-"

"And I'm done!"

She knew he didn't mean it; he was so upset that he was saying things - things which were meant to hurt - and Arizona was glad he was saying them to her, not to April. Because at least she understood, at least she wasn't the target of his rage. If he spoke them to April, unleashed his anger at her, then he'd say something he would be unable to take back. "You need to get out of the rain, Robert."

He sighed heavily before shaking his head. "Who's on call tonight?"

"What?"

"Who's on call in peds?"

"Newman," Arizona answered, "Newman and Garza, I think. Why?"

Robert nodded. "Think they'll need an extra set of hands?"

"You can't go back into work, not like this."

"_This_ is precisely why! Work...I can escape this at work! At work I can focus on something other than my fiancee just left me for no reason other than I'm older than she is!" Robert groaned in agony, wanting nothing better than to break something right now. He was unable to rationalize, his pain weighing his thoughts done. Never before had he felt so helpless and powerless and anguished. He hated that she had brought him to this, that he had loved and trusted her enough to think she wouldn't hurt him like this.

Well, he learned his lesson now - a lesson he thought he had learned with Lauren. April had put the final nail in his coffin and there was no turning back, no way that he would trust anyone else like he had trusted her. He couldn't go through this pain anymore.

Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair. "Where's the closest bar?"

"Joe's."

"Not Joe's. Everyone goes to Joe's. A...different bar," Robert asked. "Something low key and dark and a place where I can drink until I pass out."

Arizona sighed before she grabbed his arm. "Come on. We'll stop at your apartment and grab you a change of clothes before we go."

"Aren't you going to change?"

"We'll stop at my apartment, too." Arizona led him toward her car, not surprised when he simply came along, like he had no control of his movements anymore and he could be manipulated as easily as silly putty. Maybe this was what happened, she thought, when a man reached the end of his rope, when a man who used to never feel was forced to confront one of the worst moments of his life. Robert was starting to shut off all his emotions, and the way she could move him so easily was a physical manifestation of that emotional shutdown. He didn't feel anything anymore besides a numbness, which he probably thought, was a hell of a lot better than pain.

Because, after all, feeling nothing was better than feeling the worst pain of his life.

* * *

><p>"Did I tell you..."<p>

Arizona smiled when he fell against the counter of the bar from his drunken stupor, his voice trailing off as he chuckled and laid his head against his arms. "Tell me what?"

"About my first wedding," he answered before his eyes opened wide. "Oh, no, I'm sorry! My _only _wedding!"

Arizona knew the laugh was an attempt to hide his misery, and the soft chuckle was caused by the almost empty beer glass in his hand. "No, you didn't tell me about your first wedding."

"My _only _wedding," he corrected, his speech slurred. Robert suddenly pushed himself off the countertop and leaned back on his bar stool. He smiled. "It was a good day. Big church, about a hundred people, and lots and lots of flowers. Such a girly wedding."

"I take it you didn't like it?"

"Oh, no, I loved it. It was what Lauren wanted, and what she wanted was just fine with me." He shrugged. "And I tried to do that with April, too, and look where it got me! Alone in a bar with nothing but a bottle of beer!"

"You're not alone," Arizona told him softly, lifting up her own glass. "You have me. And I'm not going anywhere."

He snorted. "That's what they all say."

She sighed. "Robert, for one thing, I am not romantically involved with you in any way. And for another, I'm your friend. As your friend, my job is to never leave you - even when I want to kill you."

"That's a wedding vow, you know," he told her quietly. "For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live, until death do you part...Well I'm not dead! And she's not dead! So where the hell did it all go?"

"Robert, you haven't said those vows yet."

"We should have!" He slammed his fist down on the table again and groaned in his misery, his eyes brimming with tears. "I should have stood before her and said those vows but no! No! That didn't happen, did it? We were supposed to be man and wife - or woman and husband for all I give a shit! I was supposed to married! We were supposed to start a life together and she went and..."

Arizona simply listened as he continued a barrage of swears, not directed entirely at April but she could tell he wanted nothing more than to cuss her out. His swears suddenly turned toward the beer he spilled - and she was thankful he took a week off for their honeymoon so the alcohol could leave his system. There was no way she'd even let him near a patient knowing how much he was going to drink tonight. Finally, his swears ended and he turned silent, contemplative, most likely thinking over all the memories he had with April, perhaps trying to wipe them from his mind. "Robert?"

He slowly tilted his head to look at her. "Yeah?"

"Want to play some darts?"

He laughed. "What? I can't even sit up right! What makes you think I - Yeah, let's go play some darts."

She watched him practically fall off the bar stool and, before joining him, turned to the bartender and told him to cut Robert off. She helped Robert over to the darts - because they were really the only two people in the bar since it was near closing time and last call had happened ten minutes ago - and gave him a set. "You'll be all right?"

"Hell yeah!" He snickered. "I'm gonna kick your ass."

Arizona nodded, disbeliving. "Sure you are."

Robert nodded in agreement and swung around to face the board. He seemed to lose his balance, however, because he tilted backwards and nearly fell on the floor. "Oh, maybe I shouldn't play darts."

"The room spinning?"

"No," he answered with a chuckle. "I'm seeing two boards."

"Yeah," she took the darts from him, "maybe you should just sit down and watch me play."

"Can I trash talk you?"

She frowned. "No."

"But that's what good friends do!" He fell backwards and landed in a bar stool, slumping backwards as if he was going to fall asleep in the chair. "You know, Arizona..."

She turned to him before throwing the dart. "Yeah?"

"You're a damn good friend and I'm lucky to have you."

She smiled. "Yes, I am."

Robert snorted. "And you say I have the ego! Ha!"

Arizona shook her head before throwing all three of her darts. When she turned back to face him, she was surprised to see a surprised look on his face - which was much different than the drunken one he had found himself in. "Robert?"

"Look, it's Mark! And Callie! Hey, guys!" He got up off his seat and attempted to walk over to the, slipping over his feet. He grabbed onto Mark's arm, who was trying to hold him up. "How's it going?"

"Looks like we're doing better than you," Callie commented dryly, inspecting him closely and moving away - almost repulsed - at the smell of alcohol from his body. "You could use a shower."

"Or no more liquor," Mark commented as he pushed Robert back into a chair. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Bartender cut him off a drink ago," Arizona answered. "But he's only had four."

"In an hour?"

"Seems like it, doesn't it?"

Mark sighed. "You're hammered, Stark."

Robert nodded. "Wouldn't you be, too?"

Arizona patted his shoulder gently in support before turning her attention to her wife and the father of their child. "Where is Sophia? In the car?"

"Hell, no." Mark answered, offended. "I wouldn't leave her alone in the car."

"So then where is she?"

"Meredith and Derek are taking her for the night," Callie answered. "They said she and Zola would get along as playmates and that Robert would probably need a place to crash."

"April go back to the apartment?"

"Just to collect some of her things," Callie said. "And then she's going to spend the night at Meredith and Derek's. I think she already went, so if he needs to go, he can."

"So he'll be coming home with us?"

"Or me," Mark answered. "I do have the extra bedroom and he'd just be sleeping on your couch otherwise."

"No." Arizona shook her head. "He'll come home with us. You don't even know him, Mark. You shouldn't have to deal with him as this drunken mess - not to mention the vomiting and intense hangover tomorrow."

"So, what? We're going to stay up all night to make sure he doesn't choke on his own vomit?"

"No," Arizona told Callie with a shake of her head. "_I _will. He's my friend, I'm the best person, so it's my job. I'll take care of him."

"Just throw me behind a dumpster!"

Mark, Arizona, and Callie all turned to look at him. Callie asked, "Why would we do that?"

"Becuase that's how I feel right now!"

Arizona sighed. "We can't just leave him. He needs to have a place to sleep tonight, and he won't go back to his apartment and I don't want him in a hotel room."

"So he's sleeping on our couch?"

"Yes," Arizona answered. "Unless you have a problem with that."

"No, no, not at all." Callie put her hands up in self-defense, knowing better than to mess with Arizona when she had her mind set on something.

"Good." She turned to Robert. "Hey, you're coming home with us."

"No!" He stood up, his balance shaky. "I don't want to be an incon-inconven..."

"Inconvenience?" Mark finished for him.

"Yeah, that!" He chuckled and clasped Mark's shoulder. "Can I ask you something?"

"Um, sure."

"How the hell is it you managed to sleep with all those nurses and doctors and women and people?" Robert chuckled again. "Because I wish I could learn how to do that."

"How to sleep with women?"

"No!" He laughed. "How to not care! How to be able to sleep with whoever you want or attract women like flies to a wall! I want to be able to do that!"

"See, you kind of can't."

Robert moved backward, almost insulted. "It's because I'm green, isn't it?"

Mark looked surprised and confused, turning to Arizona for support, who offered, "It's from Jim Carrey's version of _How the Grinch Stole Christmas._ It's a line he used in the movie."

Mark only nodded slowly, not really understanding but going along with it anyway. "I didn't say that."

"No, but you thought it." He suddenly leaned against Mark again, his voice quiet as he told him, "And that's okay because...because it's true, right? Because I'm the Grinch and who the hell would want anything to do with a furry green man who lives on top of Crumpet Mountain and hates - no, _loathes _- all the whos in Whoville?"

Mark looked toward Arizona with a scowl, turning back to Robert when she shrugged - her way of saying that it was peds thing. "I'm sure you're all right."

Robert nodded. "I know I'm right. I'm always right, just not with women. Because I mess that area up the most, apparently. Because I'm not good enough! Because...because I'm the goddamn Grinch." He propelled himself away from walk and clumsily walked toward the door, grabbing his coat off the hook. "Are you coming or not, Robbins?"

She sighed and followed after him. This was going to be a long night.


	19. Unrequited Love

"Stop making that noise!" Robert covered his ears with the pillow as the blender roared from the close kitchen that felt so far away. He groaned and sighed in relief when the horrible, eardrum shattering noise ended; his head, however, continued to pound. Rolling over to see the noise - because this wasn't an apartment he recognized - he scowled to find Arizona in the kitchen, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt while she blended something that was blood red. "What the hell is that?"

"This," she started the blender again and watched him recede back into the couch cushions away from the noise, "is going to help that nasty hangover you've got going for you."

Robert groaned. "Can't you do this later?"

"No. You're going to need this now."

He sighed and rested his head against the pillow. "Oh, Arizona, I'm so sorry you have to be put through this."

"No." She was beside him now with the red sludge in her hand, offering it to him. "I'm more sorry that you have to be going through this. Here, take it."

He inspected it closely. "What is it?"

"You won't drink it if I tell you that."

Scowling, Robert took the glass from her and took a sip; he was instantly repulsed, but continued to take small sips anyway, because he would drink this horrible mixture if it meant this splitting headache would go away. Robert bent his legs and sat up cross-legged so Arizona could sit on the couch beside him. "How bad was I?"

Arizona shrugged and watched him continue to sip the drink, his face becoming more repulsed with each taste. "What do you remember?"

He shrugged. "I don't...I remember not getting married. But after that everything's just a blur."

"Consider that a good thing."

"Was I that bad?"

"Well, let's just say you are a completely different person when you're hammered," Arizona told him before she gently patted his knee. "But you could have been worse. Much, much worse."

"Good thing I wasn't."

"Yeah."

Robert sighed heavily. "Did, um, did April say anything about...anything?"

Arizona could tell just saying her name brought him pain. "When I talked to her?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah. Then."

"She just...She just told me it was over."

"Did she, um, did she say why?" He looked flustered now, like he was on the brink of tears but refused to express any emotion. Arizona knew, in this moment, that the old Robert was coming back, the heartless one who didn't give a shit about anyone or anything. He was transforming back to the man he was before, all because one woman had irreparably destroyed his ability to love and care with one action.

"Robert, are you sure-"

"I need to know," he told her firmly. "I...I need to know."

She sighed. "She said that she didn't want to be with someone who her family couldn't accept."

"Just like I feared, huh?"

"Robert-"

"I feel so stupid. I...I saw it, but I just...I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have called them to invite them to the wedding. Maybe..." He shook his head. "Maybe she and I just weren't meant to be."

"You don't honestly believe that."

"What other choice do I have?"

He was right, she knew. It was so much easier to accept that it was simply fate and out of their control than to think that it was in their control and they hadn't done enough to prevent it. Accepting fate was better than wondering what if the rest of his life - what if he had fought harder, what if he had been different, what if, what if, what if. "She's the love of your life, isn't she?"

"Apparently I'm not hers."

"You very well could be."

"I don't want to be the one that got away," he answered after a moment. "I want to be the one that she spends the rest of her life with. But...But how can you be with someone who doesn't want you in the same way you want them?"

"You can't."

"I have to talk to her."

"Yes you do."

"Work out who's going to keep what and things like that." He rubbed his eyes. "I just...I can't see her right now."

"What are you guys going to do about your honeymoon? It's not like you can go."

"That's why I need to talk to her," Robert answered with a sigh. "You think she'll go into work today?"

"No. I talked to Alex and he said she's going to hang out around the house today. And I'm guessing she's going to be alone because everyone else has work, so if you want to go see her with privacy, you can."

Robert nodded. "Okay."

"You'll be all right with this hangover?"

"I have to be. This stuff can't wait," Robert told her with a shrug. "Thanks for letting me sleep on your couch."

"Anytime."

"It won't be a common occurrence, I promise."

Arizona smiled. "Well, unless you have more planned weddings in the future, I don't think it's going to be a problem." She frowned when he only looked at her. "Too soon?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

Robert sighed. "Me, too."

* * *

><p>She opened the door, and was surprised to see him standing there, looking exhausted and perhaps a little irritated. April wasn't sure what to say - if there was anything she could say - and only stared at him, waiting for him to make the first move.<p>

His face remained blank as he asked, "May I come in? Or are you just going to slam the door and completely disregard my feelings again?"

She deserved that. "Hon-"

"You don't get to call me that," he cut her off, his face turning from numbness to slight anger. "Not anymore."

She fidgeted slightly before stepping aside. "Come in."

He did, and as soon as he entered the house, he wanted to leave. Staring into the living room, Robert flashed back to he moment when Lexie came out to tell him that the wedding was off, that his bride had left him at the altar. Remembering the pain sent shockwaves through his body, so sharp and painful that he tensed and thought the thick air in the room would suffocate him; that would be better than standing here with her, he decided. Because staring at her now, at her beautiful face, it made him want to die - or at least slink back into some corner and never come out.

"Robert, I-"

"We need to talk about where we go from here," he told her, not in the mood to hear any sort of apology or explanation.

She frowned. "We're not going to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about? Your father came, convinced you somehow that I was wrong for you, and you called off our wedding - our relationship. Sounds pretty cut and dry to me." He scoffed. "There's nothing that needs explanation. I get it."

"You're not even going to hear my side?"

"I heard your side loud and clear," Robert said with a shake of his head, the agitation clear in his voice. "Don't even waste your breath explaining to me something that I know - that I've known for a while."

She crossed her arms. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," he answered after a moment - not wanting to start a fight. Because once he fought with her, he'd hurt her. He'd hurt her like she hut him, dangerous and cruel. And then he'd be just as bad as her - and he'd prove to himself that they really weren't good for each other, and that was something he never wanted to do. Robert wanted to leave this house with the thought that they were great for each other, that they hadn't wasted their time. "It's nothing."

"Why did you come here then, if we aren't going to talk about what happened?"

"Because we need to talk about where we go from here," he answered simply.

"Where we go from here?"

"Yes. After all, we aren't together anymore, are we?"

April only stared at him, as if the thought surprised her. "You're just going to give up on me that easily?"

"You gave up first, April. I'm just following suit."

"You aren't...You aren't even going to fight for me?"

He frowned and threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. "Why should I fight for someone who won't even show me the same courtesy?"

"You should fight for us, not me."

"There is no us anymore, April," he reminded her quietly. "You decided that."

"Robert-"

"So," he continued, because he didn't want to talk about it anymore, "we need to discuss where we're going from here. Living situations, the trip, things like that."

Moments passed, and still she gave him no response. He inspected her closely, after a moment, and closely watched the way she looked away from him, her eyes glossed over like any moment she was going to break down in tears. Finally, she looked up at him and asked, "Living situations?"

"The apartment," he explained. "Who's going to keep it, or if we're going to sell it and both find new places of our own."

"I...I think you should keep it. It was yours before we met."

"And will you find a place then?"

"Meredith offered me my old room back," April told him. She could only stare at him, confused by his shutdown of emotions, when he only nodded slowly. "Robert?"

"Yeah?"

"You're not going to yell at me? Scream about how I led you on or...You're not acting like a guy who was just rejected. You're acting like...like-"

"A cold heartless wretch?"

"Yeah."

"Just living up to my true potential," he commented dryly. "Besides, there are things that need to be sorted out."

"How can you do this? Just shut down your emotions like this?"

"It's easy," he told her. "You learn to shut off your emotions the more times you get hurt."

"I'm so sor-"

"I don't care."

His blunt, angry tone surprised her so much that she stopped talking, looking away from him. "I'm just-"

"I don't care," Robert repeated, stressing each word. "Now what about the trip? Are you going to take it?"

"By myself?"

"You can take a friend with you," Robert told her with a shrug. "I'm sure Lexie would like to go."

"You don't want-"

"No," he answered. "I didn't really want to go anyway. I just...It was what you wanted and what you wanted was fine with me."

April knew he had said that just to hurt her - that there was more to his story than simply not wanting to go - but she could only stare at him, because this wasn't the Robert she knew. This was a man who was once loving and caring, and she had broken him down until only a shell remained. "Oh-kay."

He nodded before moving past her.

"That's all you wanted?"

Robert nodded as he opened the door, turning back to look at her. "When are you coming by to get your things?"

"Is a couple of days going to be all right?"

"Yeah," he answered softly. "Do you want me to work on packing your things up or do you want to do it yourself?"

"I..." She paused. "Whatever works for you."

He nodded and opened the door slowly. "I..."

April frowned when he stopped suddenly and looked down at his feet. "You what?"

Robert shook his head. "Never mind. It doesn't matter anymore, anyway."

"Robert, what?" She stopped, realizing what he was going to say. "You were going to say that you love me, weren't you?"

"Like I said," he told her quietly, "it doesn't matter anymore, anyway."

April could only stare at him, his words shocking her and making her wonder how the hell things had turned out this way. "Robert-"

"Call me when you're coming over so I can have everything ready," he told her, leaving before she could give a response. As soon as he shut the door, he sighed heavily.

That was absolute torture.

He leaned against the door and ran his fingers through his hair. He was torn between leaving this place and going back in there - to confront her. Instead of making a decision, he stood in limbo, where he felt nothing - where he was forcing himself to feel nothing. Robert could swear she had leaned against the other side of the door, too.

He wanted so much to open the door and look at her one more time. But he couldn't. Because right now it hurt him too much; just thinking about her made him want to take another drink.

Sighing again, he whispered gently, almost to himself, "I'll always love you."

That admission, he realized, would be the death of him. He had stopped loving Lauren; their love had somehow dissolved over years of marriage but April...Arizona was right. She was the love his life, the woman he would have given his career - his life - for. No matter how much she didn't want him or love him, he would always love her. And unreturned love, that was the deadliest feeling in the world. And no matter what he did, he'd never forget her; he'd never hate her. He'd love her, until the day he died, and she didn't feel the same, never would.

That, he realized, was what hurt him most of all. It wasn't because she rejected him, stood him up, but because she made it clear how much she didn't love him, when he would have given her the world.

Robert stared up at the cloudy sky before pushing himself off the door. Walking toward his car, he pulled out his keys. When he hit the end of the driveway, he turned around to look at the house one last time.

She stood in the window, watching him from a distance.

Robert looked at her before he turned around and walked to his car. It wasn't long before he had started the engine and drove away, away from this house, from her, from everything they were and everything they should have been.


	20. What We Deserve

A few days later, April returned to work where she was met with stares from people who knew her well, from nurses whose names she didn't know or attendings who she had never seen before. They all watched her, careful and inspective, like she was a criminal and they had to find out the degree of pain that she had inflicted. Finally, she had enough of dealing with the unwanted attention and grabbed her charts, heading into the nearrest conference room she could find.

She couldn't stand the stares - mostly because she knew she deserved them and the guilt was enough to suffocate her. She didn't need the judgmental gazes of others to make herself feel worse.

As she opened the door, she immediately stopped. "Oh."

Arizona looked up from her own set of diagrams and glanced at April before turning back to her work. "Dr. Kepner?"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Robbins. I thought-"

"What?" Arizona asked patiently when April trailed off.

"I thought this room was empty," April answered after a moment. "I'll...I'll get out of your hair. I'm sorry."

"You can work in here, Dr. Kepner," Arizona told her after a moment. "As long as you're quiet."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Arizona answered. "You probably want to get away from the questioning gazes of everyone out there."

"Yeah." Even though Arizona stared at her the same way.

"Well, close the door and sit."

April didn't need to be told twice as she gently shut the door and took a seat in one of the chairs. As she worked, she would glance up at Arizona, who had her head bent while working, as well. She refused to look at April, and was as focused on her work as she had seen Robert before. April couldn't stop glancing up at her, however, wanting to ask this woman what was going through her fianc - ex-fiancee's - head.

"Dr. Kepner, what do you want?"

April quickly looked down at her charts. "Nothing."

Arizona looked up finally. "You may be able to lie to everyone else, Dr. Kepner, but not to me."

She sighed. "How can you sit here and talk to me?"

"Because we're colleagues," Arizona answered simply. "And you're chief resident and at work I'll treat you with respect - respect that you've earned."

"But not at work?"

"That's a different story," she told her companion seriously. "You know, he's a good friend of mine. I wouldn't say he's my best friend, but I'm one of his. And that warrants certain actions when he's...the way he is."

"How is he?"

"You honestly care?"

"I do."

"If you cared as much as you say you do," Arizona told her, "then you would have broken things off face-to-face, instead of having Lexie Grey tell him. You wouldn't have done it on the day you were supposed to be married."

April stared at her while she bent her head down to charts again. "I...I deserved that."

"Yes, you did," Arizona agreed. "And some might argue that you deserve a lot worse - and if you find me at a bad moment outside of this hospital, then you will get worse."

"He's a good friend?"

"And he would have made a great husband if you had given him the chance," Arizona added. "If you had listened to your heart instead of following the wishes of a man who couldn't see past his own problems and support his daughter."

"You don't understand."

"Don't tell me I don't understand," Arizona warned, her voice angry. "Callie's parents wanted nothing to do with her - with me - but she still stood up to them anyway. She disregarded what they wanted and followed her heart. And you know, I get it. I came out to my parents and they wanted nothing to do with me for a while. But they came around, because I'm their daughter."

"My dad wouldn't break."

"So you thought it was better to break your fiancee's heart than stand up to your father?"

"I..."

"You screwed up," Arizona berated. "Because he's heartbroken, April. He's a mess. But you were too concerned with pleasing your father to even consider how your decision would affect him."

"I never meant to hurt him."

"You've never been led on before have you?" Arizona asked. "Because that's what you did, April. You led him on, you made him fall in love with you, and you promised him yourself. You promised that you wouldn't leave and you would love him forever and you went and broke that promise._ You walked away_."

"And I hurt him?"

"Yes you did."

"How can I be with a guy who my family hates?"

"Because it's not about them! It's about you and him and that's all that matters! Your family would get over it! They'd grow to respect him if not like him because he's important to you and if they wanted you in their lives, they have to respect him. But you couldn't see that." She paused. "And he won't ever get over what you did to him."

"There has to be something-"

"There are some things you can't make up or take back. Some things...Some things are impossible to forgive and forget."

"Will you tell him I'm sorry?"

"Why don't you tell him yourself?"

"Because he wants nothing to do with me," April answered. "And I tried and he wouldn't listen."

"He's hurt, April. And seeing you...that doesn't help him heal any faster." If he was even capable of healing from this blow.

"What I can do? It's not like I can avoid him all the time."

"He did the same with you the first time around," Arizona told her. "I'm sure you'll find the ability to do the same thing."

* * *

><p>"Dr. Kepner?"<p>

The familiar voice rocked her, sent chills down her spine. She turned to find that he was walking toward her, a chart in his hand. He had yet to look up, and when he did, she saw only a business - a man who was working and nothing more. She was simply another doctor now - nothing more, nothing less. "Dr...Dr. Stark?"

"Can you spare one of your new residents? I need help on the rotations."

"Um, sure. Which one do you want?"

"Doesn't matter. Just one who can handle changing bedpans. Well...if you can find someone capable, that is," he answered, looking up at her, patiently. His eyes were open, and she saw nothing in them but the desire to continue with work, to have his questions answered and then walk away and continue with his day. It made sense she was brought to this level; she deserved it, after all, because she wasn't his anything anymore. She wasn't his fiancee, his girlfriend, or even the woman he loved; she was his colleague, nothing more, nothing less.

"Okay. I'll send someone over to the pediatric ward right away."

"Thank you."

She turned as he moved to walk away from her and stopped him by grabbing his arm; the action was more reflexive than anything. She met his patient gaze. He had yet to move away from her. "Dr. Stark?"

"Yes?"

"Why aren't you..." She swallowed, hoping that would be enough to find strength. "Why aren't you treating me like...like you used to?"

"Like I used to?"

"Before we...got together," she clarified.

He looked down at her hand, which was still on his arm."Because you're a colleague, Dr. Kepner. And I'll treat you with the respect you deserve."

"But..."

"I've changed a lot since then," he told her. "And I'm trying this not being a jackass thing."

"But you have every right to treat me that way."

He sighed. "Just because I have the right doesn't mean I should." He pulled his arm away. "And that would make me as bad as you."

"Dr. Stark?"

He turned around after he had walked away from her. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

He simply stared at her for a few moments, his eyes going blank before he looked away from her. "Are you?"

"Yes."

Robert nodded. He would have told her he wasn't, but that would be lying to both her and himself; he had done enough lying to himself, and was done hiding behind the lies he put in his head. It was time to face reality, and the reality was that they would be working together - that it would only hurt him to treat her nastily. He looked at his hands before finally looking up at her. "I'd like that resident to check in with me before going around. Send him or her to my office."

"All right."

"Thank you."

Before she could respond, he walked away from her.

* * *

><p>April walked into their - no, <em>his <em>- apartment that night and felt all the memories come flooding back, like the way he had carried her from the couch to bed because her foot had fallen asleep, or how he had tripped over the coffee table when walking away from her in the dark. She remembered the way he had playfully pulled her down with him, grabbed a blanket, and they had made love on the floor. Stepping inside and staring at the apartment, she remembered a time in the morning when she had accidently dropped a flower vase, glass shattering on the floor around her; he had come in and instructed her not to move before sweeping up the glass around her feet, making a path for her to walk away. She had expected him to simply lay on the couch and not do anything - since he had been sick with the flu - but he had refused and insisted on getting up and helping her. He had proven courteous and wonderful.

She stared at him, at the way he immediately walked away from her because being such a small distance away from her was too agonizing. "Robert?"

He didn't turn around. "I have your things in the bedroom. Well, some boxes. Some are in the kitchen, some - as you can see - are in the living room."

April simply followed him; he refused to look at her, really, but kept walking into the room that they once shared together. Upon immediately stepping foot in the bedroom, the wave of memories pummeled her. Every kiss, whisper, conversation, fight, and every time they made up flooded into her brain, her heart; April needed to look at Robert, to see if the same thing was happening to him. He stood still, his body stiff, his face set, as if nothing could touch him anymore - because, after all, the worst thing had already happened. It couldn't get worse from here, and now he was simply a shell, a man she barely recognized, and it was all her fault.

Was he even there? Had she finally broken him and now there was nothing left? She needed to know, and reached out to gently touch his arm. He didn't seem to register that she had even moved, and she was hopeful when he turned to look at her. His face still remained blank before he looked down at her hand, then back up at her face. "What?"

"Are you all right?"

He looked away from her with a shrug. "Fine."

April watched him, with a frown, as he walked over toward piles of boxes and took one. He turned around to stare at her, and she thought that she needed to say something; she just didn't know what to say. "Robert."

He looked at her expectantly. "Yes?"

"You have to say something."

Robert heard her plea, and found himself unable to take his eyes off her, off the way she waited for him with sad eyes. "What is there to say?"

"I don't know...I...Get mad, or something."

He sighed, putting the box of her clothes down on the bed. "You want me to get mad?"

"Yeah. I deserve it. I..." She paused. "I deserve your worst."

He crossed his arms. "Would that make you feel better?"

"I...What?"

"If I were to get angry with you and express exactly how I feel. That would make you happy, wouldn't it? Maybe take some of your guilt away because I'm treating you the way you treated me?"

"No, that's not what I meant. I just...It might make you feel better."

"Make me feel better?" He scoffed and shook his head. "You think lashing out at you - and causing you pain - is going to make me feel better about this whole situation?"

"It might help."

"I never wanted to hurt you, April, ever. Why...Why do you think I started therapy in the first place?"

"So that you could-"

"No, I did it for you! I did it so you would - hopefully - never have to feel the way you felt that night we fought."

"You were supposed to do it for you," April told him, her voice brimmed with irritation. "Not anyone else."

"I did it for me," Robert answered. "At least I am now."

"So then if it was all just a sham, why don't you lash out at me? Hurt me again?"

"Because." He sighed. "Even though you might deserve it..."

"What?"

"I can't hurt you like that again. I promised you I wouldn't ever do that again - no matter how angry I got. And...And I keep my promises, April."

"Oh, and I don't?"

He scoffed and opened his arms for her to survey the room filled with boxes. "Clearly not."

"Robert-"

"April, I'm not in the mood to fight. Just...I'll help you bring your things to your car or uhaul or whatever you have out there and that'll be the end of it."

"We're going to have to talk eventually."

"Talk about what? About..." He laughed. "About how you stood me up on our wedding day and ended our relationship without so much as a warning or even an explanation? How you ended our relationship not because we stopped loving each other and it wasn't working anymore but because of your father? You want to talk about that? Or do you want to talk about how whenever I think about you all I want to do is break something because it's better than the festering pain I'm feeling? Do you want to talk about that, April?"

She didn't answer.

"I didn't think so." He shook his head and grabbed the box on the bed, carrying it past her. He returned about a minute later to grab another box and asked, "Are you going to help or just stand there?"

"Maybe I should just do this myself."

"No," he answered with a shake of his head as he moved to grab another box. "I'll help."

"How can you be so good to me when..."

He turned around suddenly, wondering whether or not he should tell her that he wasn't doing this for her, but for himself, because her boxes couldn't be sitting in his apartment anymore. Her things couldn't stay here. He needed them gone, because he couldn't bear the memory of them staying here...memories of her. He decided not to - because that would hurt her; he so wanted to fire back, but was amazed at his restraint. Were this a time before therapy, he would have no problem telling her exactly how he felt.

And he wouldn't admit it to her, but he secretly knew that if he lashed out at her the way he wanted to, their relationship would forever be damaged - beyond repair. He hoped, too, that one day she'd come back to him - and if he damaged their relationship so deeply and suddenly, then that would never happen. He could hang onto hope, but not a promise of never.

Instead of causing her pain - and subsequently bringing himself more pain - he came up with, "The sooner you can get your things in your car, the sooner you can go home and relax for work tomorrow. So...It just seems smart for me to help."

"Can I ask you something?"

He shrugged. "Sure."

"Do you feel anything right now? Besides pain?"

"No." That wasn't entirely true. He missed her, desperately, and he hated her father and her rash, stupid, immature decision to end their relationship.

"Nothing?"

"Exactly." God, how he missed her. Were she to come running back to him tonight or tomorrow, he'd be leery of her decision but wouldn't turn her away. It was pathetic, really, but he didn't care. All he cared about was having her in his life - and he hated himself for being so weak.

April nodded before she ran her fingers through her hair. "All right. Well...Well let's get moving then."

"Okay."

It took them an hour to get all of the boxes out of his apartment - which now felt empty because he had so much space - at least, that's what Robert told himself. He didn't want to admit that it felt empty from the moment their relationship ended and she decided to move out. Even though there were many objects in the apartment, it wasn't the same without her; he feared it would never be the same.

"Is that all of it?"

"I think so," he answered, surveying the apartment. "Unless there's anything else that you see that's yours?"

"I don't think so."

Robert nodded and sighed softly. "So, is that it?"

She looked at him. "Yeah. So...So I guess I'll be heading out then."

"Yeah," he agreed quietly. "Guess so."

The room was so tense that April was torn between running away and pushing through the barrier - which would involve pushing him to a point where his only option was to lash out at her. She turned toward him and asked, "Can...Can I ask you something, Robert?"

"Sure."

"Where do we go from here?"

The question surprised him so much that he turned to face her. "I...I don't know, April. I figured you'd have all the answers."

"Robert-"

"Besides," he cut her off, his voice low, "there is no more us remember?"

She looked down at her feet, ashamed almost, before looking back up at him. "Yeah, I...It was a slip up. It..It won't happen again, I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"What makes you think it's a promise I can't keep?"

He only shrugged, not wanting to answer because he if he told her that it was because she still loved him - that she missed him as much as he missed her - than she might fire back saying it wasn't true, and he couldn't deal with that. Robert was already so heartbroken that her telling him she didn't love him - even out of spite - would be the final nail in his coffin, the complete end. "Do you have everything?"

"You already asked me that."

"Oh, yeah."

"Well..." She couldn't bear standing in this room any longer, not with the way he stared at her like he both wanted to take in her face and turn away. "I guess I'll be going."

"Okay. I'll see you at work, then."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Neither of them moved. April couldn't will herself to walk away from him, and he seemed to have the same trouble. Finally, her legs got the message her heart was trying to kill, and she walked over to the front door. Her hand on the knob, she turned to face him; he, too, had moved and was now standing behind her. "Have...Have a good night."

"You, too."

April wasn't sure what had happened - or who had initiated the contact - but as soon as their lips met it was like nothing had happened. Or, maybe they kissed like everything had happened and it was the pain and longing that sparked their fervor. Whatever the cause, his touch and heat became like an addiction, something she couldn't rid herself of even though she knew it was wrong and it shouldn't be happening.

Somehow he was able to understand the possible consequences because he instantly pulled away, flustered. Robert stared at her like she had slapped him. "You need to go."

"But-"

"No," he told her firmly. "You need to go now. Please."

"Hey," she stopped him from moving away from her, almost offended. "You kissed me."

"I know," he whispered, as if the words hurt him. "And...And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Break-up sex is...We shouldn't be doing it. It'll just bring up past emotions and...It's wild and uninhibited. We just shouldn't. I'm sorry."

April could only watch as he hurriedly moved away from her, as far as he could, and walked into their bedroom. She realized after a few moments that he wasn't coming back. Part of her wanted to chase after him and the other part wanted to walk away - because it was clearly what he needed.

She had been too selfish already and hadn't been concerned with what he needed.

Deciding to change that - to focus on his needs instead of hers - she sighed softly, opened the apartment door, and closed it as she left...for good.


	21. Let Me Go

Robert sighed heavily as he walked into the locker room toward his locker, a small place in this entire hospital where he could keep things completely private. Nothing seemed private anymore, not after everyone found out about the failed wedding. It was a relief to know that at least one place he could call his own - that no one else could see, touch, or talk about. It was his, simply, and no one - not even someone's father - could take it away from him. He opened the small locker and sighed.

On the top shelf laid the box with the wedding rings - one of which was supposed to be on his finger.

Reaching up, he grabbed the box and brought it close against himself, cradling it like a small child. They were so tiny, precious, and in true fashion with his profession, this very well could be one of the last times he looked at them. Robert wanted to hold them forever - or better yet, pretend that he was married and April was his wife and none of this was happening. The pain in his heart wouldn't be eating him alive and he'd go home every night to the woman who he loved.

But this was reality, after all, not a fantasy world.

He forced himself to put the box back before grabbing his jacket - which he had forgotten and had come in here to fetch in the first place. As he pulled the jacket out, however, he was forced to stop. Out from the side pocket fluttered a folded up note. Bending down, he picked it up and carefully opened it, remarking to himself how his privacy had somehow been intruded.

Maybe there wasn't a place in the world that he was safe.

_I want uninhibited, passionate sex. I want you_.

Robert stopped to stare around him; though he was alone, he felt as if someone was watching him. Her handwriting was clear - he had recognized it after watching her complete post-ops and sign checks or authorization for credit cards at stores. For a moment, though, he couldn't believe what he was reading, so surprised that he had to read the note again to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Where the hell did she get off leaving him a note like this after standing him up?

He wanted to crumble the small slip of paper up, but that would be like crumpling up a part of her and he couldn't bear the thought of that. His muscles couldn't will themselves to wrap around the paper and crush it simply - like he crushed residents hopes and dreams. Still flabbergasted, he stared down at the love - no, sex - note and shook his head.

How the hell was he supposed to respond to something like this?

Within minutes he found her at a nurse's station, working diligently, unbothered by the chaos of the pit around her. He tried not to notice - and he had failed miserably lately - that she looked wonderful in scrubs, a long lab coat, and her hair pulled up. This - above all - was her natural environment, a place where she felt comfortable and safe. Well, he thought to himself as he approached her in his jeans, t-shirt, and coat, he was about to turn her comfort zone upside down.

She didn't seem to notice him, but by chance, she caught him in her peripheral vision. "Oh, hey."

"Don't hey me."

April was taken aback by his blunt response and angry eyes. "What's going on?"

"You can't pull shit like this."

"What are you talking about?"

He lifted up her little note, scowling when she smirked. "Are you kidding me? You think this is funny?"

"Come on, I knew which locker was yours."

"It's not about other people reading it," he told her, his voice low as he moved closer to her, so other people wouldn't overhear this very private conversation. "You can't do things like this, April."

"Oh? It's April now?"

What the hell was this? It was like someone had possessed her body and this wasn't April he was talking to, but a demon that had taken over her soul. "It's always been April. What the hell has gotten into you?"

"Yesterday."

"I don't understand."

"When we..."

"We didn't do anything," he told her coldly, his tone firm as if the day's event was just a memory he wanted to wipe away. "It was one moment of weakness that didn't mean anything. It's not going to happen again."

"They say break up sex is the best kind."

"No," he responded firmly with a shake of his head. "No."

"No?"

"You don't get to do this, April. You don't get to stand me up at our wedding - our wedding! - break off our relationship, and then pretend like nothing has changed. Everything has changed. _Everything_."

"Robert-"

"Just stop, okay? You ended things. You know what happens when you end a relationship, April? You move on. You forget that you ever loved someone as much as you did, and you move on - especially if you're the person who decided to end it."

"And the other person?"

He shrugged. "We learn to pick up the pieces somehow. We wake up each morning and try to pretend like everything is all right."

"And is it?"

"Nothing's right when the person you love leaves you for some stupid reason." He stared at her openly, honest in his anger and said, "And you left for a dumbass reason."

"What did you want me to do?"

"I don't know...Fight for us when you really needed to. Not walk away because Daddy threatened not to love you anymore." He thought he could do it - but apparently nothing had changed the way he wanted it to; his snarky tone shined through clearly, immediately, and there was nothing he could do to take it back. Robert thought by the agitated look in her eyes that if they weren't in public, she would slap him.'

"Maybe we should have this conversation in private?"

"Why? The entire hospital knows how you stood me up. They've been gossiping about it the past week. This'll just keep them going."

"Robert-"

"Maybe you should have thought about how others would think or feel before you decided not to go through with our wedding. So don't stand here and act like you're holier than them and they don't deserve to know your private business. You plastered it out there for everyone to see - and now everyone can see and is talking and you can't stand it."

"Stop."

"For what? To consider your feelings? Why should I show you a decency you refused to show me?"

"Robert, people are staring."

"Good. Now you know how I feel walking around this hospital as the guy who got stood up at his own wedding."

April sighed before looking away from him. Quietly, almost a whisper, she commented, "I guess you're realizing your true potential."

"Guess so. Oh, and this note," he threw it down on her binder, "is not happening again. Don't send me anything else. I don't care."

"You don't?"

"No," he answered, his voice firm though he knew it was a lie. Truth was, he cared more than he wanted to admit to himself. Seeing that note from her, her unique handwriting, it made his heart skip a beat. Truth was, he cared, but wished he didn't. He wished he could shut off every emotion that had told him to carry her off to bed and have his way one last time - to tell her how much he loved her and beg to have her back. But he couldn't, not now, and hoped desperately that he would be able to in time.

"I don't believe you."

"Leave me alone, April," he told her icily. "You ended things, now walk away. Don't...Don't put me through this. I've been nothing but good to you."

"Except for those moments when you're treating me like shit."

He scowled. "You want to go there?"

"You always do."

"Look," he took another step closer to her, their bodies separated only by clothing, "you ended things, April. You bailed on us. So don't go writing me these little love notes thinking that everything is going back to normal. Do you get what I'm saying, April? You ripped my heart out. And this note...This is like a slap in the face. Now, I get it. You haven't had a relationship end before and you're not sure how to react, but damn it, I have. And _this_..." Robert barely picked up the paper. "This is not how you react."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Leave me alone," he repeated, his tone begging. "Please. I can't take any more of this. You...You don't get to rip my heart out than write me something like this. Breaking up doesn't work like that."

"So you tell me, how does breaking up work?"

"You broke up with me, April. That makes it clear you wanted this relationship over. Now move on like a normal person. Pretend it never happened. Leave the pining and hoping to the person you left - which, in this case, is me. Leave the notes and the desire to have you back up to me. Because you ended it. You don't get to attack and then act like the victim. Now, I don't know why you're doing this, but it needs to stop. It stops now."

"Robert."

He expected something back, but when he received nothing but a stare, he found himself getting lost in her close proximity - in the way he could feel her warm, steady breath against his neck or how he desperately wanted to kiss her like he had last night. Somehow he was restraining himself - perhaps it was his anger pushing through the desire - and he hoped he could control it until the end of this argument. "Stop, April."

"You really want me to leave you alone?"

"More than anything." Because he hadn't lied to her. He couldn't take this. Her note had at first stunned him but now it pissed him off because she had no right, _none_, doing what she did to him and then sending him a note like this. He'd wring her neck if he believed in violence.

"Fine."

"Fine," he answered testily before shaking his head and walking away from her. He couldn't turn around; he just had to keep moving, because if she wasn't regretting her decision not to marry him, than he sure as hell wasn't going to regret anything he had said to her. Apparently therapy hadn't worked as well as he hoped, because it hadn't taken him long to relapse into who he once was.

Then again, he had never been hurt quite like this before. Even Lauren's infidelity had pained him less - because he had seen those coming. April's rejection was sudden, and he had been too blinded by his love for her to see the warning signs creep around the corner. Now he had acted too late, and there was nothing he could do besides keep moving, keep dreaming, and keep hoping that one day this would just be a different memory...

That one day he would feel safe enough in his own skin to trust another woman again.


	22. Muhammad Going to the Mountain

"Dr. Wyatt."

She turned around from her bookshelf, surprised to see her Robert standing there. He looked haphazard, exhausted, and desperately in need to talk to someone. The hollow look in his eyes was one she hadn't seen before, not even when he feared losing April - an indicator to her that this was serious, that she desperately needed his help. "It's been a long since I've seen you."

He only nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."

"You know, I just wrapped up for the day."

"I know that, too," he answered quietly, almost ashamed to come here so late - to have waited so long to reach out for help.

"Yet you're still here." She crossed her arms when he stood in the doorway, in a limbo of decisions. "So, from one professional to another, it must be important for you to stop me from going home."

"If you're busy, I completely understand and I'll come back later. It's just..."

She inspected him closely when he stopped talking and stared down at his hands, unsure. "What is it?"

"Do you have a minute?"

"Literally a minute, or do you want an hour?"

He frowned. "April stood me up at our wedding, ended our relationship, and just wrote me a sex note."

"Yeah." Dr. Wyatt put down her book. "This is going to take more than a minute. Well...come on in, I guess. Take a seat and make yourself comfortable." She noted how he walked in as if each step pained him; there was no way she could turn him away tonight - not when it was obvious that he needed someone to talk to.

"It's not a big deal?"

"Not at all." She sat down and grabbed her clipboard and notepad as he laid down on the couch. "So...Start from the beginning. April left you at the altar?"

"Yes," he answered. "In front of everyone - moments before we were supposed to get married - she broke things off."

"Why?"

"Because her father came into town and somehow convinced her to end our relationship. I don't know how, I didn't ask."

"It doesn't bother you that you don't know?"

"No, what bothers me is that she buckled...That she gave up on us so easily."

"Did you fight for her?"

He scowled. "I beg your pardon?"

"What did you do after April backed away? Did you go in and fight for her - fight for your love - or did you walk away?"

"Don't go accusing me-"

"I'm not accusing you of anything, Robert," Dr. Wyatt told him sternly as she heard the agitation grow in his voice - because he was afraid she was attacking him, and he had been attacked enough the past couple of days. "I'm simply asking a question."

Robert sighed. "I went to a bar and I got drunk."

"And then?"

"A friend let me sleep over at her house and I woke up the next morning with a killer hangover."

"A female friend?"

He frowned. "No, we didn't have sex. I slept on her couch."

"It would certainly complicate things if you had."

"Well I didn't - and I wouldn't," he told her seriously, crossing his arms in irritation. "What does what I did after eing stood up have to do with anything?"

"Because you didn't fight for her."

"She didn't fight for me!"

"Robert," Dr. Wyatt set down her clipboard, an attempt to get through to him on more than just a professional level, "she probably doesn't know how. You said it yourself that this is very likely her first serious relationship - if not first time she's loved someone and that love's been reciprocated. She probably doesn't get that these kind of things take work and you can't back down when the going gets tough."

"I don't believe that."

"Why not?"

"Because deep down that girl is a fighter. And deep down I think she knows that she has to fight for what she wants in order to get it."

"And...?"

He sighed. "And she didn't fight for me."

"Which says what to you?"

"That she doesn't really want me," he answered softly, his voice low as the painful realization hit him forcefully. "That she only loved me because I was the first guy who came along to actually love her and want her for who she was."

"You don't believe that."

"Yes, I do. If she wanted us, our relationship, she would have fought harder. Because I saw her, Dr. Wyatt. When she first stood up to her father in Columbus, she was willing to walk through the gates of Hell and back for us."

"And what changed?"

He sighed. "I don't know. Maybe her father's words have been eating away at her the past month and finally, when he came, it was the tipping point. I don't know."

"You haven't talked to her about it?"

"I can't," he answered.

"Can't?" Dr. Wyatt questioned. "Or don't want to?"

He didn't answer, instead looking down at his shoes for a moment - which was more an answer than anything else. "It doesn't matter anymore, anyway."

"Apparently it does."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because of the - what'd you call it? - sex note, she left you. That clearly says something."

"Yeah. She wants sex and that's it." He leaned forward with a frown. "Well, I'm not like most guys. I'm not in relationships just for the sex, okay?"

"And what are you in them for?'

"A partner. Someone to grow old with and build and share memories," he answered simply. "I used to just want sex - when I was younger - but things change. People...they change."

"If you're so big on people changing, why don't you consider that maybe April would change her mind? That she quite possibly might have realized her mistake and is trying to make amends for that - trying to get you back."

"She's sure doing a terrible job of it."

"But it's getting your attention, isn't it?"

Robert sighed. "You know what it made me? It made me angry, angry and frustrated."

"Why?"

"Because what gives her the right to break my heart and then write me something like that? She can't just do something like she did and expect everything to go back to normal."

"Like I said, maybe she's trying to get you back."

"You think so?"

"I don't know, but that's why you need to get over your fears and talk to her, Robert. And I mean _really _find out why she left and her motivations, not just guessing and thinking everyone's comments got to her head - because even though she hasn't had the best track record, it might not be the case."

He only sighed.

"What are you afraid of?"

After a moment, Robert looked up at her. "I guess..."

"What?"

Her gentle tone made him trust her as he answered, "I guess I'm afraid that maybe I didn't do enough. Maybe if I had loved her more or...I'm afraid to find out that she never really loved me at all."

"You really think that?"

"It's hard not to." He shrugged. "I mean...Maybe she just went along for the ride - because I was the only available guy - and she got off the train before things got too serious. Maybe she decided that she really didn't love me and tried to force feelings that weren't there - all because I was the first guy who came around to love her and respect her despite certain things."

"Robert, look at me." When he did, slowly, she told him, "If that were the case, she would have left a long time ago."

"Then why the hell did she leave now? I would have given her the world - everything I have - and she went and threw that all away."

"You need to talk to her, Robert. Sit down and tell her exactly how you feel and find out exactly how she feels. Otherwise...You'll never know. And not knowing is a hell of a lot worse than a truth that hurts. Because even though the truth may hurt you, the what ifs that would play in your head until the day you die are a hell of a lot worse."

"So you're saying I have to go to her?"

"Yes."

"How do I do that?"

She shrugged. "How have you gone to her before?"

* * *

><p>Robert found her sitting in the cafeteria by herself, picking at the food like she wasn't hungry but knew she had to eat something if she wanted to function for the next eight hours. Part of him didn't want to walk over to her because staring at her now, he remembered exactly why he had started therapy.<p>

She looked hurt, pained from some invisible sword that he had stabbed through her heart.

Maybe, he thought to himself as he surged forward, that Dr. Wyatt was right. Maybe she was calling out for him, but just didn't know how to reach out to someone she had irreparably hurt. When he finally had reached her table, she hadn't looked up - probably didn't even know he was standing before her. "Mind if I sit down?"

April looked up, her face both surprised and a little hopeful. "I thought you wanted me to leave you alone?"

He shrugged. "I need to speak with you - professional to professional."

Her face suddenly lit up, like she knew exactly what he wanted to talk about - because in the past their professional discussions had worked through some of their hardest issues, and been the moments where their love shined the brightest. "Well, sit down, I guess."

"Thank you." He set his tray down before taking a seat in front of her. April only stared at him, waiting, so he asked, "Why did you write that note?"

"It wasn't obvious?"

"No, no, I mean...There wasn't anything more behind it than the obvious?"

She sighed; so maybe this wasn't something they were used to, but it seemed in these moments when they were both two doctors as opposed to two lovers, they could be civil toward one another. His voice wasn't accusatory, but questioning, as if he was a small child asking a teacher for further explanation. "I miss you."

"You miss me?"

"Yes."

He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Not the idea of me?"

"It was never like that."

"No?"

"No," she answered, offended by the accusation that she was in this strictly for the sex - or because he was the first man to step into her life. "It wasn't like that at all."

"Then you tell me, because I really don't know."

"What do you want to know?"

"Why you gave up."

She sighed softly. "My dad came into town, for the wedding. Just before Jackson was about to walk me down the aisle, he showed up and...well you know."

"No, I really don't."

"He made some pretty strong ultimatums."

"Like what? That he wouldn't love you anymore if you decided to go through with the wedding? That he'd never speak to you again?"

"Yeah. Complete cut off of contact."

Robert nodded, attempting to block his frustration and anger from reaching a level he'd be unable to control. "So you gave up on me because your father would have given up on you?"

"It sounds terrible when you say it like that."

"That's because it is terrible - and it's hurtful," he answered quietly, staring down at his hands before finally staring back up at her.

"Not the first time I've hurt you, huh?"

"No," he agreed, meeting her eyes. "But it will be the last."

Her face fell at the statement, suddenly all the hope disappearing from her like it had the moment Arizona had told him things were really over. "So, there's no chance for us?"

"How can there be? You...You made it clear that the second your father gives his opinion that whatever I say or do won't matter."

She looked up at him, finally. "How can I marry someone my family won't support?"

"Plenty of people do it," he answered after a moment. "There are plenty of people whose parents-in-law hate them, but they make it work, Kepner. They have faith in themselves and their relationship enough to fight through it."

"And you think I didn't?"

"If you did, we'd be on our honeymoon celebrating the beginning, not sitting here discussing the end." He paused after a moment and told her, "You know, I would have given you everything that I had. Do you get that? I would have given my career for you, April...my life. I would have fought to the end."

"But you didn't."

"Don't turn this around on me."

"No, you could have turned around the minute Arizona told you what I said and you could have come back and fought for me - convinced me to walk down that aisle."

"Would it have made a difference?"

"It might have."

"No," he told her, shaking his head. "It wouldn't have changed anything. Because I would have gone in there and tried to convince you and your dad would have been standing there, striking down everything that I said. And because he would have been doing that - because he was standing there - you'd listen to him because you didn't want to ruin your relationship. Well, I hope you're happy. Because you might not have ruined your relationship with your father, but you ruined ours. And don't you dare point the finger back at me and say I didn't do enough. I did _everything _for you, April. I waited until you were ready, I didn't pressure you, I had your back, I loved you and took you back even when I thought you slept with someone else. I went to therapy for you and tried to change who I was because you deserved better. Don't you dare tell me I didn't do enough."

"So this is it for us?"

"I guess so."

"Is that what you want?"

"I don't have a choice," he answered. "Because you made it very clear what you want - and that's not me."

April only watched him as he stood up. "Robert-"

He stopped suddenly and turned to face her. "Did you ever love me, April?"

"Of course I did. I still do."

Robert only nodded. "Then why'd you do this to me?"

"Because...I wasn't sure what I wanted."

"And are you now?"

"I want you."

Robert nodded slowly before telling her in a quiet voice, "Maybe you should have thought of that before you called off our wedding...before you broke my heart."

"Robert?"

"What?"

"Do you miss me?"

He sighed heavily and met her sad eyes before he answered, "Every day."

"So then what are we doing? You miss me and I miss you and...What are we doing?"

"Like you said, you can't be with someone that your family doesn't support. Well, I can't be with someone who can't support me - who can't fight for me when I need her to. I can't, and I won't."

"Robert, I-"

"You what?"

"I'm sorry."

Robert only nodded before grabbing his tray and walking away from her - because he didn't have time to listen to her endless apologies, to have her say things that she didn't mean. Because it was clear to him that wasn't what she wanted to say, there was something else, and until she said to him exactly what she wanted to say, he'd have nothing to do with this.

That, and he couldn't bear the light in her eyes when he admitted quite how much he missed her.

* * *

><p>After a long day - and trying to get his mind off her and her admission that she wanted him back - he threw his lab coat on the bench in the locker room and leaned agains the cold lockers, wondering what the hell he was doing here in the first place. Nothing made sense to him anymore, not his work, and especially not April.<p>

She said she wanted him back - that she missed him - but it was clear that she still refused to fight for him. She hadn't said the words he needed to hear from her, and until then he wouldn't even consider taking her back.

Besides, how could he trust her not to break his heart again? How he could trust her when she said she would fight for him and not give up on him when her track record had proven otherwise?

He didn't want to think about this anymore, wanting only to get changed and go home to an apartment that they were supposed to share. He opened his locker and frowned when a slip of paper fell from the top self. Knowing exactly who it was from, Robert debated on picking it up but his curiosity got the better of him as he bent down and grabbed the slip of paper.

Robert sighed as he read the note; the words were plain and simple, yet somehow everything he wanted and needed to hear.

_I should have fought for you. I should fight for you. And I'll do whatever it takes to get you back. And if you need time, that's fine. I get it, why you need time. Because I hurt you worse than anyone ever could, and I'm sorry._

_I made a mistake, a horrible mistake. Because you are the man of dreams, who'd love me through thick and thin. And I let my own insecurities get in the way. You want to know why I left? It's because I feared one day you'd realize that you didn't love me and you'd walk away. So that, coupled with my dad...It was enough to make me walk away. And in attempt to spare myself pain, I brought you pain (we do that a lot, don't we?). _

_So I'm asking you to forgive me enough to take me back. Because I love you and I realize now that you love me and I was a fool to ever let you go. _

_If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll be waiting in our special place._

Robert sighed again and let the note fall from his fingers, watching it slowly fall until it hit the floor. When he looked up, Arizona had entered the locker room and was staring at him. He only met her gaze. "Hey."

She frowned. "What's the matter?"

Robert picked up the note and handed it to her, watching as her eyes scanned the paper in surprise. When she finally looked up, he asked, "What do you think?"

"What are you still doing here?"

"What?"

Arizona lifted up the paper. "What are you still doing here? Go to her!"

"I-"

"Do you want her back?"

"Of course, I do, but we just...I just told her that I didn't want to be with someone who couldn't fight for our relationship and-"

"And your note proves that she's willing to do that."

"How do I know that that's going to happen?"

"Trust! You trust her because you love her!" Arizona bounced on her feet slightly. "Go to her! Give her a chance to prove that she's going to fight for you!"

He sighed. "How come it took us breaking up for her to realize what she wanted?"

"Sometimes you have to lose something to realize how good you had it," Arizona answered. "Now would you freaking go to her? She's waiting and you're just standing here debating whether or not you want to take the risk! Get your feet wet, take a leap of faith! Risk it all because, damn it, you and I both know she's worth it!"

"I-"

"Go! Go!" She grabbed him by the scrubs and pushed him out the door, smiling triumphantly when he clung tightly to April's note and walked down the hallway.


	23. Where We Go From Here

Robert found her in the on-call room, their only special place in the entire hospital, walking in like he was about to view some major catastrophe and had to prepare himself for the worst; his approach was slow, calculated, as the door closed behind him and she turned, meeting his fearful gaze. "Hey."

"Hey."

He lifted the sheet of paper. "I got your note."

"What note?"

Robert frowned at her surprised face. "The one you...didn't write, apparently."

She frowned. "So I take it you didn't write me this one?" She smiled and produced her own piece of paper, nodding when he scowled in both surprise and slight frustration. "So who wrote them?"

He scowled and shook his head, answering in a low, agitated voice, "I don't like being tricked into something."

April crossed her arms. "And who knows you well enough to trick you into something?"

Robert shook his head again. "Arizona."

"Yeah. She's actually the one who convinced me to come here. I didn't...I wasn't going to at first but she came along and gave me a good reason to come."

"Which was?"

"To see you," she answered. "To get my feet wet and-"

"Take a leap of faith and risk it all because she and you both knew I was worth it?" He shook his head when she nodded slowly. "I'm going to kill her."

"She has good intentions."

"I don't like being tricked into something," he told her again, his voice low and brimmed with even more agitation than before.

"Well..." She fidgeted slightly before looking back up and asking innocently, "Can I at least see the one that she wrote for you?"

He handed her his without a word, sighing when she unfolded the paper and began to slowly read. Not wanting to see her face, he sat down on the cot, leaning against the wall as he sat cross-legged. With a sigh, Robert watched her as she folded the note back up and stared at him. "Well?"

"I can't say she's wrong." April sighed and met his gaze. "In fact, she got everything right."

He eyed her carefully. "Everything?"

"Yes."

"Even the part about how you bailed because you worried one day that I'd stop loving you?"

"Yes," April answered, her voice low, ashamed. "even that."

Robert sighed heavily before twisting his hands together. He had to look away from her for a moment - almost for courage - before he looked back up at her and told her, "I could never stop loving you, April. I...I thought I made that clear through everything that we've been through."

"I'm sorry."

"I know." She had apologized enough, it was hard not to know. Rubbing his temple slightly, he continued, "I just...Why didn't you tell me? We could have talked about it and worked it out."

"I was scared and afraid and..." April moved toward him, the swift motion a plea for him to look at her and give her forgiveness. "I made a mistake."

"And your dad?" Robert asked cynically. "What about him?"

"The note's right," April told him. "I should have fought for you - for us - and I didn't. And I know you don't believe me and you probably won't for a while, but I'd like to fight for us again."

"And how are we going to do that? Because...The next time we try to get married - if that's in the nearby future - there's a chance that your dad's going to come back and..." Robert shook his head before looking at her, honest, his heart raw from the barrage she had forced him to endure. "I don't think I could live with that fear, April. I couldn't deal with every night wondering if the next day you were going to bail on me."

"You have to have faith...faith and trust."

Robert sighed. "I don't know."

"You wouldn't be here if you didn't."

He stared at her, at how she moved toward the cot and kneeled in front of him. "I guess trust works both ways, doesn't it?"

"Yeah."

"So now what?"

"We...We trust each other, I suppose - no matter how difficult that may be because we're worth it to each other."

"You promise you'll tell me when you ever feel afraid or worried?"

"Promise," April agreed, smiling when he outstretched his legs so she could straddle him; throwing her arms around his neck, she asked, "And you promise to never let me walk away again?"

"I don't know, why don't you give it a shot?"

April met his gaze before she began to move away from him; she didn't get far, however, because he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against him. She smiled and whispered, "Guess I won't be going anywhere."

"No," he answered quietly before returning her smile, "I guess not."

"Can I kiss you now?"

"No because I'm going to kiss you first," he told her gently before kissing her suddenly, powerfully - like he had gone years without her warm, wonderful embrace and he missed her more than if someone had ripped his soul out. A few moments passed before he finally pulled away, smiling when she hit his chest in protest. "For the record, I love you."

"I love you more."

"Yeah?"

April nodded. "Oh, yeah."

"Prove it."

April smiled and kissed him once before climbing off him. Grabbing his hand, she pulled him from the cot and out of the on-call room. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." She stopped him from moving any farther than the hallway, however, and told him, "Go find Arizona, have her change, and I'll go find Jackson and meet me at the front of the hospital, okay?"

"But-"

"Just do it." She kissed his cheek gently before bouncing away in a peppiness that he hadn't seen since before their botched wedding. He smiled and shook his head before walking around the hallways to find the culprit of their reunion.

Robert found her a couple minutes later at the nurse's station working on a chart. With a smirk, he came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulder, squeezing gently. Her body tensed beneath his touch and he said, "Arizona?"

"Don't kill me."

"Arizona."

She tensed again before turning around, putting her hands up in her defense. "Now, hold on, okay, I was just..."

He smiled, shaking his head, and kissed her cheek gently in gratitude. "Thank you."

Arizona smiled. "So it worked?"

"Yes, it worked." He smiled again when she began a small victory dance. "Hey, when do you get off your shift?"

Arizona stopped dancing and faced him; she checked her clock and said, her smile still bright. "Right about now, actually. Why?"

"April needs you for something. She...She wants both of us to change. I guess we're going somewhere."

"Do you know where?"

"Probably out to dinner," Robert answered with a shrug. "To, you know, celebrate our reunion?"

Arizona snorted. "What? You're not going to head straight home to...celebrate your reunion in other ways?"

"I guess April has something else planned."

"Ah. And does that bother you?"

Robert shook his head and smiled. "I'm just glad to be with her again. I don't care what we're doing. Besides, we'll have all night and tomorrow to...celebrate."

Arizona returned his smile and said, "All right. Just let me toss this chart off to a resident." It took her all of five seconds to complete the task before she turned back to Robert, smiling brightly. "You know, the light's back in your eyes."

"I used to have a light in my eyes?"

"Only around April," Arizona told him, grabbing his arm as she led him toward the elevator. "And I'm really glad to see that it's back."

He returned her smile. "Me, too."

It took them less than fifteen minutes to completely change and meet April and Jackson - who were also in normal clothes - at the front of the hospital. Robert met April's bright smile with one of his own before asking, "So, where are we going?"

"We," April told him, pulling him toward her, "are going to get married."

"I beg your pardon?"

"We're going down to the Justice of the Peace and we're getting married at the courthouse," April answered simply, linking her arm in his. "So let's go."

Robert could see Arizona out of the corner of his eye jump up and down in joy; he thought she would have laughed in triumph if she were alone. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," April told him. "You have the rings?"

"How'd you-"

"I felt them in your pocket," April answered simply as they walked outside. "So you still have them, right?"

"Right." He hadn't walked anywhere without them - because even though he hadn't been able to have her, holding the rings was a way for him to carry the memory of them around. "April, are you sure?"

She stopped suddenly and turned to face him. "I am. I lost you once, Robert. I'm not losing you again."

He smiled and took her hand in his, vowing to never again let her go. "Let's go get married."

As they walked, Jackson asked, "So, April, how does it feel this time around?"

April smiled before squeezing Robert's hand gently. "It feels...right." Because the first time, it had been everything she wanted - but for all the wrong reasons; it had been an attempt to silence her pain, her insecurities and this...this was all about joy, love, and suddenly feeling more secure than ever before.

"And you?"

Robert turned around and knew is bright smile would answer Jackson's question. "Nothing could make this day better."

Arizona snickered. "Want to bet?"

Robert's face suddenly turned to a scowl. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You act like I shot your dog," Arizona commented with a roll of her eyes. "I just said your day would get _better_, not worse."

"How the hell do you know?"

"Robert, come on," April tried to pull him along. "Let's just go. I want to marry you."

"No." Robert stopped suddenly. "What does she know that I don't?"

"You're acting insane," Arizona told him. "Just keep moving."

"No." He shook his head before turning to April, who looked like she was going to kill Arizona. "What's going on?"

"Robert-"

"What's going on?"

Arizona swallowed before tilting her chin toward April. "There's...another reason why you guys should be getting married today."

Robert crossed his arms. "What does that mean?"

"Don't you think this could have waited?"

"I'm not the one who asked the question."

"Yes, but you didn't go and have to-"

"All right, that's enough," Robert cut the exchange off between fiancee and best friend. "Someone tell me what's going on."

"Are you going to tell him?" April asked. "Or should I?"

"No, no. You should."

"Thank you, I appreciate the courtesy."

Robert scowled at the irritated tone in April's voice. He turned to her and asked, "What is going on?"

April sighed. "I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant?"

Arizona snicker again. "I told you it'd get better."

Robert ignored her. "You're...pregnant?"

"I am."

"And I'm going to be a...?"

"Father, yes."

"And we're going to...?"

"Be parents, yes." When he didn't ask another question, only staring at her, she asked, "Are you...okay with that?"

He exhaled deeply. "I'm going to be a father."

April smiled when his face suddenly turned from blank to a bright beam. "Yes, you are."

Robert turned as his gaze travelled from Arizona to Jackson, finally to April. "I'm going to be a father!" He laughed. "A father!"

"So you're...glad?" April asked, unsure.

"Glad?" He spun around. "I'm...This is great! Great! Fantastic! I...A father! And a baby! You...a mother! A baby! _My baby!_"

April smiled before taking his hand. "Well, come on, then. Let's go make it official."

"A child." His voice was low, filled with wonder at the thought. His smile was bright and strong, unyielding and incapable of being destroyed. Nothing could hurt him now. Nothing even mattered besides the woman about to become his bride, who was carrying his child, who he would love until the day he died - and who would love him until the very end, too.

He would die before he lost her again.

And their baby...Perhaps only a couple months at the moment...there was nothing he wouldn't do for that child, nothing he could withhold and no length he wouldn't travel.

Now it was only himself and April, and a beautiful being created by love, and the world suddenly made sense again. The ground he walked felt firm, concrete, and he wasn't afraid of the future. He wasn't afraid of what they would do or where they would go because they'd be doing it together, as a family, and that...That was all he had ever wanted out of life - all he would ever need.

Arizona was right. Nothing could get better than this - and he was certain nothing would top this day - the day he got back the love of his life and learned he would become a father...

The day he became complete.


	24. Five Months In

"Hey, babe."

Robert smiled as he threw the grocery bags on the counter. It took him all of five minutes to unload the few groceries he had brought before he stared at her again. She laid on the couch, resting peacefully, and he smiled at her simply. After kicking off his shoes, he walked over to his wife - what a glorious thought that was - and kissed her gently before asking, "Did you enjoy your day off, sweetheart?"

April returned his smile. "Loved it. Got some reading done. Medical journals are fascinating."

"Oh, yeah?" In the fourth month of her pregnancy - heading into the fifth - she was beginning to show. And she was glowing, more beautiful to him now than ever before. He face was brighter, and he wished to capture this moment forever. He kissed her again, soft and sweet, a new mannerism he had developed since their wedding; becoming a husband and father had changed him for the better, more than any therapy could - even though he was still continuing that, too, just to be safe.

April nodded. "I wish you would have let me go to the grocery store."

"It wasn't a problem."

"Yeah, well, relaxing is nice but...It only goes so far."

"I won't make you stay on bed rest," Robert told her softly, kissing her again. "I just...I figured you needed to relax today, especially since tomorrow's going to be a long day."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you should have to go shopping after a long day of work."

He shook his head with a smile. "Anything for you. And our little one."

April smiled and commented softly, a whisper of wonder, "You're so good to me."

"You better believe it." He sighed softly and sat beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as she leaned against him. Kissing her hair softly, he told her, "And that's never going to change."

"I'd hope not."

He chuckled. "So...Are you excited for tomorrow?"

She smiled. "Of course I am. Are you?"

"Honey, this is the moment I've been waiting for the past three months. I'm...ecstatic."

"Finding out the sex of a baby generally elicits that kind of feeling." She smiled again when he frowned slightly. "Does that sound familiar, babe?"

He shrugged. "No."

"No?"

"Not at all."

She smirked. "Really? Because I recall Arizona telling me that she said that to you when you shrugged her off about tomorrow - like it's not that big of a deal...like you didn't care."

"She was imagining that."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes."

April shifted so she was on her knees, nuzzling him gently with a smile. As she began to nibble at his ear, she whispered, "I don't believe you."

"You know, this pregnancy, it's..."

"Increased my sex drive?" She finished for him when he seemed to have lost the words. "Are you complaining?"

"Of course not. It's just..."

"Just what?"

"Sex is going to get more difficult as we go along and, wel..."

"Sweetheart," she pulled away from him slightly. "You're a doctor. You and I both know that sex won't hurt the baby. And...If we find ourselves in trouble we have a multitude of different resources to turn to. Don't worry. It'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say."

April smiled and asked softly, "Don't tell me you're nervous?"

"Aren't you?"

"Not really, but that could just be because of the blind desire to have my sexual needs satisfied." April paused after a moment and reared back to stare at his frustrated face. "What? Are you not attracted to me or something?"

He scoffed. "Is that what you think?"

"What else can I think?"

"That maybe I'm a little nervous," he told her, incredulous. "I've never had sex with a woman while she's pregnant...not when your stomach is..." He stopped, suddenly feeling like he was making a terrible, deadly mistake.

"Oh, so you don't want to have sex with me?"

He shook his head. "No, that's not what I said."

"No, you just implied that I was getting bigger."

"Well, yeah! You have a baby growing inside you. Weight gain tends to happen."

"No, you implied that's the reason you don't want to have sex."

"No, _you _implied that," he countered, suddenly wondering how a sweet interaction was turning into an argument that would most likely send him to the couch for the night - and heading into their fourth month of marriage, no less. This was a time of celebration, newlywed bliss, not arguments about weight gain. "I just-"

"Do you even care about how you're making me feel?"

"Of course I care! I'm not trying to make you feel bad about yourself!"

"Oh? So I have a reason to feel insecure?"

Robert sighed heavily and rubbed his temples. "Can we just go back to the foreplay? That was so much simpler, and safe."

"Hey, you brought it up because you don't want to have sex."

"And that's not because I don't want you! I do!" He sighed and took her hands gently when she simply pouted. "You're wonderful and beautiful and-"

"I want to feel sexy!"

"You're pregnant!"

"So? That doesn't mean I still can't feel gorgeous! That doesn't mean I can't want you to want me."

"But I do want you, April."

"Then why the hell do you keep shutting me down? First it was two weeks ago because of work and last week you complained about being tired and now it's because you're nervous and then you mention my weight gain and you know what? That _does_ _not _make me feel sexy! That does not make me think that you're still attracted to me!"

Robert sighed before closing his eyes and thinking for a moment. When he finally opened them, she was on the brink of tears. "April, have you looked in a mirror recently?"

"Yeah, according to you I'm fat."

He scowled and, voiced brimmed with anger, reminded her, "I _did not _call you fat, April. You're pregnant, there's a difference."

"You called me-"

"I did not!" He sighed heavily and shook his head. "Look, my point is, you are sexy to me. You just don't see it."

"Then why don't you point out what I'm missing?"

"Have you seen your breasts?" He snorted before smirking. "They've grown."

"Yeah, and they hurt. Glad you didn't notice that part of it, though - just see how it affects you!"

He sighed in exasperation at her complaints. "You're not listening. I like that about your pregnancy, April. Pregnancy, it makes you voluptuous. It shouldn't make you feel insecure."

"How the hell are stretch marks voluptuous?"

"Because of _why_," he told her seriously. "You are carrying my child - a life that we created together out of love - and that...There's nothing more beautiful than that. And April, you're glowing and you're beautiful and I love you. I love the stretch marks and this crankiness and...I love that we're in this together."

"No, what you love is my bigger breasts and I'm not having any of this."

Robert only sighed as she stormed away, slamming the bedroom door behind her. He thought for a moment about getting up immediately and storming after her - proving to her just how sexy he found her to be - because it was clear to him that even after years of being together and a roller coaster of a relationship, that she had insecurities that blared in her mind; that she wasn't good enough, beautiful enough, that he'd get up and leave her because of a few stretch marks. But he was in this, for better or worse - and if the stretch marks were the worst things he encountered during this pregnancy, than he wasn't going to complain.

Smirking, Robert stood and slowly walked into the bedroom where she was sitting on the bed, her arms crossed, pouting; he thought for a moment that she was close to tears, and he only shoved his hands in his pockets as he smiled again. "Hey."

She continued to frown. "Don't hey me."

Chuckling, he moved slowly and sat beside her on the bed, gently taking her hand in his. "Are we done with this?"

"Done with what?"

"The fighting."

April frowned. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just...I'm not used to these changes and even though it's good...I'm just not used to it. These body changes are going to take some time."

"Anything I can do to help?"

April sighed. "I know that you think I'm beautiful, Robert. And I know you find me sexy-"

"So what's the problem?"

"It'd be nice if you said it," April told him softly. "Because you keep things like that to yourself unless you're aiming for seduction, and it'd be nice to hear that you think I'm beautiful and sexy when you're not just interested for sex."

"But...I do that. I have always done that."

"I know. It's just times like these, I need to hear it more."

"I know. Just...do it _more_."

Robert smiled. "How about right now instead of saying it, I prove it to you? Would you like that - you know, since you were trying to seduce me earlier?"

She returned his smile. "I'd love that."

* * *

><p>"So," the new OBGYN Dr. Jessica Harrison of Seattle Grace Mercy West entered the room with a bright smile and April's chart, "how are the parents-to-be today? Happy, I hope?"<p>

"Fantastic," Robert answered with a smile. "We're finding out the sex of the baby today?"

Dr. Harrison nodded and sat down at her desk. "If you want to. If not...I won't say anything. I'm good at keeping things like that private."

"No," April told her, taking her husband's hand, "we want to know."

Dr. Harrison smiled. After carefully putting on latex gloves, she took out the gel and told April, "This is going to be cold, all right?"

April grabbed her husband's hand tightly with a smile in anticipation. Though she had ultrasounds performed before, Dr. Harrison was correct in her statement that the get was cold, and it still surprised April every time. She tried not to jump slightly, attempting to keep her body tight against the table as if she were about to ride a violently shaky roller coaster.

Dr. Harrison smiled finally, the transducer in her wand to help transmit the sounds waves into images on the screen. "You ready?"

Robert took in a sharp breath before exhaling. "Ready."

It was one thing to see pictures of the baby before, when it barely looked like a child. But seeing that image on the screen, and knowing that soon he would find out the sex of his child, it suddenly made everything different, suddenly more magical and wonderful. This was his child - and boy or girl, he would love the baby the same, because this moment had _finally _arrived.

Dr. Harrison breathed in before turning to both expecting parents. "You sure you want to know?"

"No."

Robert frowned. "You don't want to know April?"

"Well...I..." She paused and shrugged, turning to stare at her husband who looked more confused than hurt - which was a good sign. "I...I want to be surprised."

His frown persisted. "You don't want to know?"

April shook her head. "I...No."

Robert sighed slightly, rubbing his temple gently with his free hand. "Well...Can I know?"

Dr. Harrison raised an eyebrow. "You want to know?"

Robert met his wife's gaze for a quick second, who looked accepted more than anything else, before turning back to Dr. Harrison with a nod. "I do."

"All right. Well, your baby looks completely healthy. No deformities, no signs of anything else, so you're fine on that standpoint."

"Fantastic." Robert paused. "Not that it wouldn't be fantastic if the baby wasn't...Because we'd love her anyway and-"

Dr. Harrison raised her hand to stop him from digging an even deeper grave. "While April dresses I'll take you outside and tell you the sex of your baby, all right?"

Robert nodded before smiling. He kissed April's forehead gently before beaming at her, at a woman who looked more beautiful than ever before and who was the mother of his child. He wanted to kiss her again, but was too antsy to do anything beside know whether or not he'd be playing a game of catch with his son or kicking his daughter's boyfriend's ass if he stepped out of line. The nerves were building so strongly that for a moment he thought he couldn't breathe, but somehow found the air looking at his wife, who looked more content at this moment than ever before. "You sure?"

"Positive."

"It won't bother you?"

"It'll only bother me if you spill the beans."

Robert smiled before kissing her again. "Thank you."

April had finished changing completely about five minutes later when her husband returned after making sure she was completely changing. She only smiled slightly at the large smirk on his face. the way he beamed like nothing seemed to matter anymore. Waving a finger at him, she said sternly, "Do not tell me."

Robert only smiled. "I won't."

April nodded as she did the last button on her blouse. "And you're happy with the sex of the baby?"

"Very."

April smiled. "See, I'm glad that you say that because I know you would have felt the same with a boy or a girl. So you aren't giving anything away."

"Exactly."

She grabbed her purse, making sure she had everything, before turning back to him. "You ready?"

"Almost."

"Well, what-" She was taken aback when he kissed her suddenly, the carnal abandonment enough to wreck her equilibrium when he finally pulled away. Grabbing his arms for strong support, she steadied herself and simply returned his bright beam with a slightly confused stare. "You know, you should kiss me like that more often."

He did it again, smiling when she pushed him away quickly. "What, you said-"

"I mean _not _when I'm pregnant."

Robert waved her off. "I do that anyway. Or is this one of those, you-need-to-do-it-more moments?"

"Exactly." April took his hand firmly in her own. "Come on, Robert. Let's go get some lunch."

"You promise not to yell at the waiter if he accidentally messes up your order?"

"I did not yell at him!" She paused. "And...I can't make any promises."

Robert snickered as she pulled him from the doctor's office. He couldn't take his eyes off her now, knowing that she was carrying his child - that he knew the sex of his child. "You know, sweetheart, you've never looked more radiant."

"You're just saying that because you know the sex of the baby."

He smiled again, thankful that he was wrong when he had thought that his wedding day would be the only great day of his life.


	25. Eight Months and Fabulous

"I see she's not liking her baby bump," Arizona commented with a smile as she and Robert watched April attempt to walk around with a lunch tray in her hands; her walk had slowly developed into a waddle now. "Why the hell aren't you over there helping your wife?"

"Because," he answered with a smile, "the last time I tried to help her I found myself being screamed at. And I don't think an outburst like that is appropriate for the hospital cafeteria."

Arizona scoffed. "You just don't want to get yelled at."

"Fine, you help her." Robert smiled again when Arizona slowly shook her head. "Besides, she's insisted on doing the small things herself - which I can respect. I don't want her to feel like she can't do anything and her only job is to relax and rest. She needs to get up and get out - for her mental health."

"See, you say that, but on the inside it's killing you that she's so far along and still working in the pit and with all the trauma patents - one of the most stressful positions in this hospital - not to mention Chief Residency. You're worried about her. I can see it on your face." Arizona snickered slightly as April continued to walk toward them, her bump unmistakable despite her maternity clothes. "Are you sure you're not having twins?"

Robert nodded, smiling as he remembered the ultrasound. "Positive."

Arizona picked at her food slightly, not wanting to ruin the smile on his face, but knowing she had to. "Are you...Are you two okay?"

His head turned slowly - much worse than if it had been a quick movement because Arizona knew now that was out of anger, calculated and quickness meant surprise. She'd rather have surprise than anger. His eyes weren't angry, however, but a little sad, like he knew the answer to the question but didn't want to admit it to himself. He had been trying to beat back the fear and doubts, and Arizona could see she had awakened the monster who threatened to attack his soul, and she instantly wished she could take it back.

Robert cleared his throat slightly before answering quietly, "We're fine."

Arizona looked at him closely, asking, "Are you?"

"Yes," he responded, voice brimmed with irritation now. "Why wouldn't we be?"

The tone in his question sounded much more like an attack. She shrugged past it and answered, "Well, you aren't worried that...that maybe you guys rushed into getting married the second time around?"

"What the hell makes you say that?"

"I'm not attacking you."

"No, but you are attacking her," Robert answered, his voice low. "And I can take you attacking me - because I'll give it right back - but April...? You don't get to sit here and attack her choices or her character."

"You're not even going to talk to her about it? I mean, it does sound a bit more than coincidence that she wanted to get married when she found out-"

"I don't want to talk about it!" He cut her off, his voice rising. Robert stopped suddenly when she looked surprised at his outburst, and he sighed. His voice lost all it's anger, replaced by guilt - and the truth he was attempting to push back - as he told her, "I'm sorry, Arizona."

"Bygones?"

Robert chuckled. "Sure. Bygones."

"I just have one more question."

Robert shook his head. "If this involves April or what happened in the past, I don't want to hear it."

"Oh, come on-"

"No," he interrupted firmly. "This is supposed to be a happy time for both of us. I'm not going to ruin it by starting an argument."

"But-"

"No buts," Robert told her. "Whatever problems we've had can be dealt with after the baby is born."

"You can't just put things off like that - especially if they're bothering you."

"They weren't bothering me until you brought it up," Robert hissed with a shake of his head. "I am not starting an argument with her that could cause stress - not when she's eight months pregnant."

"Robert, she deals with stress every day, she can handle-"

"I'm not doing it."

"You just don't want to admit it to yourself," Arizona commented quietly. "You don't want to bring it up because you're afraid of what's going to happen."

"Is there something so bad about that?"

"You can't lie to yourself forever, Robert."

He didn't respond except for staring at her for a moment, his eyes more hurt now than when she had started the conversation. Without a word, he looked back down at his tray, an indication that this conversation was over. Finally, he said, "I'll wait until after the baby is born."

After shaking his head in silent disagreement, Arizona leaned forward and tried to push past the tension they had both just created by asking perkily, "You still won't tell me if it's a boy or a girl?"

Robert shook his head and smiled as April finally made it to the lunch table. "I promised April I wouldn't."

April set her tray down with a sigh. "Yeah, you better not help me."

"That's not what we were talking about," Arizona told her friend's wife with a smile.

"Oh," April answered, shrugging. "Then what were you talking about?"

"Well," Robert leaned forward on his chair and took her hand in his, "I was just telling Arizona that I wasn't going to tell you that the sex of our baby is-"

"I don't want to know!" April instantly pulled her hand away from his, her face turning toward a frown when he only smirked proudly. "_Do not _tell me the sex of the baby, Robert Stark. I want to be surprised!"

"Can I ask you something, April?" Arizona asked.

"Sure."

"Why don't you want to know the sex of the baby?"

"Because I want it to be a surprise," April answered simply. "I like a little mystery in my life - one of the reasons I went into trauma - and this baby's going to be no different. Besides, what if the ultrasound's wrong?"

"Well, that's actually-"

"It could happen," April cut her off. "And I don't want any preconceived notion just to be let down if the gender if different. So, surprise is best. That way...There's no spending months and months dreaming and then it not coming to fruition."

Robert only smiled as he squeezed her hand gently. "I'm still glad I know."

"So," Arizona asked, "when are you going to tell me?"

"I'm not."

Arizona rolled her eyes. "Well, damn it, what are we supposed to do about the baby shower if we don't know the sex?"

"It's called gender neutral items," Robert told her with a roll of his eyes. "I thought _you _would know that."

Arizona tilted forward on her elbows and inspected him closely. "Are you sure _you _aren't expecting?"

"Ha ha, very funny."

She shook her head. "I wasn't joking."

"Besides," Robert told her suddenly with a smile, "the baby shower is in a couple days. You, Arizona Robbins, don't have a gift? I thought you would have found something already. Shows what my kid means to you."

"You didn't get Sophia something!"

Robert snorted. "The hell I didn't."

Arizona crossed her arms. "What did you give her?"

"Life! I gave her life! That sounds like a pretty excellent gift to me. Sure as hell tops a stroller!"

Arizona smirked suddenly in her defeat. "Well, you have me there. Well, you know, if your kid ever needs me, I'll be here for you."

"I appreciate that, but it won't be necessary."

"Oh? Because you're going to handle it?"

"No," he answered proudly. "But if I were to, I'd be excellent under pressure and handle myself. Regardless, my kid won't need help. She - or he - will be in perfect health."

"Baby on PCP?"

Robert snorted. "Not a chance in hell is my kid doing drugs. I'll put him - or her - in the ground myself before that happens."

"You know," April chimed in, "I'm really feeling like an elephant in the room. And it's not because of my stomach."

Robert took her hand gently. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. We just...I'm sorry."

"So April," Arizona turned her attention from Robert, "what exactly do you want me to get you for the baby shower?"

"We set up a registry. Callie didn't tell you?"

"This girly girl stuff is all Callie's realm. I'm like you." Arizona hit Robert's arm with a smile. "You just tell me what to buy, and I'll do it. Oh, if you're having a girl, you can have Sophia's things!"

April frowned slightly. "You and Callie aren't having more children? Sophia would love a little brother or sister!"

Arizona shrugged. "We're fine for now. Besides, you can just give them back if we need it again."

"I have a question."

"Shoot, Grinch." Arizona gave him a smile when he glared at her.

"We're doctors."

"You're just getting that now?"

"No," he answer, glaring at her again. "What I'm saying is that we are doctors, we have quite a bit of money. At least, April and I do - when it's our money and not just her money - so why are we so worried about buying things?"

"Because even if we have a lot of money," April told him, "we still need to budget and spend within our means. And hand-me-downs, who can pass those up?"

"You ever have hand me downs?" Arizona asked the mother-to-be.

April smiled. "Older sister's. I wanted to be just like her. You?"

Arizona shrugged. "Older brother. So...just his sweatshirts."

"Well, that explains a lot." Robert groaned when Arizona and April both him, hard. "Come on, it was a joke."

"Yeah, well it wasn't funny," Arizona scolded angrily. "I don't appreciate the stereotype."

Feeling the tension escalate - something April wanted to avoid this close to her due date - she decided to quickly change the subject to something more joyful. Quickly taking her husband's hand, because she had released it to hit his arm, April told Arizona, "Well, on a more serious note there was something Robert and I wanted to talk to you about."

Arizona frowned. "Am I in trouble?"

"No."

"Yes."

"Robert, shut up," April told him with a shake of her head and soft smile when he only smirked in response, dodging another hit from Arizona. "Robert and I were wondering if you and Callie wanted to be our child's godparents."

Arizona's face instantly reflected elation. "Really?"

"Yes, really. That is, if the two of you are up to it," April told her. "You can of course discuss it with her of course and get back to us, it's just...We wanted to ask you two first."

"Really?" The joy was clear, too, in her voice. She hit Robert again and smiled. "You'd trust me with your child?"

"You trusted me with yours. Besides, you're the only one who we could really trust - besides Meredith and Derek - but we aren't really as close to them as we are to you and Callie."

"We'd love to."

"Don't you want to speak with Callie first?" Robert asked.

Arizona waived him off. "Okay, hypothetically, let's say something happens to you guys and someone has to raise your child for you. Who's going to fight us?"

"My parents," April answered. "Even if some of them still don't like my husband."

Arizona raised an eyebrow. "Your parents?"

"Yeah. They're, uh, they're starting to get it, finally, that I've made my decision and they might as well live with it. My dad's still not happy, but it's not about him anymore. This is my family, now."

Robert squeezed her hand in support, giving her a soft smile to show that he was okay with her father's dislike so long as he had her and their child - the only family he needed. "Regardless, April and I are going to make a living will to state the guardianship - as soon as we hear back from you."

"Who's it going to be if not us or your parents?" Arizona snorted. "Jackson and Lexie?"

Robert smiled. "I don't think they'd like to become parents unless it was on their terms."

"Callie and I would be happy to do it."

"You need to speak with her first," Robert told her sternly. "Before April and I make our living will."

"Well, I'm answering for her."

"Arizona."

Arizona sighed. "Fine. I'll talk to her."

Robert nodded. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>April sighed heavily as she waddled into their new apartment. Even though they had lived here a month, it still didn't feel like home. Home was the apartment they had shared together and this...They would certainly make this their new home. It was bigger than the first apartment only because of the second bedroom - which would be used for a nursery.<p>

Reminded herself of the second bedroom, April walked in and smiled to find Robert busy painting one of the walls. "Clouds?"

He stopped moving the roller. "They're peaceful."

"Yeah, but clouds?"

"They're neutral, too, sweetheart." Robert shook his head with a smile and continued to paint with the roller. "Do you have something else in mind?"

"No."

"You really shouldn't be in here, the paint fumes and all."

"You have the window open and like ten fans going!" April sighed when he shot her a look. "Well, I need to talk to you, so will you come out here?"

Robert set down the roller quietly, wiped his hands off, and walked into the living room where she sat on the couch. With a smile, he sat beside her and gently kissed her cheek. "Do you know how beautiful you are, sweetheart?"

"Only when you tell me, which is becoming like three times a day now."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No, I need someone to think I'm beautiful when I feel like an elephant."

He kissed her once more. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"You're so busy painting the room, when are you going to set everything up?"

"We only had the baby shower yesterday, sweetheart. Give me time."

"I know, it's just...I don't want to miss anything."

"I love when you get all worried and concerned about order," Robert whispered softly as he kissed her cheek. "You still want me to abide by that checklist?"

"Are you making fun of me?"

"I would never do that."

April eyed him carefully. "I'm just nervous, is all. I want everything to be ready when the baby arrives."

"And it will be. It's just...things like these take time. I"m only one man." Robert sighed. "Would it make you feel better if I asked Jackson to give me a hand?"

"Would you?"

"If it made you feel better. You know I'd do anything for you."

"Anything?"

"Anything," he answered with a smile, knowing that she would make him eat his words by the slowly growing grin on her face. "Sweetheart, what are you going to make me do?"

"Will you rub my feet?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"They hurt, a lot."

Robert sighed before extending his hand toward her, shaking his head when she chuckled triumphantly. "Is there anything you wouldn't do for me?"

April glanced at him carefully before answering, "No."

He smiled. "Good."

She didn't like his grin. It looked unnatural, though he had been smiling quite a bit the last eight months - on a new level of elation that was only recognizable to those who realized their dreams and had all their wishes granted. "Why?"

"Well, because I'm rubbing your feet-"

"No," she answered instantly, knowing where he was headed. "We can't have sex later."

Robert frowned. "Why not?"

She sighed softly. "Because."

"You're not in the mood?"

"Sure, let's go with that."

Robert looked at her. "April, why don't you want to have sex tonight, really?"

April sighed, pausing for a moment, before she answered, "Because I look like an elephant."

"You _do not _look like an elephant," he told her firmly. "You look beautiful."

"Well, I feel like one, then."

"You know," he watched her with a smile as the foot massage was beginning to relax her and alleviate some of the pain, "there are ways that we can be intimate without having sex."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he agreed softly. "I think we should try them."

April sighed softly in contentment. "After my foot massage."

He smiled. "Anything for you."


	26. One of Our Own

"You working in the pit today Dr. Karev?" Bailey asked as she, Alex, and Meredith led the new residents - and their new interns - around the hospital, soon to delegate who would work where today. Through April's new maternity leave in the past month - per doctor's orders because she was in the final month of her pregnancy - the Chief had made Bailey Interim Chief Resident, and she was loving the position, relishing the moments when she could lead people around and cringing in stress when people screwed up. But the good and the bad was all part of the game, and it was a game she loved to play.

"I am," he answered. "With Dr. Grey."

Bailey nodded. "And Little Grey? Where is she today?"

"She's taking a few of the interns on rounds," Meredith answered as they walked toward the pit.

Dr. Bailey nodded. "Good. Should be an easy day for all of us."

Karev snorted. "Easy? The pit is never easy."

"Kepner has handled it wonderfully," Bailey praised. "Even during her pregnancy. That girl has nerves of steel when she wants them. Kind of reminds me of...me."

Alex and Meredith both met each other's gaze with a smirk before walking into the pit where they put on the proper gear and walked outside to where an ambulance would come screeching in with a needy patient. Meredith continued to tie her gown behind her back as she asked, "Do we know who the ambulance is bringing in, Dr. Bailey?"

"They just said a couple who got in a car accident. Both seem to have suffered concussions and different injuries."

Alex stepped forward, into the rain. "Did they say anything else?"

"The woman's pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Meredith questioned. She turned back toward the interns behind her and said, "Hey, one of you guys, page Dr. Harrison, Dr. Shepherd, and Dr. Hunt."

It was only moments later that the two ambulances sped up, lights and sounds blaring; the paramedics were quick as they unloaded each patient. Karev and Meredith took one of the ambulance while Bailey helped the other.

She froze immediately. "Kavev? Grey?"

"Yeah?" They answered in unison.

"Who do you have there?"

The lack of answer told Bailey everything she needed to know. She knew by the hitch in Meredith's breath that she understood. "We need to book two ORs right now, Dr. Grey."

"That's-"

"I know who it is, Dr. Karev. Book two ORs, right now!" Bailey turned to one of the paramedics. "Who has the worse head injury?"

"The woman," he answered as they began to wheel the stretcher into the hospital.

Bailey nodded and as they moved quickly, told Meredith, "We're putting April in OR 1. Have Dr. Shepherd head there, as well as Dr. Harrison and Dr. Hunt."

"But what about-"

"His injuries aren't as severe," Bailey answered. "With her pregnancy...She and the baby need to come first right now. Now go!"

Bailey moved quickly along with the stretcher and fellow doctors as they wheeled her to the elevator. She would do everything in her power to help this woman and her baby, because she couldn't bear the thought of losing another one of her babies.

* * *

><p>Derek looked up from the surgery to stare at the images on the screen, a magnification of the brain he was operating on - a brain of one of the people he worked with; this was definitely not something he expected to endure when he went to work this morning. All he could be thankful for was the other passenger - his other colleague - whose surgery seemed to be running smoothly at the moment.<p>

He had maneuvered between operating rooms when he was needed throughout the course of the past hour and a half to two hours - preventing bleeding in one, attempting to save another by preventing more injury in another. Now he was back here again, and would remain here until he was called back to the other operating room. Derek would love the thrill if two of his friends' lives weren't on the line. The thoughts echoed in his mind - the possibility of losing one of them - and he had to take a pause to breathe, to collect himself.

Because in this moment he was needed here, and he had to focus and put his emotions aside.

"Dr. Hunt?"

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd?"

"How's the baby doing?"

"Stable," Owen answered, simply, robotically, as they focused on the patient before them. Like Derek, he had spent the past hour maneuvering from one patient to another - both injuries extensive, severe, because they were hit head on. "It's a miracle the baby survived, if you ask me."

Derek only murmured softly. "It'll be a miracle if we can save the parents, too." He sighed softly and stared at the images before him, inspecting them closely. "Do you see that Dr. Grey?"

Meredith turned to stare at the screen. "I do."

"And how do we-" He stopped suddenly when he heard the screeching of a machine.

"Dr. Shepherd, what-"

"Cerebral hemorrhaging," Derek answered in a rush as he quickly moved to stop the bleeding, his goal right now. "Comes out of nowhere and - Shit!"

Meredith could only stare at the screen, then down at the body before her, despite the rush of doctors around her who moved to save the patient - who was one of their own. Her body was paralyzed, stuck in this moment of fear, panic, worry, and anger. This shouldn't have been happening. They were finally happy,_ finally_, and now it was possible to have it ripped from them all because someone decided to drive drunk. This wasn't fair, or right, and she couldn't will herself to move.

The flatline rocked her out of her state of shock, so much that she didn't hear as the crash cart was brought in. Still she stood, immobile, and hating herself for her inability to work and save this patient - someone who she had grown to respect and treat as a close friend. Suddenly she couldn't hear anything.

"Dr. Grey," one of the surrounding doctors asked.

She didn't answer.

"Meredith," another doctor said her name in an attempt to get her attention.

Still nothing.

"Meredith!"

_"No!_"

Derek looked up from the sight on the screen at his wife, at the tears which rolled down her face, ignoring the faces of the fellow surgeons around him. Sighing heavily, he said, voice a mere whisper, "Time of death, 10:28 pm."


	27. Find You in the Dark

**A/N: Sorry the chapter's so short...among other things. **

The softness of the sheets still surprised her; they felt like they had just come out of the dryer, warm and comfortable and something she could snuggle in for hours on end so long as he was beside her. It took April only moments after waking up in the middle of the night to realize that - though the sheets were comfortable and cozy - Robert wasn't beside her. Frantically, she stared around the bedroom and tried, through the dark, to find his shadow, a hint that he still belonged to this apartment and hadn't left her...that it was all just a dream.

Maybe she was just missing something; that had to be it. Her body movements were frenzied, veering into panic mode, as she reached beside her. Maybe she was just seeing things and he was really there.

When her hand touched only the comforter, she knew he was gone.


	28. I Love You More Pt 2

April thought her heart was going to explode out of her chest any moment from stress and panic. After seizing from the bed - _their _bed - she had quickly dressed in whatever clothes she could find, which turned out to be a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, she had driven to the hospital. Ignoring all the confused stares and questions around her, she had gone immediately to the surgical board and felt her heart pull to see his name on the board - that had yet to change. Her movements had become even more frantic as she ran to his office and found it empty, dark, uninhabited. Then, in one last final ditch effort to cling to the man who had captured her heart and soul, April had made her way to their special place.

She opened the door carefully, slowly, as if afraid to admit any light in the dark room. She shut it gently, staring at the two figures, each on separate cots, after a long night of surgeries. Both backs were facing her, but she knew distinctly who they were, and the almost haunting memories propelled the tears out of her eyes and down her cheeks. Her sobs must have been loud, because one of the figures turned around to face her with confused, drowsy eyes.

"April?"

She wiped them furiously away. "Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

She only shook her head and chuckled as more tears came. "Nothing. Just...Just go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"No. Come here."

She fidgeted slightly, the pain in her heart outweighing the pain in her feet. "What about Arizona?"

"She's asleep." He extended his hand toward her as he sat up to allow her more room. "Now, come on, April. Talk to me."

"You've had a long day," she quickly told him, moving to back away and out of the room. "And you should sleep and I'm going to let you sleep it's just...I had to...I'm going to go."

"You had to what, April?" Her sob rocked him so hard that he stood up and walked over to her, putting his hands on her cheeks in the dark. Gently with a tender touch, he wiped away the wet drops and kissed her forehead, her skin warm. "What's wrong?"

"I had a terrible dream."

"Hey." He kissed her hair softly when she rested her head on his shoulder and held onto him like he would float away from her forever; his hands gently ran along her back, pushing things so far to even let his fingers run underneath her shirt, loving the feel of her skin beneath his touch, which was so much better than latex gloves and a scalpel. "What happened?"

"It was so real...I...I had to come find you to make sure..." Her voiced trailed off with a sudden sob. "I'm so glad it was just a dream."

He pulled away from her slightly and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "What happened, April?"

She looked at him finally. "You died. And...And I couldn't bear the thought of that, Robert. I couldn't...And when I woke up you were gone and I thought that maybe it wasn't a dream - because it felt so real and painful and...I had to see if I was dreaming or not. When i saw you lying here, I just...I...I'm so glad I was just dreaming and that you're here and you're alive and that you didn't leave me." April couldn't stop her growing tears and sniffled.

He frowned slightly. "I died?"

She only nodded. "It felt so real."

Robert pulled away slightly to look at her. "Well, it wasn't, all right? I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

She sighed softly and leaned her head on his shoulder again, so grateful for his touch and the strength he offered though he didn't completely understand her fear - because, after all, the dream had been so real and so intense that when she woke in the middle of the night and found him not asleep beside her, she thought it was real. For the first time in her life she had felt an overwhelming sadness and crippling trepidation that had sent her into a frenzied spiral until she knew it was just a dream. April hadn't lied to him, either. Nothing made her happier than to know he was in her life, that he wasn't gone, and that it was all just a horrible nightmare. "I love you, Robert."

He kissed her hair gently. "I love you, too."

"I should go," she whispered gently.

Robert smiled when she didn't move away from him and instead rested her head on his shoulder once more with a sigh. "You don't look like you want to leave."

"I don't want to ever let you go." She shook her head. "Not ever again."

"Well I have an hour to go until I have my next surgery," he whispered gently, afraid to wake Arizona up, who slept in the other cot after a strenuous surgery which had drained her energy. "And then after that, I'm heading home, so..."

"What?"

"Do you want to lay down?"

April scoffed. "On the cot?"

"We've done it before."

"Not when I'm eight months pregnant, we haven't," April told him before shaking her head. "I'll have to sleep on my side, so that means we'll have to spoon if we both want to be somewhat comfortable."

He smiled. "You act like that's a terrible idea."

"There isn't much room."

He shook his head before kissing her forehead again. "Then we'll just be closer together, more intimate. It'll be fine, I promise. If you don't want to, I'll just see you at home when I'm done with my second surgery and..."

"No," she cut him off with a shake of her head. "I...It might be weird, but I need to feel you next to me. I need to know that you're there."

Smiling, Robert kissed her gently, slightly surprised when she deepened the kiss almost immediately. After pulling away, he murmured softly, "Well, I guess that dream did feel real, didn't it?" Chuckling softly, he shook his head, took her hand, and gently pulled her toward the cot. When they were situated moments later, he sighed softly and wrapped his arm around her pregnant belly, wondering how much longer it would be before they welcomed their child into the world. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now."

"Okay." He kissed her hair. "Do you just want to sleep?"

"Yes." She quickly grabbed his hand, not wanting to let it go. "I love you, Robert."

"I know." If Robert had ever doubted her love and support before, her bizarre nightmare and subsequent reaction indicated to him that abandonment and disinterest had never crossed her mind, not anymore. His fears and doubts were gone now, when she showed him exactly how she felt, and he was so thankful for the realization. Any fear that he had vanished, and he was never afraid that she would leave him again; her tears had made it clear how much he meant to her. "I'd say I love you more, but I think this changes that."

She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it, feeling herself begin to fall asleep, content and happy that it was all just a horrible nightmare, that he was holding her and everything was okay, because losing him was something she could never handle. "Robert?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you more."

He smiled against her neck. "I'm starting to believe that."

**A/N: I was going to kill him off, too; I was going to have one final chapter about April coping with his death and their child (in which I was going to explain why he died on that OR table and not her). However, like you guys probably are, I am so thankful that I didn't go down that route. What was I thinking killing one of them off like that? Crazy thoughts. I'm so, _so_ glad I changed my mind. **


	29. Labor Day

"Is this seriously the only place you two cuddle? Jesus!"

Robert laughed when he found Arizona staring at them in disgust before she rolled on her back and put a pillow over her head to shield herself from the scene. He only shook his head and checked to make sure April was still fast asleep - undoubtably needing the relaxation after her nightmare which would have haunted her forever - before he turned to stare at Arizona again. "I didn't know she was going to come in here."

Arizona lifted the pillow slightly. "What's she doing in here anyway?"

He smiled when she immediately brought it down on her face after asking the question. "She had a nightmare."

"So that warrants her coming in here on her day off and-"

"Why are you being so bitter and snippy tonight?" Robert asked carefully, shaking his head when she only glared at him. "It's not like we're having sex right in front of you. You'd do the same thing with Callie, admit it."

"That's different."

He snorted. "How?"

"Because that's me with my wife, not you with yours - and let me tell you, my wife is more appealing to me than you are."

"I would hope so." He quickly lifted his hand up. "Do not throw that pillow at me, Arizona! If you hit April and not me, shit is going to hit the fan. You think I've been a jackass before when it comes to work? Don't even try me."

She frowned and pouted before throwing the pillow down beside her. "I don't like you."

"We aren't interrupting your sleep," Robert countered. "So you just roll back over and pretend like we aren't here. You'll never know we were here unless you turned around and stared at us."

"See, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I sleep on my right side. If I sleep on my left, I'm cranky and bad things happen when I'm cranky. I become...you."

"Well, now you're just being difficult."

"Sucks, doesn't it?" She asked proudly with a smirk. "When the shoe is on the other foot."

"Ha, ha, very funny."

Arizona sighed before finally rolling on her stomach so she could stare at him more clearly. "Why is April here, anyway? Last thing I remember was coming in to find you asleep and crashing myself. Did she sneak in here for a midnight rendezvous and my presence interrupted your plans?"

"She had a nightmare."

"And she came running to you?" Arizona smiled, finally. "That's sweet."

He frowned. "I don't like your sarcasm."

"I'm not being sarcastic! That perkiness was real!"

"Well, I don't like it," he mumbled, shaking his head.

"April's perky."

"That's different."

"How?"

"I actually like her."

Arizona disregarded his threat as she picked up the pillow and threw it at him, hard, smiling triumphantly when it it him and barely nicked April in the process. Immediately, she braced herself for it to be thrown back, and he didn't disappoint. With a soft chuckle, she threw the pillow down beside her and when she turned back, April was in the process of waking up, her eyes blinking furiously through the darkness. "Hey, April."

"Arizona," April answered, groggily. "Morning."

"I hear you had quite a night."

"Bad dream."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

Arizona nodded. "Well, you know-"

"Don't you have somewhere else you need to be?" Robert snapped, staring at her closely, hoping she was going to get the hint that they wanted privacy. Arizona only returned his stare, snorted softly, and rolled on her back. "Remember? You said you wanted to go ask Callie something?"

Arizona sighed heavily and dramatically threw the thin blanket off before getting up off the cot and walking out of the on-call room, to give them the privacy they desperately needed and would enjoy, she was certain.

When the door closed slowly, Robert gently leaned down to place a soft kiss on her neck, having missed the warmth of her body next to him at night with his normal daytime shifts and her nighttime ones. Their roles had reversed recently since she entered the last month of her pregnancy - due any moment - and she had been given less work, but still a somewhat heavy workload. They had given her days and strictly put her in charge of scheduling and now he worked nights. Smiling softly, he held it tighter; it felt so good to have her next to him again. "How you feeling?"

"Much better."

"Do you want to talk about that dream you had, with me and not Arizona?"

"What's to know? You died, I was upset, woke up and feared that it might not have been a dream and...well, here we are. Clearly I was just dreaming." She chuckled softly and took his hand gently. "Thankfully."

He kissed her neck softly in response. "I'm not going anywhere."

She sighed. "I don't think I could handle that, Robert. I...I can't imagine my life without you, and I don't ever want to."

Robert smiled. "I love you, too, darling."

* * *

><p>"Stark!"<p>

Robert turned around from the nurse's station - a day after April had found him, frantic after her dream - and frowned to see Arizona running toward him, sprinting really. He had never seen anyone run faster, like his life - or even hers - depended on this one moment of agility. He frowned when she stopped in front of him, out of breath. "Arizona, what did you do? Run down three flights of stairs?"

Arizona doubled over, sucking in breath, before she faced him. "April...She's...She's..."

"What's wrong with her?" His smirk instantly fell, worried. Were Arizona not before him and he knew where April was, he would have darted toward her without a second thought - as if his life, and his baby's, depended on it. When Arizona didn't answer and instead attempted to control her breathing, he shook her slightly. "Arizona, focus! What is wrong with April? Is it the baby?"

"She's in labor!"

Robert looked away from Arizona to see Jackson round the corner and bound toward him with ease.

Arizona scowled. "How did you get here so fast, Avery?"

"I'm a fast runner," Jackson answered simply, no where near out of breath as Arizona. "She's in room 302B, and she's having contractions and this is legit. Dr. Harrison's in there right now. This is not a false alarm."

Robert simply darted away from them and run up the stairs as fast as he could toward the woman he loved and the child he could soon call his. Arizona only smiled and laughed slightly at the moment before she turned toward Jackson, clasping his shoulder to keep herself steady. Fighting for breath, she told him, "God, I love this day."

Jackson smiled. "He does look happy, doesn't he?"

"Oh, this is going to be the best day of his life besides marrying April, I guarantee you that." She laughed. "Who would have thought? Stark and Kepner, together, and having a child. A beautiful little baby."

"You think you'll be the godmother?"

"Oh hell yeah," Arizona answered, her beam growing. "And I can't wait to spoil this kid."

"Well, what are you doing here?"

Arizona frowned. "Avery, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Aren't you going to go be there with them? You and I both know Stark won't be able to do it by himself." Jackson smiled when she sighed heavily, exhausted, and began a mad dash toward April's room herself, bounding up steps and corners to await the birth of their beautiful child. And she, like she knew Robert and April felt, couldn't wait.


	30. The Sound Barrier

Robert laughed softly when her head turned to him slowly, a small smile on her face; he could see through the grin that she was afraid, both for herself and the baby, because she had never given birth before - let alone through a cesarean section. On their way to the operating room, Dr. Harrison had promised that everything would be all right; c-sections were common and simple procedures and she had nothing to be worried about. Now, both parents - as well as Arizona, Dr. Harrison, and her team - donned scrub caps and proper gowns. Robert smiled at her. "Hey."

"This is way better than natural birth."

He laughed again. "A hell of a lot less painful, that's for sure."

"How's the baby?"

"Nothing's happening so far, honey. Dr. Harrison is just working on getting you ready. It shouldn't be long now." He smiled at her. "But the baby's heart rate is still up, so...We've got a close eye on the baby."

April smiled, finally. "Trying to still hide the sex?"

"You still want to be surprised, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do." April tilted her head slightly to see Arizona standing beside her, donned in complete surgical get-up. "You've got the baby covered?"

Arizona nodded. "I will, since numbskull here won't be able to even think once he sees your child. He'll be too happy to remember any of his medical training, so I'm here...Because I'm obviously better than him in everything I do."

Robert smiled. "She is."

"And you're only saying that because today's the day," April commented about her husband. "Lucky you, Arizona."

"We all know it's true."

April turned her attention to her husband, whose eyes had lit up since she saw him. "What's Dr. Harrison doing?"

"She's making the first incision right now," he answered softly. "It'll only be a matter of time, I promise. Only a few more minutes and we'll have our child, sweetheart."

Robert wasn't sure how much time passed, whether it be seconds, minutes, or hours, when Dr. Harrison looked up from her work. "Do you want to come over here, Robert? So when we get the baby out you can cut the placenta?"

Robert looked from Dr. Harrison to April to Arizona, and finally back down on his wife again. He wasn't sure what to do, not wanting to leave his wife's side but wanting to be there for something so excellent with his child. "April?"

"We're okay," April whispered with a smile. "Arizona's got me."

Robert looked up at Arizona, who nodded in agreement. He gave her a soft smile, nodding too, before taking his place beside Dr. Harrison. He had seen many c-sections performed before, even been in the room for some of them because the child needed emergency surgery, but this was so different. This was his wife, and he fought to regain his focus, control, and fears. She wasn't just another patient, and this wasn't just another baby. This was his wife, his child, and it was like he was staring at life in a whole new way - like his future was right in front of him, only moments away. Robert wanted to cry, laugh, and kiss his wife all at the same time. But he couldn't do it all and now that he was here, there was no way he was going to leave his child's side.

And just like that, every action in his life suddenly made sense; this moment had finally arrived, and he felt his heart jump out of his chest at the sight of his child. Before he could cut the umbilical cord, the nurse beside him had to clear the baby's noise and mouth of fluids and just like that - with joy in his heart and completion in his soul - he became a father. And nothing, not even being named one of the best surgeons in the world, felt better than this.

Before Robert knew what had happened, Arizona had quickly taken his child away from him and carried the baby over to a small examination table.

"Arizona?"

No answer. Minutes passed and no noise filled the room.

"Arizona?"

She ignored the way his voice cracked.

"Robert, what's going on-"

"Arizona," he begged, his voice broken beyond repair, "why isn't he crying?"

No answer. More moments passed, and he could feel his heart begin to rip itself from his chest. "Arizona!"

"Get him out of here!" She roared to the fellow male nurses around her. As she turned back to this baby, his son who was blue and having severe trouble breathing, she ignored Robert's yells of plea and protest as two fellow doctors forced him out of the operating room. The sound of his breaking heart which emitted clearly through his strangled cries - even from the hallway - was the only noise she heard.


	31. Devoid of Hope

Arizona walked from the operating room, tearing her scrub cap off furiously in the process. As soon as she swung the door open, she expected Robert to lunge at her with questions and demand answers to them while he furiously asked new ones; she expected a question about his baby, the big ticket: is he alive or not? Even though those were all the things she expected, Arizona wasn't surprised when he was sitting against a wall, cradling his head in his hands. Maybe he didn't want to know, she thought to herself - because of the pain of not knowing, in this moment, was better than facing the possibility that his son might be dead.

What surprised her most of all about this sight, she decided, was that Alex Karev sat beside him, a silent supporter. She had not seen that one coming, both from Alex and from Robert. But here they sat, comrades in tragedy, and neither was going to leave until the news, whether good or bad, was delivered. She cleared her throat suddenly to get their attention.

Karev was the first one to turn. "Arizona?"

He vaguely heard Karev say something and his mind somehow registered that Arizona was beside him, but he couldn't see anything besides the blue paleness of his son's skin, couldn't hear anything besides the heart-crushing noise of silence. The strong silence outweighed any noise in his mind. She could bang symbols next to his ear, and he was certain he wouldn't hear it. This feeling of powerlessness and helplessness in his heart was overpowering his ability to hope.

It had all happened so simply, too. During April's labor, his blood pressure had spiked dangerously and he had gone into distress. After an inability to calm him and bring the heart rate down, Dr. Harrison had opted for a cesarean section. Time seemed to slow for Robert in that moment, when Dr. Harrison told him that things had taken a dangerous turn and they needed to get him out at that moment. Panic had filled his heart, panic he couldn't show to April because he had to be strong for her. If she were to go into distress, as well, he wasn't sure what he'd do. Losing both his child and wife...Emitting his panic wasn't worth that. He could fake strength for a few moments for them.

And that's exactly what he didn't bother doing with Arizona. There was no point putting up a facade of strength because she'd see right through it. She could handle the burden of his pain and walk him through it, and her life didn't depend on his quickly breaking wall.

Robert turned to stare at her, silent, the panic and tears in his eyes speaking more than words. Arizona thought for a moment that he was going to ask her what happened, but the pain - too overwhelming - prevented his speech. She could see the wheels in his mind roll, like he wanted to speak, but the knot in his stomach refused to allow his vocal box to work. He was so powerless and unable to find inner strength that he didn't even stand.

Arizona crouched beside him and took his hand in hers, looking at broken eyes devoid of hope. "Robert?"

Robert only stared at her for a moment before asking, "What?"

"The doctor's just got done sewing April up. They're taking her to recovery right now."

In response, he stared down at his hands, hands which had saved many lives in the past but seemed unable to save a child when it really mattered. He had been unable to help when his child needed him, his son, and nothing was more defeating than that. Finally, he sucked in a breath to aid his voice and asked, shaky, "And my son?"

"There was difficultly with his breathing, Robert and-" Before she could continue with her sentence, he looked away from her and shook his head, an attempt to stop his tears - or at least delay the onslaught. Furiously, he wiped them away. It wasn't until he sucked in another breath, choked, that she grabbed his hand again. "Robert, I-"

"No! I know what this means, okay? I know what it means when babies don't breathe and they're blue and you can't find...I know what it means, damn it! I..." He shook his head and furiously pulled his hand away. His agonized sob came out strangled, like his heart was already torn to pieces and her coming out here, delaying the inevitable, was just stomping on it more. "Just leave me alone."

"In any other hands," Arizona told him gently, "that's what would have happened. But in mine?"

He looked up at her, eyes turning both confused and hopeful. "What?"

She smiled. "He's in recovery with your wife, and he's fine."

"Fine?" He asked, voice cracking in disbelief.

She nodded and smiled when he finally succumbed to his grief - tears of joy which he now wasn't afraid to let go. Clasping a hand gently on his shoulder after his moment had passed and left only a bright smile in is wake, she helped him up and gently brushed out the wrinkles of his scrubs. "You can go see him now. He looks just like you."

"Does he?"

Arizona nodded and added, "Ugly as hell."

Robert laughed finally. "He's all right, though? You're sure of it?"

"Positive. I wouldn't have come out here unless I wasn't sure. It just took us a little while to get his breathing going but he's fine now, Robert. He has your eyes, too. April was happy about that one."

Robert nodded. "Um, can I...?"

She opened her arms and smiled when he completed the hug. It was the first time in their friendship that they had hugged - and she was certain it would be the only time. With a smile, she gently kissed his cheek, not minding when he rested his chin against her shoulder, silently thanking her for saving his son. "I told you I'd have your kid's back no matter what, Robert."

"Thank you," he whispered softly, surprised that he found the words in the heavy, panicked beating of his heart.

Arizona pulled away from him for a moment and smiled. "Go see your son, Robert." She continued to grin when he beamed at her, gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek to further show his gratitude, and walked away from her. His step had quickened, become more alive, and she only shook her head. What a ways they had come. It was only fair after all. He saved her daughter, she might as well save his son.

"Arizona?"

She turned around and smiled at Karev. "That was good of you, Alex, to be here for him."

"He's not that bad," Alex commented with a shrug. "So, is his kid really that good looking?"

"Hell yeah," Arizona answered with a nod. "He's got his mother's smile, too."

"Well, maybe there's some hope for him yet."

Arizona laughed. She knew this was going to be a good day, and no one had disappointed. "I am so going to be his godmother."

"Yay?"

"Yay!" She responded perkily with a shake of her head. "Yay, indeed."

**A/N: I had to give them a happy ending. No way was I going to kill their kid. That's just mean and cruel and not happy, at all. Next chapter's going to have a major time jump (17 years), and will be the last chapter. **


	32. Some Things Never Change

**A/N: This is the big finale! The end! Makes me sad, but I enjoyed the progression of their relationship and how I've made them all end up. I hope I did this couple proud. Thanks everyone for the support and continuing reading even though sometimes you hated my twists :)**

**I couldn't have done it without my loyal readers and I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I did.**

* * *

><p>"Sweetheart?"<p>

April looked up from her book and smiled when her husband sat beside her on the porch swing. Gently tucking her bookmark in the old pages, she turned to him and asked. "Yeah?"

"Where'd our kids go?"

She frowned, taking off her reading glasses. "You lost them?"

Robert, too, scowled and shook his head, defending himself with, "I didn't lose them!"

"He lost them," Arizona interjected with a smile from her comfortable lawn chair. "I told you, April. He was going to lose them one day."

"You told her that seventeen years ago," Robert told her with a shake of his head.

"Yeah, and today's the day!"

April sighed. Even though seventeen years had passed they were still bickering like they were competing surgeons. A lot had changed since then, after all - both professionally and personally. On the professional level, Robert had worked his way up to becoming Chief of Surgery and Arizona had earned her title of Chief of Pediatrics again. They were all older, now, but still maintained the fun that had carried them through years of surgery, loss, and growing love. "Robert, if you're so worried about where they are, call them!"

"I don't want to call them," he answered childishly.

"Lazy bastard," Arizona commented with a shake of her head and a smirk when he hit her shoulder. "Nothing's changed."

"Look," April commented, "here they come now."

The personal front was where everything had changed. Barreling around the corner came April and Robert's two children - a boy and a girl who were now teenagers - as well Callie and Arizona's three kids, one of whom was a teenager and the other two who were six. The twins who were laughing and having a good time, completely dismissed the adults as they ran around another corner toward the sprinkler.

Robert eyed his son carefully. "Oliver?"

The teenager stared at his father; he was his spitting image, and had the same personality except held strongly onto his mother's ability for compassion and care - something which couldn't be taught, but a trait he was born with. "Yeah?"

"Where'd the five of you run off to?"

Oliver shrugged. "Tim and Carmen wanted to go to the park for a little while, so Sophia, Arizona, and I went to take them. We didn't go far."

"You didn't tell us where you were going, either," Robert told his son sternly. "I was worried about you."

"You always worry about us, Dad," his daughter, Arizona - aptly named after the woman who brought her parents back together - chimed in. At fifteen, she had the sniping attitude of her father and perkiness of her mother. She flapped her arms. "You have to let us spread our wings and fly."

Oliver cawed like a bird.

"You're still my kids," Robert reminded them, hiding his smile at their bright grins and shared chuckle. "I'll always be worried about you."

"Dad, I'm seventeen."

"And I'm fifteen!"

Oliver scowled and shook his head. "That's different, sis."

She frowned. "Oh, because there's such a big difference in two years."

He crossed his arms. "Damn straight."

Robert shook his head. "Your brother's right, Arizona. There is a difference between seventeen and fifteen, _but _regardless of your age, you still are my children and I'm allowed to be worried about where you're at."

Oliver shook his head. "Arizona and Callie aren't like that with Sophia!" He turned to Sophia for support, who only shrugged.

Arizona snorted at the statement. "The hell we aren't. She's nineteen and we're still worried about her! You know, the two of you...all of us were worried about you when you were born."

"Oh, God, Mom!" Sophia complained. "I don't want to hear the story about how he saved me and you saved him and...I've heard it too many times!" She sighed, exasperated, before she grabbed Oliver's hand and dragged him away. "Come on, let's go!"

Robert smiled as they walked away, hand-in-hand. He turned to Arizona, who watched her daughter walk away. "Who have thought it? My son, your daughter, together? In a relationship? _Dating_?"

Arizona rolled her eyes. "Please. I called it the _second _Callie insisted they go to the same school so Oliver could watch over her even though she's two years older than he is. And I called it _again _when he asked her to be his homecoming date."

Robert grinned. "He's a smart kid dating older, that's for sure." He turned to April. "Right, honey? Older is better?"

April took his hand and squeezed it gently. "Yes, honey, older is better."

Robert nodded. "They're good together."

"He better not knock her up," Callie warned dryly as she joined the group with a beer in her hand, "Or I'm going to knock him out."

"Oh, is that for me?" Arizona asked, smiling when her wife handed her the beer with a frown. "Thanks, honey!"

Callie sighed before she turned to April and Robert. "You guys want anything?"

"Two beers?" Robert suggested.

Callie nodded. "I'll be back."

"You know," Arizona took a sip of her drink while her wife went to get them their alcohol, "I never would have pegged you as a beer drinker. I see you more of a scotch person."

"I was."

"What happened?"

"It got expensive," April answered with a smile. "Besides, the need for it became less and less as we went along. Motherhood was the only drug I needed to take me away from work, and work was all I needed to take me away from home."

Arizona smiled when Callie returned with their drinks. "I think we should have a toast."

"To what?" Robert asked. "We have all we need."

"I don't," Arizona commented dryly, drinking her beer.

"What could you possibly need?" April asked with a chuckle; her husband was right. They all had beautiful, healthy children along with successful careers and loving spouses. To her, and Robert, this was the world, all they needed.

Arizona smiled. "Your husband's job."

"Over my dead body!"

Arizona continued to smile. "That can be arranged, Robert."

"Ha, ha, very funny."

"Who's joking?"

"All right, all right!" April intervened with a shake of her head. "Let's just...Get this toast out of the way and then go back to enjoying our Sunday, okay? I don't to have to explain to the kids why two grown adults are going to fight."

Robert snorted. "Yeah. You'd have to explain to her kids why she lost."

Arizona glared. "I could take you, old man."

"Old man?" Robert asked before he snorted. "I'm not old."

"Hell you aren't, Grandpa!"

"Oh yeah, well you-"

"Hey! Hey!" Callie interrupted the impending argument by putting her hands up. "April's right. We aren't going to fight today. Why don't you make your toast, Arizona?"

"Thank you, sweetheart." She shot Robert a glare, who mockingly returned the stare. Arizona cleared her throat before she said, "Well, needless to say, it's been a long seventeen years but certainly fun. We've had our ups and our downs - especially Robert and April - and we've all made it through, which is a testament to who we are as doctors and people. Which, by the way, I'm better than the old man sitting next to me in all aspects of life, both professionally and personally."

April stopped her husband from hitting Arizona's arm.

"Anyway," Arizona continued, "we've raised five wonderful children and watched them - and each other - grow and it's been amazing. I couldn't imagine my life without any of you and I'm thankful to call the two of you my friends and this woman right here my wife. I couldn't ask for more."

They all clanked bottles together, taking sips of their beers. After a moment, April asked, "Are you done?"

"Yes, I am done."

"That was a wonderful toast," April congratulated.

"Thank you."

Robert snorted. "I can top that."

"Oh yeah?" Arizona crossed her arms in defiance. "Let's see it, old man."

"I swear to God Arizona, if you call me old man one more time..." He shook his head when April put a hand on his shoulder to stop his threat. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "Seventeen years has been a long time, that's for sure. We have had our ups a downs, but luckily the happy memories outweigh the bad ones. We've grown, found love in all sorts of places, and been there for each other through thick and thin. From saving Sophia's collapsed lung to helping Oliver to breathe, there's nothing we haven't done for each other, nothing we wouldn't do. We all came from two opposite worlds. Me snarky, April perky, Arizona...narcissitc, and Callie, badass."

"Damn straight," Callie agreed with a smile.

"You're calling me a narcissist?" Arizona asked with a scoff. "Why don't you go take a good look in the mirror? Oh, wait, don't! You're just gong to admire your grey hair you icy cold bastard."

"See? Only a narcissist would interrupt my speech and make it about herself."

Callie stopped her wife from hitting him. "Just finish, Robert."

He cleared his throat again. "Anyway, we clearly came from different universes, but it was our differences that brought us together, that allowed us to find happiness and completion with our soul mates. Our differences have allowed us to grow, laugh, cry, and learn together. We've had the rare opportunity of finding a friendship that lasts a lifetime. I know I've come out of this a changed, no better, man and it's because of the people sitting around me. We've picked each other up when we're down and lifted each other up to heights we never dreamed possible. And that, that'll last a lifetime."

After a few moments of silence, Arizona asked, "Are you done?"

"Yes, I'm finished," Robert answered. "What are you going to do? Try to top that now?"

'You bet your old ass I am!"

April laughed as the battle over who could deliver a better speech commenced. One thing her husband was right about, this was a friendship that would last a lifetime and beyond, a friendship she would never forget and was so thankful to be gifted with, a friendship which had touched her heart and lifted her soul. There were no regrets, no desire to change anything, and how many people had that? Not many, she knew.

It had been a wonderful ride, and it all started because a simple farm girl fell in love with the Grinch. She loved her Grinch, and wouldn't trade him - or her life - for the world. Gently, she kissed his cheek and smiled when he turned to her with a smile of his own. "Hey."

"What was that for?"

She shrugged and kissed his lips. "Just being you."

"Well," he took her hand and softly kissed it, "Dr. Kepner, I suppose a congratulations are in order then."

"Oh, yeah?"

He nodded and kissed her. "Congratulations for me, not you."

She laughed. "What do you need to be congratulated on?"

"Being me." He scoffed. "Duh."

April laughed. Some things never did change.

**_The End_**


End file.
